Dear Forum,

[bluedigger]

Dear Forum,
It's been far too long, but here's my story...Yesterday morning, as I was walking the dog on Main Street (aka "the street") a young lady with beautiful dimples and AMAZING cleavage stopped me. "Is there anything to do here? I'm bored", she asked. I laughed in her face and replied, "Go to breakfast, or the library, or Mesa Verde!" She was not pleased and continued on her way, as did I and the dog. My dilemma: Should I just shoot myself right now, or would that be wasteful, and I should wait for a passing bus?

Sincerely regretful,
Dumbass

[auntAgonist]

1. Keep walking the dog ..

maybe you'll see her again(?)

aA

[bluedigger]

5. Way too young for me...

What bothers me is that not only am I not in the game, I seem to have forgotten the rules...:banghead:

[caitxrawks]

2. awww.

Poor guy.

I think cementing your feet and jumping in the lake will be the best bet at this point.

[bluedigger]

3. I would need assistance to do that, wouldn't I?

Something I am clearly not good at asking for.:P

[texastoast]

4. You'll see her again

I have a woo-woo feeling.
;-)

[bluedigger]

6. Doubt it.

Two strangers in a stranger town...

[rurallib]

7. Doesn't matter, Dumbass. You seem incapable of doing anything right.

[bluedigger]

10. Harsh.

Do you know me in RL?:rofl:

[Lucian]

8. I could tell you what you should've done...

but I would've done the same thing you did.

I always seem to drop the ball when it's in my court. :(

[bluedigger]

11. I'm pretty sure I did the right thing.

Didn't make for an ideal outcome, though.;(

[MiddleFingerMom]

9. One night, when I was working and living in D.C.,, I was in my favorite bar...

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.
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...a relatively tiny downstairs jazz joint in Georgetown where all the
big name players that had gigs somewhere in D.C. would come to
form pickup bands. In-fucking-credible -- and a pretty well-kept
secret, too.
.
.
Relatively early in the evening (long after the "show"), I was sitting
next to this attractive attorney and thinking how to approach her
when SHE approached ME.
.
.
Within 5 minutes, she was throwing me openings (sorry) like, "I'm having
a LOT of trouble sleeping lately... and I just don't know what to do" and
"I WISH I could figure out SOMETHING that would help me eventually fall
asleep" and "Can YOU think of something... ANYTHING... that would help
me?"
.
.
But within those first five minutes, she had shown herself to be mad
fucking Fatal Attraction Glenn Close scary. And I kept offering tips
like "warm milk", "meditation", "tepid showers", "chamomile tea". I was
running out of more alternatives and starting to get nervous.
.
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REALLY... FUCKING... NERVOUS.
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She FINALLY got the hint and stormed out of the bar... off to bluer
pastures, methinks.
.
.
The bartender, this HOT 50-ish Gypsy woman (with a bald 50-ish Gypsy
husband who looked like a circus strongman, so my attraction was purely
platonic, TYVM) came over laughing.
.
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"She WAS pretty fucking scary."
.
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I nodded.
.
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A raucous, infectious Gypsy laugh... along with, "TEPID SHOWERS?!?!?!?!?!?"
.
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THAT had impressed her.
.
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Missed opportunities. Missed opportunities.
.
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Greater life expectancies. Greater life expectancies.
.
.
.

[bluedigger]

12. Don't get me started on the ones I ran away from.

Or worse, the ones I didn't run from, but should have!:scared:

[MiddleFingerMom]

13. Some of the ones that I should have run away from, but didn't...

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.
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...turned out to be some of the GREAT ones!!!
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Serious.
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.