I am spitting angry....

[YellowRubberDuckie]

My father in law (FIL) will be getting married to a lovely woman in a couple of weeks. My mother in law died about a year and a half ago of Lung Cancer. The lovely woman has turned my FIL's depression into this happiness I haven't seen in him in a while. The idea for the wedding was for it to be just his kids and her kids and their families.
Apparently my FIL got a phone call from my husband's maternal grandmother, Nanny, asking if she could attend the wedding. What could he say? She put him in a horrible position. If he said, no, I'm sorry, she would have been pissed off and caused all sorts of problems, so he said sure. He's still having a difficult time missing my Mother in law. Luckily the woman he is marrying has been friends with them for 35 years before my mother in law passed away. They both miss her and cry together.
Apparently it is all about Nanny all of the time. It was wholly inappropriate for her to call him to invite herself to the wedding ceremony. She even horned in on every single picture at my brother in law's wedding last month. I was at the point that I didn't want to have anything to do with her after my mother in law died her painful death from Cancer because she told the nun that came into comfort the family that this was the most terrible thing that had ever happened to her! WTF?! Are you kidding me? This didn't happen to you. It happened to her daughter! I don't know why I'm so shocked about this, but I am just shocked, hurt, and pissed off that this woman could be this inappropriate.
Thanks for letting me vent.
Duckie

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. My dear Duckie...

Ah, that is a tough place to be, but I think your FIL is taking the high road here. His joy in his new bride and hers in him won't be diminished by having Nanny there. And since she will be there, it will also prevent a huge dust-up later on...

I agree it was inappropriate for Nanny to invite herself. It sounds to me as though she's afraid of being left out, and her fear leads her to behave inappropriately...

She's no doubt old and lonely.

I'm hoping their wedding will be lovely!

:hug:

[siligut]

2. I have to agree with CalPeg here.

Horning in on all the pics is the biggest clue, this woman feels like she might lose her value, her importance, her support system. However, fear or not, she is being intrusive and this neediness is not at all attractive, her actions seem to actually doing the opposite of what she is hoping to achieve, so sad. Really, from what I can tell, it must be a law of the universe or something, there is always going to be a person like Nanny, sucking up all of the energy, or at least trying to.

I hope the wedding goes well, maybe you can assign Nanny a job to do, so she feels important and will keep occupied with something constructive. :hug: