I Truly Need A DU Hug!

[SPKrazy]

Things are really out of hand with our son right now and I'm at a point where I don't have a clue what to do except do nothing. I am not good at doing nothing.
I'm mad, I'm sad, I'm hurt, and I want to fix this.

:( :(

[DebJ]

1. Here's a hug for you. I was in the same place a few weeks

ago. My son (27) has bipolar disorder, and the one thing meds don't seem to help is OCD, which makes him succumb all to often to a gambling addiction. He did go to one GA meeting last week; crossing my fingers he makes it there this week.

Nothing like your own flesh and blood to rip your heart out of your chest. I could barely do anything for weeks last month; I was so depressed and felt so helpless. And I know this will be a lifelong battle for him.

Hope things work out for you. I'll say a prayer.

[SPKrazy]

2. Thank You

I hope it works out for you too

I'm not far from your mood except I'm mad too.

[Liberal_in_LA]

44. DU hug to both of you

:grouphug:

[WillParkinson]

3. Always happy to pass on a hug...

DU has given me more than enough. I'm happy to share the love.

:hug:

[SPKrazy]

12. Thanks Will

:hug:

[Ptah]

4. You've got it, SPK

:grouphug:

[SPKrazy]

13. Thanks Sir Ptah

:grouphug:

[nolabear]

5. Big hug. Hang in there.

[SPKrazy]

14. Thanks Nolabear

:grouphug:

[Callalily]

6. (((((SPKrazy))))))

and for (((((son of SPKrazy)))))

Hope all works out.

:hug:

[SPKrazy]

15. Thanks

:)

[mentalsolstice]

7. He's a teen, right?

Those can be tough years, both for the kid and the parents. The biggest and most important goal right now...is to make sure he doesn't screw up his life forever. Accordingly, as a parent you have to pick and choose your battles. :hug:

[SPKrazy]

17. Never thought this is one

we wouldn't fight

but pick and choose

:hug:

[laylah]

8. There's always a hug for

you, SPK. :hug:

jenn

[SPKrazy]

18. Thanks!

:hug:

[1gobluedem]

9. Hugs to you

We are dealing with it too; 17 year old boys, how do they make it to 18? I'm told it gets better but I don't know if his father can hold out that long....:hug:

[SPKrazy]

19. I understand that!

:hi:

[murielm99]

10. Awwww.

I hope things get better. If he is a teen, they will. They do grow up.

[SPKrazy]

20. I need to remember that

because it is hard to remember that

:hug:

[abq e streeter]

11. Here's another one for you

:hug: and hoping for the best for you and your son from way out here in New Mexico.

[SPKrazy]

21. Hey New Mexico!

thanks

:hug:

[trof]

16. Here ya go. Wanna talk about it?

:hug:

[SPKrazy]

22. Well I've done a lot of talking

the past few days and today feel a little peace and like I'm detaching from something I didn't cause, can't fix, and I can't make stop.

It is what it is and acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.

:hug:

[trof]

24. Sorry, I don't hang out here as much as I used to.

Guess I missed it.
Hope it works out for you, anyway.
trof

[SPKrazy]

25. Oh, I didn't mean here

I have just talked to people in my life

Thanks for asking though

:hi:

I don't come here often either anymore

[kimi]

23. Of course, a hug.

:hug:

Sons are a blessing, and sometimes a huge pain. I've heard that daughters can be the same, but I've only had boys, so I can't speak to that.

Over 10 years ago, my family was sent to Japan, a military PCS (Permanent Change of Station). Horrible trip, 4 boys under 12 years old, all hyperactive, running around the various airports, the planes, the USO centers (which are blessings themselves). Their father was tired too, but I was starting to freak. Got to Japan, had to deal with housing issues, settling in, schools, all that. In the Housing Office, first of many visits, the boys were running around, yelling, arguing, just over-stimulated. One of the housing counselors, a very nice soft-spoken Japanese lady, could see how distressed I was, and she said to me very gently "One day, your boys will treasure you."

I've never forgotten those words. Don't know if the boys always treasure me, so much - had a huge argument with one today - but it gives me hope. They've survived to legal adulthood. That's an accomplishment in itself, with all the dangers out there facing adolescent males.

Don't give up. It's hard, I know. Please take care. Again, :hug:

[SPKrazy]

26. thanks for the encouragement

:hug:

[applegrove]

27. (((HUGS)))

[SPKrazy]

38. Thanks AG

:hug:

[rurallib]

28. " and this too shall pass"

but boy it can be rough sometimes.

{{{{big hug}}}}

[SPKrazy]

37. Amen

my friend, Amen

[Skittles]

29. tomorrow's another day, SPKrazy

you'll do something, and you'll keep on doing something until something works or at least helps, because you're not good at doing nothing and you love your son dearly.....keep talking to us; someone is ALWAYS here on DU

[SPKrazy]

36. Perhaps you could

do something like you usually would offer :P

:hug:

[joeybee12]

30. Here you go!!!

:grouphug:

[SPKrazy]

35. Thanks friend

:grouphug:

[Gormy Cuss]

31. Oy! Hey, SP-IBTL-Krazy..

I hope things improve soon and I wish that I could offer up more than cyberhugs.

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[SPKrazy]

34. Its interesting

to look at your son's facebook page and see that he hates his parents, and is happy to be at his Aunts home knowing she lives in a 2 bedroom trailer, with 2 kids, a drunken boyfriend, and one working toilet. He sleeps on the couch and her house is dirty.

When he could live in a nice 4 bedroom home with his mother and brothers, and me. I feel only half the hurt or a fourth the hurt his mother feels right now. We are praying and hoping that he just needs time.

This was precipitated by the fact that we didn't want him to see a girl who is 18, on drugs, and lives in a town 15 miles away.

:(

We're trying to learn more, he, and we are in therapy together, but right now he isn't interested in coming home.

TMI probably.

:hug:

[Bertha Venation]

32. SPKrazy

:hug:

Just :hug:

[SPKrazy]

33. Thanks Bertha Venation

:hug:

[SPKrazy]

39. He just came by now

to get his ROTC uniform

We welcome him with open arms, we love him, his brothers are sad.

Yet he is happy as can be. I don't get it, and probably never will.

Learning to let go and let him be him.

I just hope he is okay. He's in a one strike you're out situation with his aunt.

He swears he won't come home EVER! And would rather be in a shelter than here.

Do I know why? No. Honestly he is not being mistreated in any way. He has too many video games, his own phone, a car to drive, his own room, every video game player imaginable.

Yes, I know "things" don't make a home feel like home. He also has two parents who love him, spend the amount of time he wants us to spend.

We just won't let him see the drug addict chick.

:shrug:

[sarge43]

40. On the way

(hug)

[SPKrazy]

41. thanks Sarge

:hug:

[Monique1]

42. First of all

you need a hug, second your son may come around. I went through hell with my two adult children when they were younger but they did turn their lives around. Now they are productive adults with great families. They grew up fast - I supported them but did not give in to them. Now they amaze me. Just don't give up on him but don't give into to him. He needs to learn by his mistakes. :hug: :hug: You did your best so don't beat yourself up.

[Monique1]

43. By the way

I forgot to mention my daughter said the same to me, today we have a great relationship and wants to spend time with me at home. I just let her be -

My son took him longer to come around but he is the same also - comes back home frequently. They knew the door is always open as long as they followed the rules of the house.