Scott's guide to sounding like a conservative

[scottcsmith]

Friends,

Have you been trying desperately to "fit in" with your conservative friends, co-workers, or relatives? Have you tried, but does the things you say give you away as a liberal? Fear no more! In one short minute I will teach you all you need to know to sound like the most seasoned conservative! Impress them at the Toastmasters, or the Monday-morning prayer breakfast. Get admiring agreement in the boardroom! It's easy. Are you ready?

Say the opposite of what makes the most sense!

That's it!

That's the secret the right-wing has tried so hard to keep away from you, the liberal. Armed with this knowledge, you can join in any discussion! Here are some examples:
-- "Deficit spending will stimulate the economy!"
-- "Tax cuts during a time of war? You bet!"
-- "Conservatives have no forum to covey their message!"
-- "Drilling for oil in Alaska will not hurt the environment! In fact, the animal population will thrive because of the heat that is generated by the drilling equipment!"
-- "You're either with us, or against us."
-- "The poor in this country are just too lazy to get a job."


Just remember, the key is to say the opposite of what makes the most sense. Before you know it, YOU will be Hannitized!

[scottcsmith]

1. Shameless kick

I need attention! Define me! Wah!

[Interrobang]

2. Because you obviously need validation...

I hereby kick you. And if that doesn't sound ironic, I don't know what will. :)