Can I get a ruling on a social etiquette question?

[gmoney]

Have tickets to see a band next Tuesday about an hour away. The person I'd planned to go with backed out, so I've been asking around to find someone else to go.

I asked friend A to go, and she said "I'd like to, but I think I have to work, I'll check..."

Since there's some time pressure on this, I took that as a "probably not" so I asked friend J, who said "yes."

Did I do wrong by friend A when I asked friend J without waiting for a definite answer? Friend A has been a little flaky with this kind of thing in the past, and I'm out of town tonight until Saturday night, and wasn't sure how long it would take for her to find out about her schedule. And honestly, I was surprised that friend J was available.

So, am I a bad guy for not waiting indefinitely on friend A to categorically say yes or no? Should I offer to get her a ticket to come along?

[Deep13]

1. It's your ticket. You can give it to whomever you want.

You offered and she did not accept. You are under no obligation to wait after that mostly negative answer.

[gmoney]

4. Thanks...

Given the time constraints, I should have said something like "Well, I'll keep asking around. If you find out for sure you're not working, let me know and if I don't have a taker, it's yours."

By the way, this is the LAST time I buy advance tickets for a general admission concert. Just earlier this week it cost me $65 to NOT see a show...

[Kali]

2. eek - should have asked for timeline with A

hope it works out and she flakes - can you make a preemptive call to A and say "hey I hope this isn't a problem but I didn't hear back from you and asked somebody else - can we make some plans for next time?"

[gmoney]

3. Yeah, I've sort of said that...

She replied that she still doesn't know if she works or not. I offered to do something another time and got a "Sure thing" -- this is all via e-mail, so no emotional tone or reaction is there...

Now I just hope that J doesn't flake on me.

[NV Whino]

5. If everyone flakes, sell it at the event

I ended up meeting a very interesting guy at the opera who always bought an extra ticket and sold it on the steps. Didn't scalp them. It was just his way of having a (nonbinding) companion for the opera. I sat with him the entire second half of the season.

[elleng]

6. Nice idea!

[Sanity Claws]

7. Just call A

and say you couldn't wait any longer and are going with someone else.
No big deal.

[Beer Snob-50]

8. is friend j cuter than friend a?

if so, then you did the right thing. if not, you messed up.

[bif]

9. First come first served

I usually ask several people. The first one who gets back to me gets the ticket. Period.

[mnhtnbb]

10. Best way to handle it when time is important--but need to warn everyone you ask.