"The Gettysburg Address -- by George W. Bush, Barack Obama and Sarah Palin"

[Clio the Leo]

(the Obama version has me in TEARS laughing)

The Gettysburg Address -- by George W. Bush, Barack Obama and Sarah Palin

By Alexandra Petri
In honor of today's date, the anniversary of Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address, here are the ways some topical modern figures might render the classic speech:

George W. Bush
A while ago, these father guys got together and, in the America, they built a country, our country, sort of based on this premise of general free-ishness and equaltude. We are now committed to this War on Terror against the bad guys, who are trying to test our resolve. But this is America! We have the greatest army in the world, and those brave men and women are now out there checking to see if these Enemies are with us or against us, and if they're against us, well, they'll be hearing from us.

Barack Obama
Four score and seven years ago, I had a revolutionary idea. This was back when the many rich threads that weave together in the fabric of our nation still bled from the scourge of oppression in an era where dreams were a commodity to be discarded, but it was a creed that I believed, and that I still believe in, that in a generous and free America, all people are created equal and can dream dreams from their fathers or legal guardians. Now we are examining the range of possibility in these economic times for that dream I had, which is similar to the dreams of Americans from the Rust Belt, where I hear from Joan, a single mother of four, who is worried that she won't be able to put food on the table, and from Jeff, a single mother of six, who is worried that he won't be able to afford a table. I think, candidly, that there has been a failure of message here that has resulted in a lot of Americans becoming upset and even, in some cases, making the extreme choice to secede, but I am confident that we can resolve this, and we've accomplished a lot already.

Sarah Palin
Hello America! Hello Tea Party! More than four years ago, before the Obama administration, the original Tea Party got this great country of ours off to a real good start. They believed in liberty! And freedom! And equality! For you! And me! And all those other hard-working people who are in this country legally! Now, we're in this for the long haul, and we aren't retreating, we're reloading, in order to refudiate this notion that the Lamestream Media has been generatin' that this isn't how you run a government.

http://voices.washingtonpost.com/compost/2010/11/the_gettysburg_address_--_by_g.html