If you could change one thing in (your) history, what would it be?

[denem]

(NOT) alternative history. So ...

So MY history? Even all these years later, I should have taken medicine not law. Couldn't take it, being a legal parasite. I'm a giver, not a predator.

Oh, and I wish I'd never met a fellow student named Bronwyn, left the stovetop on, totalled the Mazda, etc etc.

[mzteris]

1. I often wonder

who would I be? What would my life be like? if this had not happened or that had not occurred.

I often wonder about those parallel universe "I's". What is their life like? Are they happier? More successful? Or did something even worse happen?

While I often wish I had made different choices (many many times), the thing that haunts me most, that causes me the most anguish wondering - "what if" I had not suffered the assault my little girl self was subjected to for so many years. I can't help but think that everything about my life would have been so very different.

[hippywife]

23. Your last paragraph

rings very familiar with me, too. At a very early age I let twp men, one of them my father and the other a long time boyfriend who was 10 years older than me, convince me that I wasn't smart enough or strong enough to do what I desired.

To some extent that has changed but I still don't feel confident in myself to be aggressive enough to do what I want to do on a large scale with the rest of my life.

:hug:

[EternalOptimist01]

2. Well...

I'd have bought as much Google stock as was legally possible. :banghead:

[Chan790]

3. That time I got the clap?

:shrug:

Kidding. I've never had an STD. It's not majoring in English. I knew as I was doing it that I was making a huge mistake and I did it anyways. I hated politics and by the time I figured that out the dean refused my major-change application...so I graduated with a degree in a field I have no interest in and I can't get a job in the ones that do because I have the wrong degree.

[Lucian]

4. I wonder how different my life would've been if I wasn't so goddamn shy.

[Kat45]

11. Same here.

I was painfully shy when I was young, never said a word in class and couldn't say much on interviews. I'm intelligent and had a great education, and if I hadn't been shy, maybe I'd have had a great career instead of having low paying, lousy jobs when I'm not unemployed (like I am now).

[Lucian]

14. The only time I'm not shy is when I'm drinking.

Like now. I wonder if it would be a bad thing to have a shot of something before an interview, just to take away the shyness? I may try that sometime...

[Kat45]

15. I understand what you're saying. I found the same thing with drinking (& smoke)

When I was in high school and college, the only time I wasn't shy was when I was buzzed. I'd meet a great guy at a party, then when he called me (to ask me out) I'd barely have two words to say and he wouldn't end up asking me out.

Fortunately, I shed my shyness when I got(much) older, but by then career prospects had passed me by. I think my condition was helped by getting older, but another big help was when I was on Paxil (in my case, for OCD). Paxil is mainly an antidepressant, but it also is prescribed for "social anxiety disorder," which I believe covers shyness. It made a huge difference for me and I wished it had been around when I was younger. You might want to talk to your doctor and see if this med might be appropriate for you. I took it for about 10 years and stopped last year because I didn't want to be taking something forever. The OCD has returned a bit but the shyness has not. Paxil does have side effects, which may or may not affect you, and one of the big problems is withdrawal symptoms when one stops taking it. It's the kind of drug you have to wean off of to avoid withdrawal, but even with weaning off I still had withdrawal. Three months of insomnia, as well as vivid dreams, was not pleasant.

[raccoon]

42. Just take some altoids along with you so they won't smell it. nt

[laylah]

5. I would have NEVER

left fizzgig's dad (or my children, although they were grown). He was COLD, a NYC kinda guy, to my Illinois cornfields mentality. I am grateful, yet so very sad, he is the best friend I have EVER had, in my 59 yrs. Unfortunately, it is so very after the fact :cry:

Jenn

[GoCubsGo]

6. Wish I'd gone into a different subspecialty in my field in grad school

Shit, I wish I'd gone to a different grad school PERIOD. Wish I had gone to one out West, too.

[femmocrat]

7. I wish I had finished my doctorate.

(I'm too old now.)

I also wish I had earned more than one area of teacher certification so I could teach more than one subject.

I also wish I had married later than I did, but that actually worked out fine and I have two wonderful sons.

[InvisibleTouch]

19. I wish I had never started on mine.

I wasted some of the best years of my life in pursuit of something that I didn't want for myself, but that others wanted for me. Feeling resentful and coerced, I dragged my feet so it took even longer. Had I never done it to begin with, I'd be much farther along in the direction of my true goals.

On the other hand, that experience in grad school was necessary in order to get me to where I am today. I had to "die and be reborn" (almost literally) in order to focus clearly on what I really wanted out of the rest of my life.

[femmocrat]

30. I loved grad school. It really changed my life, too.

I just couldn't see investing years and years for an Ed.D. -- I was kind of burned out after finally finishing my master's and had finally found a full-time position, so I didn't have the extra time to spend on research.

Congratulations on completing yours, though. It really is a remarkable achievement.

[Kali]

8. not really much

but I do wish the confidence to travel would have came earlier - I do regret some lost travel opportunities

and practicing more when I took guitar lessons

[CaliforniaPeggy]

9. My dear denem...

I wish I had been shall we say more adventurous in bed...and at a younger age, too...

:P

[denem]

18. Oh that rings true.

I didn't venture into more radical arenas until I was 45, but that led me to meeting my beloved wife and that I will never regret.

:hi:

[Curmudgeoness]

10. I would have gotten my college degree after I graduated high school

instead of waiting until I was in my 40's. It was too late by then to catch up.

[kimi]

12. I wish I had had the opportunity

to be able to help more animals at an earlier time. It haunts me now that I didn't. I regret some other, very personal stuff, but I wouldn't have had my great kids if that hadn't happened.

You know, some people say that they have no regrets about what they've done in their lives, and I've always wondered about that. Not sure about the regret part so much, but if I knew then what I know now . . .

[travelingtypist]

13. Not been delusional about my addiction status.

My three tried-and-failed drinking experiments after realizing conclusively I was a drunk.

Back on the wagon now for 20 days.

[Lindsey]

16. Well, this isn't something I could have controlled but if my precious

Dad wouldn't have died in a car wreck when I was 12, I think about the path my siblings & I would be on now. We all adored him as he was the best father one could have ever, ever have hoped for. His death completely devastated all of us, even to this day. One sister is in a group home, the other, (after many years of therapy, medications, etc.) finally quit trying to kill herself, my brother is so closed off it breaks my heart, and me...well....I work in a professional position, have great friends, and live in the state in which I belong - California. But, I cry for my Daddy everyday and there will always en emptiness that won't go away. I don't mean to be so dramatic but hey, you asked.

[denem]

21. That's heartbreaking. I can't begin to imagine it.

You're not alone in that "emptiness that won't go away": they are exactly the words my wife uses. Although her loss was her grandfather at age 8, he was one person that bathed her in love. She can't help crying when she thinks about him, or sometimes, if I just mention Grandpa.

Roger Waters (Pink Floyd) lost his father when we was a few months old in WWII. Nothing took that pain away from him, even though he never knew him. Roger is now 67. If someone is seeing the concert tour he's doing now around the States, one the first things they will see is a picture of "Eric Fletcher Waters (1913 - 18 February 1944)". And yes, when he sings, it's "Daddy".

So sorry. :hug:

[joneschick]

24. hang in there.

I'm now 106 days. :hi: (pm if you'd like)

[grace0418]

17. I would have moved out west when I was 24 with a lot less to lose. n/t

[Odin2005]

20. Gotten diagnosed with Asperger's earlier.

That would have saved me a lot of horrible years at school being accused of making excuses and being lazy for which i still have PTSD from.

[denem]

26. I had ADHD before there was even a name for it.

I so get that.

Being thoughtless, being lazy, not paying attention, disrupting class, I copped the lot. Not at the PTSD level, but years thinking I was just dumb. urrghhh.

[HipChick]

22. Never got married..and then moved 4000 miles away

[lunamagica]

25. Peobably it would be that my parents never met. eom

[pink-o]

27. I would never have starved myself or been self-conscious about my size.

I was 6'1" and weighed about 160 when I was in my early 20s, but since I never found any clothes to fit me, I stupidly thought I could anorexize myself into being conventional. I didn't know about messing up my metabolism or the fact that all the thin models I envied so much were miserable as they went days without food. Also, I was not living up to my potential: since I was starving, I couldn't exercise and consequently gained more weight when I started eating again. Worst thing I ever did to my body, even including smoking (which I quit when I was 26; it took another 10 years for me to stop the fasting/binging stupidity.)

Anyway, I'm healthy now: I cycle and run about 25 miles a week, but I'm sorry I didn't figure it out sooner!

[Courtesy Flush]

28. My wife wouldn't get cancer.

I don't know if you mean things we have no control over, and technically, this is HER history I'm changing. But that's my answer.

[OneGrassRoot]

29. I'm giving everyone in this thread hugs if you want them....

[Lisa0825]

33. mmmmm... thanks :-)

I never turn down a good hug :hug:

[applegrove]

31. I wish I'd never met that freak at the political event.

[Lisa0825]

32. I'd have made other plans for the night I met my then future ex-husband. nt

[pscot]

34. I would buy 400 shares of Microsoft

at $12.50 like my wife told me to do back in 1985.

[ncrainbowgrrl]

35. realized at age 12 that being clinically depressed was not normal

especially after trying,,, well... not gonna trigger anyone. Just say that a whole bunch of tylenol was involved

[Lydia Leftcoast]

36. I wish I had been a bit more rebellious as a teenager and college student

I was too docile.

[PJPhreak]

37. If I could change one thing,

It would be my Mom developing Schizophrenia back in 1967...long before there was real treatments for this devstating Illness.
It tore my family apart,Mom landed in a State Hospital (Horrible Places back then),We (my siblings and I) were placed in foster care never to return to a normal family life,I have not had any contact with them in 41 years now as the state,putting us in separate Foster Homes (For our own safety they said),at the time would not allow it.
As we all come apon this Holiday Season Please give your loved ones a GOOD Hug...You never know what tomorrow will bring.

[laylah]

38. ...

:hug:

[LiberalEsto]

39. Should have taken the full scholarship

to Northeastern U. in Boston.

But it was far from home, my mother was ill, and I worried that with Northeastern's trimester system I would never see my old friends.

[Deep13]

40. Same here. nt

[raccoon]

41. I wish I'd had healthier parents, neither of them an active alcoholic. nt