Okay, this is pretty funny....

[WCGreen]

The Parrot

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a
bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's
mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to
change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words,
playing soft music and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the
bird's vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot

yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even
ruder. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put
him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and
screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for
over a minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the
door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched
arms and said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and
actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I
fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable
behavior."

John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was
about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his
behavior, the bird continued, "May I ask what the turkey did?"

Happy Thanksgiving!!

[Phentex]

1. LOL!

Funny one.

:)

[gratuitous]

2. Wait, how did the parrot see the turkey in the freezer?

There's no light in there.

I got questions, dude!

[redwitch]

3. He forgot to mention the night vision goggles.

Duh.

[WCGreen]

5. I did forget that!!!!

[Arkansas Granny]

4. Good one. I've sent this on to some friends who will enjoy it also.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

6. Now, that's hilarious!

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!

[haele]

7. One of my rentmates had three parrots and one used to keep walking into the kitchen

when she was cooking to steal food as well as be with her. She'd end up sitting him on the back of a chair for a kitchen perch.
One afternoon, we were cooking for a party later and Moochie comes in demanding attention and being especially obnoxious and jumping up on the counters stealing our prep veggies. Lisha (the rentmate) picks up the duck I was seasoning and shakes it at Moochie, saying "what happened here?". Moochie went back to "his perch", hunched up, and said "bad bird, bad bird. 'chi good bird now". And he was for the rest of the night.


Haele

[astral]

8. omg is that true?

[LawnKorn]

9. The Burglar

It was after midnight and a burglar had just broken into a very large house in an affluent neighborhood. Upon entering the house, he was very careful not to make a sound. As he crept around in the dark, he heard a voice say, "I can see you! Jesus can see you, too!" Stunned by the voice, the burglar came to a sudden halt, and remained motionless. After waiting a few minutes, once again, the same voice said, "I can see you! Jesus can see you, too!" Becoming a bit more frightened, the burglar took out his flashlight, turned it on, and glanced around the room. To his utter amazement, he saw a large birdcage with a parrot in it. The burglar chuckled quietly and said to the parrot "Did you say that?" The parrot repeated the same phrase again, "I can see you! Jesus can see you, too!" You're just a parrot!" said the amused burglar. "What is your name?" "Noah", said the parrot. "Well then who is Jesus and where is he?" The parrot quickly answered, " Jesus is the Doberman and he is right behind you."