Big angry post

[dropkickpa]

So. Erica died tonight. She kicked major fucking ass. Erica had a major asthma attack 36hrs ago. Her husband gave her CPR. They have 5 kids. She is one of the most creative alive people I've ever met in my entire life. She met my brother 5 years ago at a tattoo convention and the clicked instantly. He's been teling me stories about her since then. I've been dying to meet her since then, but didn't in person until 2 month ago. she's been an integral part of my family for 5 years but i just got to meet her at my brothers wifes bridal showers 2 months ago. Like a sister I'd never met. Me and her just clicke instantly. We sat and talked for 5 houred, marveled over why hadnt my big dumb brother never introduced us. Had a blast. She Loved my family (everyone does) and we kep in very close touch. She came up for the wedding. took the best pictures anyone ever saw, we all fell in love with her, my whole famile wanted to adopt her!!!. 10 days later, we get the horrible news, the day after my brother and his wife, her closest friends here, get back from thier awesome beautiful honeymoon, she's sick. This HUGE bright shining star, forever shuttered. It's just killing me, and I didn't knew her well, so I feel like an asshole, because others in my family were so much closer to her, but I can't help but feel like I know like know a bit more at least in part what some of what her family is going through because of the hours me and her spent talking about how much her kids mean to her and my brother has no idea what that means. I feel like an intruder in a way. It was like one of those junior high *instant* best friend things. We are both 34 (I guess in her case were). I didn't even HAVE one of those in junior high!!

This is really sucking.

[abq e streeter]

1. My god, I can't think of anything to say that won't be horribly inadequate

except that this is so terribly sad, and I'm so very sorry.

[dropkickpa]

4. I cant either

I just feel terribly inadequate, evrything i've said about her, and to her family, cannot pssibly sum up even a small part of what she was. I haven't had a death hit me this hard in a really long time. I lost both of my grandmothers this year and they didn't come anywhere as close as this.

[antigone382]

2. You have nothing to feel guilty about.

The people grieving her loss will be glad to know that you shared an understanding of such a vibrant and significant person. The death which affected me the most deeply was of a friend I had only just gotten to know well (we had been part of the same scene for several years, but I had only just started hanging out and getting close with her a few months before). Some people just are who they are the moment you meet them--the impact they have on you transcends the time spent knowing them. What will be meaningful to the people who loved her is if you participate as much as possible in keeping her memory alive. I don't know what your spiritual beliefs are, but I have come to believe that it is up to us to give a certain kind of immortality to the lost, by acknowledging the effect they had on our own existence, however ephemeral it may have been.

I'm very sorry for what you are experiencing now. I know just what kind of hell it can be...but eventually, I hope you and the others who loved Erica will find peace, as you incorporate whatever lessons her life taught you into your own lives.

[bluesbassman]

3. Oh man, that is heartbreaking.

I wish the best for you and the family as you work through the grief. Sounds like a great group of people, so draw on each other's strengths.

[marzipanni]

5. So very sad.

Maybe there's a reason she had that opportunity to talk to you about how much her kids mean to her, and you felt such a connection.
The next period of time is going to be painful for everyone who misses her, but maybe you and your brother can help her husband and kids.
:hug: & :grouphug:

[dropkickpa]

6. Here's a pic she took of Dropkid

At my bro's wedding, she was playing with long exposure stuff. It is actually my favorite picture ever taken of my kid. She'd been pleaying with long exposure and hand held flash.

[dropkickpa]

7. I've realized my drinkin haz impaired mah spellin skillZ

Ouch! the Copy editer in me is cringing after re-reading the previous posts. But Erica would be laughing her fucking ass off and making fun of each one!!!!

[lillypaddle]

13. spellin errors? what spellin errors?

I don't see any. :hug:

[kimi]

8. I am so very very sorry

Sometimes people touch us in ways that we don't even realize till after they've left our lives. I get ya, there.

And sometimes words really are inadequate. Pain sometimes can't be distilled into words. I'm glad you got to know her, though, sounds like Erica had a major impact on your life, and that's always a good thing.

Again, my sympathies. Hugs.

[xchrom]

9. may Peace be with you and your family at this very difficult time.

a loss like that must be very hard to endure.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

10. my condolences on your loss.

So sorry that you only got know her for such a short time. Treasure the memories and pictures and
May Erica rest in peace.

[tigereye]

11. I am so sorry - she sounds like a great woman.

[Supply Side Jesus]

12. I'm so sorry

What a feeling of lose. My heart goes to you.

[nolabear]

14. I'm so sorry. I can "hear" how much pain you're in.

What a shocking, terrible loss for everyone. Try to take care of yourself and one another for her.

[KatyaR]

15. I don't know what to say either, except I'm so very sorry.

I had a friend like that once--met her in grad school, she was everybody's friend but was still a true friend. I felt like she was the sister and best friend I'd never had. A few years later she died of melanoma, and I felt like part of my heart was gone. Still does, and it's been over 25 years. But I'm so very, very glad I knew her, she changed my life in ways I never knew possible.

A big hug to you today, my dear friend.... :hug: