Opinions Wanted

[LibDemAlways]

The situation:

A week ago my 17-year-old daughter was set to attend a concert with a friend. I bought tickets (25.00 each) for both girls and the friend paid me back for hers. The tickets were to be picked up at will call at the concert venue. The arrangement was for me to drive both girls to the show - an hour away.

The morning of the show the friend texted my daughter to say she was going to the show with another group of kids - basically left my daughter in the lurch. My daughter was pissed off and warned the girl that her ticket was at will call in my name and she wouldn't be able to get it until we arrived. My daughter never told her she was not getting her ticket.

The girl left a tearful message on my answering machine while I was out, and I responded as soon as I received it telling her not to worry, that I would collect her ticket and get it to her well before showtime. I asked her to respond to my message, but she never called or texted back. My daughter attempted to get in touch with her several times over the next two hours, but the girl refused to pick up the phone or respond to texts.

When we arrived at the venue (2 hours before the doors opened) the girl was in line with the other group and informed my daughter that she was "done" with the friendship and didn't need or want the ticket. She had purchased another.

Tonight the girl sent a series of texts demanding her money back for the original ticket. I will probably end up giving it back just to get the kid off my daughter's back, but I am curious as to what you would do in this situation. (I know it's only $25.00 and hardly worth the aggravation, but my daughter insists we owe the girl nothing.)

[Skittles]

1. my opinion

give that stupid girl the money (just to put a definitive end to this ugly episode) and advise your daughter that is one girl she should be glad to be DONE with

[GreenPartyVoter]

19. Agreed

[pacalo]

26. Ding! Ding! Ding!

:thumbsup:

[Deep13]

2. No. No refund.

You bought it based on her request as a favor. If she harasses you, complain to her parents or file a police report for telephone harassment.

[travelingtypist]

28. This.

If you pay her, you're out 50 bucks for one ticket. That's just wrong.

I feel sorry for anyone who has relationships with that girl -- she behaves like a complete boor and then she's the victim because you won't give her the money. Oh, cry me a river.

[Bucky]

3. Take her to the People's Court!

This is the perfect case for a TV court venue

[NightWatcher]

4. who's the band?

before any opinion is rendered, we must know the act

[LibDemAlways]

9. Something called 3Oh3 (not that it matters) LOL

[Kali]

15. ...

:rofl: :thumbsup:

[Inchworm]

5. I wouldn't give it back

And consider it a lesson not to say stuff you don't mean. I'm mean and a point-making type when it comes to teens though.

Our big thing was "borrowed" vs "gifted" clothes when my daughter was younger. When a friendship went on the rocks I'd try to mediate clothing swaps. Eventually, I quit doing that and made sure both knew they were on their own. When (or if) the friends reunited it all worked out. :P

:hi:

[Lisa D]

6. Give her the money back along with

a Miss Manners book of etiquette. Maybe she'll get the hint that she behaved badly in the situation.

[Iggo]

7. You really don't owe her anything, however...

...you would be buying twenty-five bucks worth of "never have to talk to this punk ass again."

Is that worth $25.00?

[MiddleFingerMom]

8. I agree totally with comment #2...

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...but then again... I have zero tolerance for assholes and/or bullies.
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The "right" choice is not always the "best" choice.
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[suninvited]

10. mail her the ticket

and tell her that she is free to sell the ticket to recoup her money.

[siligut]

11. This

:thumbsup: She gets what she paid for. End of discussion.

[LibDemAlways]

12. Daughter attempted to give her the ticket while in line

at the concert. It dropped to the ground. Don't know what happened to it after that. She still wants her money back.

[suninvited]

13. ten bucks says she picked the ticket up

after your daughter walked away. No way would she just leave it there.

[siligut]

14. This kid is in the wrong in the nastiest way.

Do not reward this behavior. She has treated your daughter poorly and now she is making demands. Nope, don't give her anything.

[orleans]

33. the ticket got dropped? was it assigned seats?

i'd bet the brat either took it and used it or they sold it to someone else in line. either way, i figure she already got her money back.

if she bugs your kid about it then call her parents and tell them your daughter gave her the ticket and it's not your problem that their brat dropped it or whatever she did.

[LibDemAlways]

34. It was general admission, and the concert wasn't sold out. She

might have been able to sell it for less than face value. Don't know.

My daughter is sticking to her guns. No refund.

[DebJ]

16. What this girl needs is to NOT get her $25 back, and to think

about why.

[petronius]

17. OK, first you create a fake profile on Facbook and friend this girl, then...

OK, just kidding. My feeling is that you owe her absolutely nothing, but I would leave it up to your daughter - any annoyance will come to her at school. However, knowing how atrocious kids can be when they start a vendetta, I would make very clear to your daughter that you're willing to just give the $25 to avoid future irritation...

[Demoiselle]

18. I'm with your daughter on this one.

Ooooh how I hate it when young people mistreat each other this way. Your daughter will be fine, and she's perfectly correct to feel betrayed. I'm not so sure about her "friend." Suddenly turning her back on someone who trusted her (with a GROUP, no less) is really shitty, and a terrible pattern to set in life. I find it astonishing that
the "friend" got all tearful and saw herself as the injured party. There are all kinds of studies these days that insist that many adolescents really aren't playing with a full set of judgement marbles.
On the other hand...you're right to want to stop the nasties. I guess I'd hold out unless she dragoons her parents into the argument. If that happened, I guess I'd give them the money but let them know in detail (with no anger, of course,) about what happened. Express mystification..."But we GAVE her the ticket at the event!) " stuff.
Now I will go ram my fist into a wall. As I said...I hate this kind of stuff.

[LibDemAlways]

20. I am a substitute teacher and occasionally have to work

with the girl's mother, who is an aide at a local school. That's one reason why I'd just rather give her the $$ and be done with it.

You are right about kids being rotten toward each other. They will turn on each other on a dime and for no apparent reason. My daughter was just devastated by this, but I pointed out it's an important lesson. Some people simply cannot be trusted. Be wary.

[elleng]

23. Sorry you;'ve had to deal with teenage girls in this,

and be wary in the future: doesn't disappear after age 19. (2 daughters, 22 and 25.)

[Demoiselle]

25. Oh, wow. That does change things.

You know your world. I'm sure you'll handle it exactly right. Hugs to your daughter.

[rug]

21. Don't cry

Don't raise your eye
It's only teenage wasteland

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SH60OQN8Lzc

[Curmudgeoness]

22. Your daughter is the one who has to deal with this ex-friend,

so stick with what she wants to do. Your daughter is right, you owe her nothing. And if your daughter wants to change her mind and just give the money to her, stand by what she wants. And if the parents do get involved, tell them that this girl was given the ticket. End of discussion.

God, I hate adolescents. This is normal behavior, on-again off-again friendships with evilness in between.

[Supply Side Jesus]

24. She stated she didn't want or need the ticket

so, you are in the clear.

if you haven't advised the mother what had occurred. Hopefully she'll understand and act appropriately.

[applegrove]

27. Give the idiot the money and be done with her. Don't let any bullshit come

between your daughter and her ability to grieve lost relationships. You want the 'friend' as far away from her as possible. Your daughter needs to cry/be sad and hit acceptance and a new normal and realize there are more fish in the sea. That is all that matters.

[BlueJazz]

29. I'd give her $12.50

My daughter never told her she was not getting her ticket.

The girl left a tearful message on my answering machine while I was out, and I responded as soon as I received it telling her not to worry, that I would collect her ticket and get it to her well before showtime. I asked her to respond to my message, but she never called or texted back. My daughter attempted to get in touch with her several

[Joe Fields]

30. Are you kidding me?

If I was your daughter, I would be done with the "friend" who left her in a lurch to go with other friends. You owe the kid nothing.

[TorchTheWitch]

31. Don't reward this crap behavior by giving the money back

You don't owe her a single dime. She needs to learn that bad behavior costs, and by giving her the money she doesn't deserve will only teach her that her bad behavior gets what she wants.

[denbot]

32. You held up your end of the bargain. Do not reward her for breaking her agreement.

Why should you eat the cost of a ticket she asked for? Since you work with her mom, tell her what went on, and do not apologize for doing what was agreed on.

[WildEyedLiberal]

35. $25 is well worth having this manipulative little flake out of your daughter's life

Trust me, 25 bucks is a bargain to be rid of this "friend."

ETA: but if your daughter is the one who is adamant about refusing the refund, then maybe it's not such a bad idea to listen to her. She's the one who has to deal with the nasty girl, so she really gets the final say here, especially since she's on the side of not costing you money. The nasty girl really ought to learn that she can't jerk people around and get rewarded for it - there are consequences for shitty behavior.

So, I suppose if it becomes a huge issue, give her back the money and tell your daughter something to the effect of what I said in the subject line, but otherwise, I think your daughter has a damn good point.