Man arrested after ejaculating during TSA pat-down

[Seedersandleechers]

A 47 year old gay man was arrested at San Francisco International Airport after ejaculating while being patted down by a male TSA agent. Percy Cummings, an interior designer from San Francisco, is being held without bail after the alleged incident, charged with sexually assaulting a Federal agent.


According to Cummings’ partner, Sergio Armani, Cummings has “multiple piercings on his manhood” which were detected during a full body scan. As a result, Cummings was pulled aside for a pat-down. Armani stated that the unidentified TSA agent spent “an inordinate amount of time groping” Cummings, who had apparently become sexually aroused. Cummings, who has a history of sexual dysfunction, ejaculated while the TSA agent’s hand was feeling the piercings. The TSA agent, according to several witnesses, promptly called for back up. Cummings was thrown to the ground and handcuffed.



http://www.deadseriousnews.com/?p=573


And the man's name was Cummings? This is not the onion. This is fucked-up....

[Iggo]

1. Percy Cummings? The interior designer? From San Francisco?

I call bullshit.

[Bunny]

3. Really.

How many stereotypes can be crammed into one paragraph? :eyes:

[dembotoz]

2. arrested for what

[KamaAina]

4. Already bounced from GD last night

There are other satire sites besides The Onion, y'know. I mean, please, "Sergio Armani"?

[rcrush]

5. Derp Derp?

[Heidi]

6. Dumbass, biased article. Why do they point out that he was "a gay man"?

I was a journalist for 25 year in the US and in all that time, never once in local or wire copy, ever saw a defendant referred to as a straight man (though most ARE straight men).

This article feeds the whole, bigoted "gays are pervs" mindset.

:loathe:

[Bunny]

7. I think it's supposed to be a spoof, but it's pretty messed up either way.

Satire is supposed to be funny, though, so this is a great big fail.

[Heidi]

10. HUGE fail.

HUGH!

[Downtown Hound]

8. The fact that his name is cummings should tip y'all off

It's a joke piece people.

[lillypaddle]

14. There's a Cumming, Georgia

although I don't think that has anything to do with the subject at hand. No pun intended. Nevermind.

[Courtesy Flush]

9. "It's not the Onion"

So that's how you vet stories? If it's not the Onion, it must be true?

Other headlines from the same site:

• Pfizer testing drug that prevents “morning wood”
  
  
• President Obama launches “Rhythm Project” to fight obesity among whites
  
  
• EPA issues warning on Dihydrogen Oxide
  
  
• NAAFA lobbies for Constitutional Amendment to extend special rights to fat people
  
  
• Democrats’ “Thank a baby killer” campaign targets pro-lifers
  
  
• Singapore to prosecute nose picking drivers

[rug]

11. What the hell did he expect backup to do, wipe him off?

[TK421]

17. Maybe they should have just given him a hand?

[MiddleFingerMom]

12. Curses!!!! My secret identity... exposed by the media.

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[snooper2]

13. people will believe anything..

:rofl:

Time to go for a few laughs in the dungeon after this :)

[snagglepuss]

15. Brilliantly funny.

:rofl:

[LostInAnomie]

16. Damn! Through the pants even! Maybe that TSA agent missed his true calling.

[MiddleFingerMom]

18. A worker who's capable of fixing ANY problem?

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A handyman.
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Who can take a sunrise,
Sprinkle it with dew?
Cover it in chocolate and a miracle or two
The handyman, the handyman can,
The handyman can 'cause he mixes it with love
and makes the world taste good

Who can take a rainbow,
Wrap it in a sigh?
Soak it in the sun and make the stra'bry lemon pie
The handyman? The handyman can
The handyman can 'cause he mixes it with love
and makes the world taste good

The handyman makes
everything he bakes
Satisfying and delicious.
Talk about your childhood wishes.
You can even eat the dishes!

Who can take tomorrow,
Dip it in a dream?
Separate the sorrow and collect up all the cream,
The handyman? The handyman can, the handyman can
The handyman can 'cause he mixes it with love
and makes the world taste good
And the world tastes good
'cause the handyman thinks it should
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[TK421]

19. Talk about a loose cannon! Even I couldn't do that with a TSA agent patting me down!

mad, MAD-ass props to this guy just for making this agent uncomfortable!!