When Good Songs Go Bad: Lyrical Trainwrecks in Great Songs

[Fenris]

I mentioned in the Roger Water's thread that I feel embarrassed every time I hear "Wish You Were Here" because of the line "We're two lost souls living in a fish bowl." I can't quite put my finger on why I get red in the face when I hear it, I just think that line (and the rhyme it contains) is kind of lame. And I really love that song.

Another nomination would be the absolute historical abomination contained in "Cortes the Killer": "Hate was just a legend/War was never known." The song is about Hernan Cortes' conquest of the Aztecs in Mexico. Anyone with a basic knowledge of Latin American history would know that the Aztecs knew violence and warfare quite well. In fact, the Spaniards defeated the Aztecs by forming alliances with other Mexican tribes that had been conquered by the Aztecs and made vassal states. You can't really say Mexico under the Aztecs was the paradise the song made it out to be. In fact, things like tamales filled with human flesh, priests wearing human skin, and a heap o' human sacrifices would suggest otherwise. Nevertheless, I love the song. I just turn it down when that part comes on.

So what other disastrous lyrics can you think of?

[meatloaf]

1. Dirty Laundry.

Love the sound hate the lyrics.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

2. Here are the worst lyrics ever (terrible song too)

Saying I love you
Is not the words I want to hear from you
It's not that I want you
Not to say, but if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
Cos I'd already know
What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you
More than words
Now I've tried to talk to you and make you understand
All you have to do is close your eyes
And just reach out your hands and touch me
Hold me close don't ever let me go
More than words is all I ever needed you to show
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
Cos I'd already know
What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you
More than words

[Debi]

5. Damn...

Now I have to pitch my 'Rock Ballads' CD

[Wickerman]

3. Sugar Mountain

"Now you're underneath the stairs
And you're givin' back some glares".

"And the candy floss you had
And your mother and your dad"

Nice stream of consciousness, but geez.

I love Neil. Seriously. Lifelong. But, the man has written a trillion songs. Most great. Some fo the great ones have some clunker lines. This is one. So is the Cortez thing.


edited to look up the lyrics and do them right.

[asthmaticeog]

4. A couple:

AC/DC: "Let me cut your cake with my knife" from "Let Me Put My Love Into You"

and

The Cars: "Let me brush your rock and roll hair" from "Let the Good Times Roll."

Have any clumsier and dumber sexual metaphors ever been contrived?

[BOSSHOG]

6. Spread your wings and let me come inside

Courtesy of Rod Stewart

And a Buck Owens classic from the 60's

"I've got the hungries for your love and I'm waiting in your welfare line."

[Wickerman]

7. Ted Nugent comes to mind

My face is a Masseratti? Open up the garage... or whatever that cheesy crap was.

[asthmaticeog]

8. True, and of course

just about all of "Cat Scratch Fever" qualifies... oy vey.

[Westegg]

14. "Wang-dang, sweet poon-tang? Them's poetry, right there!

[Tempest]

9. The words were autobiographical

"We're just two lost souls living in a fish bowl, year after year."

During the making of "Wish You Were Here", Roger Waters and David Gilmour were having personal and artistic differences. There was extreme tensions between the two, and the added distraction of Syd Barrett's lawsuit against Pink Floyd, made the production of the album almost impossible.

Waters was expressing how he and Gilmour were not able to deal with the tensions because they were such public figures.

**********
On Edit:
I should have said they were not able to resolved their differences because of the publicity of the band.
**********

As it turns out, "Wish You Were Here" marked the beginning of the end of Pink Floyd, at least with the original members.

[AntiCoup2K4]

10. For the ultimate in shitty lyric writing, look no further than.....

Sammy the "Ched Rocker" Hagar. Here's a putrid example:

Some say money is bad for the soul
Bad for the rock, bad for the roll
Bad for the heart, bad for the brain
Bad for damn near everything, oh yeah!

Oh. Hey, it must be good for somethin'
Come on, pay the rent
(Yes)

Telephone, telefax, telefuckin' teletrash
Tell a cop, tell a friend, think we hit the stoney end
Nothin' left, nothin' right, now they want a bigger bite
Everybody wants some, everybody wants big money. Oh yeah!
They want big fat money
That's what I want, big fat money

Too much temptation, 'nuff to kill a generation
Space station, starvation, premature ejaculation
This ain't groovy, this ain't funky
It's on my back but it ain't my monkey, no! Oh yeah
Gimme some o' that big, big money
That's what I want, big fat money. Yo!
Big, big money!

(Guitar Solo)

Ow! Smoke this, eat that, my old lady's gettin' fat
High rise, high rent, before it's earned it's all been spent
Where's it gonna come from? Who's it gonna go to?
I ain't beatin', but I'm bein' eaten by money. Oh yeah
Big big money. Woo!
Now gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme!
Some o' that big money. Oh yeah
That's what I want

Well all right (Big Money) Oh, big big money (Big Money)
Now gimme, gimme, gimme (Big money) some o' that big money (Money). Woo!
That's what I want
It's all I need
Gimme big fat money
Yeah, I gotta wallet full
Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme!
Grab me some a-that big fat money

BTW, not only is he a cheese peddling tequila salesman who ruined Van Halen, but he's also a Repuke! Contributed $2000 to Junior's campaign :puke:

[girl gone mad]

11. I'm never eating..

tamales again!

[Plaid Adder]

12. Just about all of "Blinded By The Light"

I love the song, but as far as what the words mean...WTF?

C ya,

The Plaid Adder

[AntiCoup2K4]

16. Never really looked at them, but..... oh why the hell not.

BLINDED BY THE LIGHT

Madman drummers bummers and Indians in the summer with a teenage diplomat
In the dumps with the mumps as the adolescent pumps his way into his hat
With a boulder on my shoulder feelin' kinda older I tripped the merry-go-round
With this very unpleasing sneezing and wheezing the calliope crashed to the ground
Some all-hot half-shot was headin' for the hot spot snappin' his fingers clappin' his hands
And some fleshpot mascot was tied into a lover's knot with a whatnot in her hand
And now young Scott with a slingshot finally found a tender spot and throws his lover in the sand
And some bloodshot forget-me-not whispers daddy's within earshot save the buckshot turn up the band

And she was blinded by the light
Cut loose like a deuce another runner in the night
Blinded by the light
She got down but she never got tight, but she'll make it alright

Some brimstone baritone anti-cyclone rolling stone preacher from the east
He says: "Dethrone the dictaphone, hit it in its funny bone, that's where they expect it least"
And some new-mown chaperone was standin' in the corner all alone watchin' the young girls dance
And some fresh-sown moonstone was messin' with his frozen zone to remind him of the feeling of romance

Yeah he was blinded by the light
Cut loose like a deuce another runner in the night
Blinded by the light
He got down but she never got tight, but he's gonna make it tonight

Some silicone sister with her manager's mister told me I got what it takes
She said I'll turn you on sonny, to something strong if you play that song with the funky break,
And go-cart Mozart was checkin' out the weather chart to see if it was safe to go outside
And little Early-Pearly came in by her curly-wurly and asked me if I needed a ride,
Oh, some hazard from Harvard was skunked on beer playin' backyard bombardier
Yes and Scotland Yard was trying hard, they sent a dude with a calling card,
he said, do what you like, but don't do it here
Well I jumped up, turnedaround, spit in the air, fell on the ground
Asked him which was the way back home
He said take a right at the light, keep goin' straight until night, and then boy, you're on your own

And now in Zanzibar a shootin' star was ridin' in a side car hummin' a lunar tune
Yes, and the avatar said blow the bar but first remove the cookie jar we're gonna teach those boys to laugh too soon

And some kidnapped handicap was complainin' that he caught the clap from some mousetrap he bought last night,

Well I unsnapped his skull cap and between his ears I saw
a gap but figured he'd be all right

He was just blinded by the light
Cut loose like a deuce another runner in the night
Blinded by the light
Mama always told me not to look into the sights of the sun
Oh but mama that's where the fun is

My analysis - The Boss was taking his designated role as "the New Bob Dylan" a little too seriously :)

[Plaid Adder]

22. Yes, this was my friend Jay's analysis

And Jay is my source of authority for all things relating to the Church of the Boss. It sure sounds like Dylan, what with all the internal rhymes and the meaninglessness. It don't work cause the vandals took the handle.

C ya,

The Plaid Adder

[Tempest]

17. According to The Boss...

I saw an interview many, many years ago and Bruce was asked about the song.

He said he wrote it after spending a three day holiday weekend hanging out in Ashbury Park.

The song represents the things he saw and experienced over the course of the weekend.

Apparently he hadn't slept for three days and never left the park. He was in a rush to finish Greetings From Ashbury Park and in a sleep deprived state, the song was written.

[rucky]

13. ...so you can take that cookie?!

lmp bskt

[Screaming Lord Byron]

15. "Hot Dog, jumping frog, Albequerque"

Really bad lyrics to a really good song. Anyone know the song?

[Fenris]

19. The King of Rock & Roll

[Screaming Lord Byron]

25. Fine figure fine cut a fine figure fine oh yeah!

I mean, really.

[Whitacre D_WI]

18. Nearly every Doors song ever.

Into this house we're born,
Into this world we're thrown.
Riders on the storm.
Not bad, I kinda like the groove we're getting into here.

Like a dog without a bone,
An actor out on loan...
Huh? Whatever, I'll give it another chance.

There's a killer on the road,
His brain is squirming like a toad.
WHAT THE FUCK? Shit, I'm turning this off.

[Fenris]

21. Progressive intoxication I suspect would be the culprit

Into this house we're born,
Into this world we're thrown.
Riders on the storm.

"Damn, Ray, this is good. Say, what's that you're drinking? Pass it over here!"

Like a dog without a bone,
An actor out on loan...

"I am on FIRE tonight! Hey, Robby, what was that pill you just took? Got any to share?"

There's a killer on the road,
His brain is squirming like a toad.

"JESUS RAY, YOU'RE HANDS ARE GIANT FUCKING MALLETS AND YOU'VE GOT A SNAKE'S HEAD!"

(passes out)

[Blayde Starrfyre]

20. Any song by Sting

The Police were great, but Sting wrote awful lyrics. Particularly, I'm thinking of the "Nabokov" line in "Don't Stand so Close to Me."

[grannylib]

24. Hmm, now I have always thought Sting was a very clever lyricist, and I

thought that line was brilliant *lol*

[AntiCoup2K4]

26. Yeah, the first few times I heard that , I thought Sting was clucking like

...a chicken!

Sounded like "buck buck buck bucaw!!" when it was "book by Nabokov".

Even so, it sounded better than the way he did it in the 86 (waste of time) remake.

[Bertha Venation]

23. "Sometimes When We Touch"

sometimes when we touch the honesty's too much :wtf:

I'm just another still trapped within my youth
a hesitant prize fighter still trapped within my truth :wtf: :wtf:

Someone was trying way damn too hard.

[Fenris]

27. What in the Hell does that mean?

:shrug:

[Bertha Venation]

30. my point exactly!

:)

[Zorra]

28. Sex Pistols: "C'mon, Everybody"

The Amboy Dukes, w/Ted Nugent, did a song called "Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?" which is actually worse than this one.
C´MON EVERYBODY (Cape-Hart-Cochrane)
Well c´mon everybody and let´s get together tonight
I got some money in my jeans
And I´m really gonna spend it right
Well I´ve been doin´ my homework all week long
Now to have some fifty and my folk are gone
Ooh! C´mon everybody

Oh well, my baby´s number one
But I´m gonna dance with three or four
And the house will be shakin´ from the bare feet
A-stampin´ on the floor

Well when you here the music, you can´t still
If your brother won´t rock, your sister will
Ooh! C´mon everybody

Oh well, we really haven´t money
But we gotta put a guard outside
If the folks come home
I´m afraid, they´re gonna have my hide
There´d be no more movies for a week or two
No more runnin´ ´round with the usual crew-who cares?
C´mon everybody

[robertpaulsen]

29. "Apples, peaches, pumpkin pie..."

I'll stop there.