God damn, stupid motherf*cking printer!

[curse10]

Damn piece of shit. It has NEVER worked correctly. I can print a test page and do all that bullshit, but actually have it print mapquest directions? It rarely responds! And if it does, all I get is a damn blank sheet!

I'm at a complete loss. I would very much like to throw the damn thing out the window. But my hands are too cramped because I just spent a half hour writing to and from directions so I can actually get somewhere in Cambridge.

ARGH!!!

:argh: :argh: :argh: :argh: :argh: :argh: :argh: :argh: :argh: :argh: :argh: :argh: :argh: :argh: :argh: :argh: :argh: :argh: :argh: :argh: :argh: :argh: :argh: :argh: :argh: :argh: :argh: :argh: :argh: :argh: :argh: :argh: :argh: :argh: :argh: :argh: :argh: :argh: :argh: :argh: :argh: :argh: :argh: :argh: :argh: :argh: :argh: :argh:

[CogitoErgoDem]

1. Now now Samir....

Samir: No, not again! I...why does it say paper jam when there is no paper jam? I swear to God, one of these days, I just kick this piece of shit out the window!
Michael Bolton: You and me both, man. That thing is lucky I'm not armed.
Samir: Piece of shit!


I sympathize, curse10, I really do. But I just saw "Office Space" again last weekend.

[FlashHarry]

2. Oh, I thought you were talking about a person!

Some guy in a green eyeshade and sleeve garters, placing type into a press. Whew!

[LibInternationalist]

3. sucks, don't it

I hate my printer too -- paper won't load, prints out of focus -- bleh

[TrogL]

4. Now settle down

Turn off the printer. This may take a few tries as it may think you're kidding or something. On the bottom right corner of the screen there may be a printer icon. Go into it and cancel all your print jobs.

Take a deep breath and relax.

Turn the printer on and wait for it to stop banging and thumping. It may display a bunch of flashing lights. If so, press the paper icon (probably the middle one) and wait until it finished spitting out paper. Turn it off (see above). REpeat until it stops spitting out paper.

Turn the printer back on.

Now print a test page from your computer. It should work fine. Now print from your application.

If this fails, take a sledgehammer to everything.