Conservapedia's list of the greatest "conservative" songs - ha ha ha ha ha!!!

[Initech]

Like I'm sure Joe Strummer would approve of "I Fought The Law" as a conservative song. :eyes:

http://www.conservapedia.com/Essay:Greatest_Conservative_Songs

[NuclearDem]

1. And if conservapedia really knew the history between Lynyrd Skynyrd and Neil Young...

And if they really understood John Denver as the environmentalist hippie he was...

Also funny how they mention a song for "opposing hippie culture" and not 15 songs away, they name a Bob Dylan song. God, irony is LOST on these people.

Oh, and for God's sake, "Cat's in the Cradle" is a song about responsible fatherhood?!



You know, one day, I'm just WAITING for someone to announce that Conservapedia's just been a joke all along. Because to believe that there are people this stupid in the real world just makes me sad.

[wickerwoman]

2. Wow...

Tracy Chapman's "Fast Car" is sure a conservative anthem... if you're incapable of detecting tone of voice or following a sentence more than six words long.

"You still ain't got a job
And I work in a market as a checkout girl
I know things will get better
You'll find work and I'll get promoted
We'll move out of the shelter
Buy a big house and live in the suburbs
You got a fast car
And I got a job that pays all our bills
You stay out drinking late at the bar
See more of your friends than you do of your kids
I'd always hoped for better
Thought maybe together you and me would find it
I got no plans I ain't going nowhere"

And "Amazing Grace" was written by the ex-captain of a slaving ship who had a revelation during a storm that black people were God's children too and immediately became an abolitionist... not sure what he'd make of today's conservatives.

[RandomThoughts]

5. that is one of my favorite songs.

I think it tells a story of someone getting home. I don't think of it the same way as many others might.

[TommyO]

6. I think somebody has misinterpreted "Fast Car", the second song on her debut album

What's even more interesting is that they somehow missed the first track on the album, "Talkin' Bout a Revolution"

Don't you know you're talking about a revolution
It sounds like a whisper
Don't you know they're talking about a revolution
It sounds like a whisper

While they're standing in the welfare lines
Crying at the doorsteps of those armies of salvation
Wasting time in unemployment lines
Sitting around waiting for a promotion

Don't you know you're talking about a revolution
It sounds like a whisper

Poor people are gonna rise up
And get their share
Poor people are gonna rise up
And take what's theirs

Don't you know you better run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run
Oh I said you better run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run

[Bucky]

54. Despite the "revolution sounds like a whisper" line, it's not really political at all

It's about how we live on past our broken dreams & unrealized ideals. It's a song for grown ups, so not for conservatives.

[BoWanZi]

41. God, how I hated Fast Car when it was popular.

Ugh, that song was like nails on a chalk board to me. Same with anything by Bob Dylan. Their voices just bother my ears so much. I don't listen to music for content, I listen for melody and musical tone.

[wickerwoman]

3. LOL! "Staying Alive, by the Bee Gees. Pro-people and pro-staying alive"

:D

[Pool Hall Ace]

14. Since when are conservatives all about people and life?

:rofl:

[LeftishBrit]

50. Umm, the people trying to stay alive in that song were ALREADY born!

So I don't think it reflects conservative values. Do conservatives seriously think that liberals/left-wingers don't want to stay alive?

[Lucian]

4. Pro-capitalism songs?

Seriously?

The stupidity of that website makes my brain hurt. I weep for America.

[kentauros]

19. They included Oingo Boingo's "Capitalism" as "pro-capitalism".

Okay, we knew they were irony-impaired, so I think we can safely say they are also satire-impaired ;)

I'm surprised they didn't pick Ain't This the Life instead. Well, except for that little bit of French in there. We know how they are about furners.

[Pool Hall Ace]

7. "You Light Up My Life" is about Jesus?

I'm not so sure about that. Debby Boone may have dedicated the song to Jesus, but the writer of the tune, Joseph Brooks, is Jewish.

[GoCubsGo]

8. "Sympathy for the Devil"...LOL!!!

Don't they realize that song is really about them?

[Initech]

15. Yeah that was the one that made me think "is this for real?".

[rug]

9. "52. Virtually anything by Toby Keith"

[Archae]

13. Um...including this one?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xm34ZLlIvQg

[hobbit709]

28. a classic!

[begin_within]

21. Do they realize Toby Keith is a Democrat?

He stated that in one interview I read.

[NoGOPZone]

10. Since they're Grank Funk fans, maybe I should suggest this song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IDPsRca6Qt4

Hey all you people, for goodness sake,
Let's get together, what does it take,
To make you understand the value of a man?
I'm talkin' about your son and neighbor, yes I am. Oh ...

CHORUS
People let's stop the war.
People let's stop the war.
People let's stop the war.
People let's stop the war.

If we had a president, that did just what he said,
The country would be just alright, and no one would be dead,
From fighting in a war, that causes big men to get rich.
There's money in them war machines, now ain't this a bitch? Oh ...

CHORUS

I been excited, ain't nobody ready.
They don't know what to get ready for.
Let's get ready and stop the war.

Ooo ... excited, ain't nobody ready.
They don't know what to get ready for.
Let's get ready and stop the war.

I been excited, ain't nobody ready.
They don't know what to get ready for.
Let's get ready and stop the war.

Ooo ... excited, ain't nobody ready.
They don't know what to get ready for.
Let's get ready and stop the war.

[greendog]

11. 63. "Sin City" by the Flying Burrito Brothers

The last verse is about Robert Kennedy

A friend came around
Tried to clean up this town
His ideas made some people mad
But he trusted his crowd
So he spoke right out loud
And they lost the best friend they had

Chris Hillman talks about writing this song with Gram Parsons:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AcEjCnMlxfY
(44 minutes in)

[marmar]

12. More proof that conservatives don't "get" the arts.

nt

[Initech]

16. Nope, they really don't.

[struggle4progress]

17. LOL! William Blake's text Jerusalem, with its reference to the peculiar

English folk-story that Jesus the Nazarene visited England, its Luddite complaint against the Industrial Revolution, and its utopian cry to take up arms to build Jerusalem anew in England. Blake, who scandalized everyone! whose executors destroyed most of his plates, so that no one could be offended by his sexual notions! A poem that would best be read as a call to revolution -- except that after a century of neglect it was suddenly put to use to support the war effort in 1916

And did those feet, in ancient time, walk upon Englands mountains green.
And was the holy Lamb of God on England's pleasant pastures seen!

And did the Countenance Divine shine forth upon our clouded hills?
And was Jerusalem builded here among these dark Satanic Mills?

Bring me my Bow of burning gold. Bring me my Arrows of desire.
Bring me my Spear: O clouds unfold! Bring me my Chariot of fire!

I will not cease from Mental Fight, nor shall my Sword sleep in my hand,
Till we have built Jerusalem in England's green & pleasant Land

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKaJ4b0XYmI

[struggle4progress]

18. LOL! Armstrong's Go down, Moses! A song that remembers a very ancient story

of a slave revolt, the song itself the product of slaves in the American South, reworked as jazz, that Jim Crow era innovation!

Nothing here is conservative: the ancient tale rebels against the status quo, the spiritual rebels against American slavery and threatens violent revolt against the ruling class ("Thus spoke the Lord," bold Moses said: "Let my people go! If not I'll smite, your firstborns dead! ), Armstrong's confident jazz rebels against the more plaintive traditional tune

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SP5EfwBWgg0

[Bucky]

55. Maybe they just like that one line in the song

"I will not cease from Mental Fight"

[dawg]

20. You know what really pisses me off ...

Those idiots think that any song that is pro-marriage or pro-God or pro-country is "conservative". Morons.

Where's your hit songs about lowering the capital gains tax? The ones that glorify greed? (Well, Rush might have written one or two of those way back when, before Neil saw the light.)

Many, if not most, of those songs were written by honest-to-god liberals. Are they so stupid they don't realize that? Some of those choices ..... just ......damn!



BTW, it's obvious that whoever made that list is a prog fan. Well, good for him for that. But the bizarre attempts to interpret a song like "No Son of Mine" by Genesis as a conservative anthem just boggles the mine. What's conservative about it? The abusive home situation?... the singers decision to leave? .... or the asshole father's refusal to be open to an attempted reconciliation years down the road? Come to think of it, maybe it does define conservatism.

I'm with the other poster. Are we sure conservapedia isn't satire?

[Initech]

23. True conservative rock is Ted Nugent.

That whole thing fails big time.

[Systematic Chaos]

33. Neil Peart has always had a leftist slant to his lyrics.

He took the "personal freedom" aspect of Rand's philosophy to heart, and pretty much ignored the whole "screw you, I got mine" aspect of it.

The band has also clarified this position in interviews.

[eyepaddle]

47. Yeah the fact that two Yes songs made the list shocked me.

Plus, there's the obvious question--how the hell can anybody tell what a Yes song is about?!?!?

[cherish44]

22. they forgot "The Homecoming Queen Has A Gun" by Julie Brown

nt

[Rabrrrrrr]

24. Heard a pundit on the radio a few days ago say that conservatives are not comfortable with language.

That liberals are perfectly comfortable.

he said that in response to a caller asking why the Republicans all seem to have the same talking points and tend to work together so much better than Democrats, who usually DON'T use the same talking points and aren't good at naming things using the same name amongst all of them.

And this list of songs just proves ever more so that, yes, conservatives really don't "get" language, especially poetic language.

And as another poster said up above, they don't get the arts at all.

Ever listen to a conservative comedian? They're awful and not funny. And not because of the material - it's because they don't how to construct a joke or a thought in a thoughtful, funny, or interesting way.

[cherish44]

25. The Clash were Marxists

I read that somewhere :p

[Bucky]

53. More anarchyish than doctrinaire commies. But their critiques of capitalist society were the same.

Silly list, tho not really a bad selection of songs.

[Rabrrrrrr]

26. "You can't hurry love" is about abstinence? "You Light Up My Life" about Jesus?

Sure, debbie Boone offered that it was a religious song to her, but the dude that wrote it wrote it as a love song.

Fucking conservatives. They're so goddamn dumb.

[Initech]

29. No wonder they hate the arts - they don't understand any of it!

:rofl:

[hfojvt]

43. "Big money" is pro-capitalist? "Taking care of business" is about hard work?

Maybe I was mis-hearing it, and it IS Rush, after all, but I thought the key line was "big money's got no soul".

"Taking care of Business" is about people who "love to work at nothing all day" and "it's the work that we avoid ..." I suppose conservative trust fund babies can relate to that.

[gmoney]

27. On a related musical note, I find it funny how so much of the bumper music

on right wing radio is from liberals or even liberal songs. Most famously, the Pretenders "My City Was Gone" having been co-opted by Rush Limbaugh, much to the chagrin of Chrissy Hynde.

The irony is, I think they "loop" short segments of these songs and avoid paying royalties because of some loophole in the broadcast license laws.

[UTUSN]

56. However, what bothers me is that The Pretenders could have STOPPED limbo from using it.

LIMOsevic said Crissie or whomever didn't object to his using it because her parents listen to him.

[cemaphonic]

30. Ah, there's Taxman - it always shows up on these lists.

Thing is, the "1 for you, 19 for me" line wasn't hyperbole. They really were paying almost all of their income in taxes - That's what started them down the road to losing control of their song catalog. Anyone would complain about that.

[Systematic Chaos]

31. "Big Money" by Rush, PRO-Capitalism????

Big money, draw the flies....

Big money, got no soul!

Two of the more memorable lines from that song.

Stupid wankers don't even know what kind of song they're listening to.

:rofl:

[Initech]

39. I'm sure they also think Pink Floyd's "Money" is pro-capitalism.

:eyes:

[rurallib]

32. I'll be darned. I always thought "wouldn't it be nice" was about

living together. I guess it does mention marriage at the end.
"Fast Car" is about christian values? 'Spose the guy ever listened to it?
One of my all time favorite songs.

[KamaAina]

34. What? No "Born in the U.S.A." or "Rockin' In The Free World"?

:sarcasm:

[CBGLuthier]

35. You Light up My Life was NOT about Jesus

Just because the third person to record it claimed so does not make it true. It's a love song. About people. No deities needed.

[EastTennesseeDem]

36. I am actually very thankful for that list

Without it, I wouldn't have ever Googled 'Lynyrd Skynyrd God and Guns' and found it on Youtube.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ql49eLRRJ_E

My suite mates and I listened to it and fell on the floor laughing.

"GAWD AND GUUUUUUUUNS KEEP US STRAAWWWWWWWWNG, THAT'S WHAT THIS COUUUUUUUUUNTRY WAS FOOOOUUUUUNDED AWN!!!!"

[GoneOffShore]

37. Thanks for looking - I won't give them hits.

[Name removed]

38. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

40. Phil Och's "Love Me, I'm a Liberal" was a critique from a LEFT point of view

I never interpreted "You Can't Hurry Love" as being about sexual abstinence. I always thought it was about a mother telling her daughter that she shouldn't be desperate to find a boyfriend, that one will come along eventually. (They didn't list "Love Child," which IS about sexual abstinence.)

Also, "Jerusalem" is an ENGLISH patriotic song, based on a poem by the 19th century mystical poet William Blake. (I clicked on the link they gave, and it led to a video of the audience singing it at the Last Night of the Proms in London.)

Kind of an ignorant list, although they did not fall into the trap of listing Springsteen's "Born in the USA" as a conservative song.

[chollybocker]

42. What, no "Strange Fruit"?

You'd think they'd be salivating over that snappy tune.

[jobycom]

44. They missed the point of "Sweet Home Alabama," but someone must have explained "Okee from Muskogee"

to them, at least, since it doesn't seem to be there.

I remember a time, barely, when "conservative" wasn't synonymous with "Dumber than fuck and proud of it." I never agreed with William F Buckley or Barry Goldwater, but I doubt either one would think "Fast Cars" was about "self-help" and "free market."

[eyepaddle]

45. And isn't Gimme back my Bullets about getting their hit singles back?

As in "Number One with a Bullet."

You are much more of a Skynyrd expert than I am but it seems that I heard that tune was about recapturing career success and not firearms. I can't think of the lyrics to that one at all though, so I could be wrong....

[jobycom]

48. Not sure. I always thought of it as basically "Gimme back my mojo."

There's nothing about guns or shooting people. It's about getting back on top after being down, getting your edge back. Bullets seems like a metaphor, not literal. Skynyrd did "Gimme Three Steps" and "Saturday Night Special," so anyone trying to associate them with conservatives or especially guns has missed a few points. "Hand guns are made for killin', ain't no good for nothin' else," hardly sounds like something Charleston Heston would like.

Gimme back my bullets:

Life is so strange when its changin', yes indeed
Well I've seen the hard times and the pressure's been on me
But I keep on workin' like the workin' man do
And I've got my act together, gonna walk all over you


Gimme back my bullets
Put 'em back where they belong
Ain't foolin' around 'cause I done had my fun
Ain't gonna see no more damage done
Gimme back my bullets

Sweet talkin' people done ran me out of town
And I drank enough whiskey to float a battleship around
But I'm leavin' this game one step ahead of you
And you will not hear me cry 'cause I do not sing the blues


Gimme back my bullets
Put 'em back where they belong
Ain't foolin' around 'cause I done had my fun
Ain't gonna see no more damage done
Gimme back, gimme back my bullets
Oh, put 'em back... where they belong

Been up and down since I turned seventeen
Well I've been on top, and then it seems I lost my dream
But I got it back, I'm feelin' better everyday
Tell all those pencil pushers, better get out of my way


Gimme back my bullets
Put 'em back where they belong
Ain't foolin' around, 'cause I done had my fun
Ain't gonna see no more damage done
Gimme back, gimme back my bullets
Oh put 'em back where they belong
Gimme back my bullets

[LynneSin]

46. Do they know "Still the One" was done by a former US Representative who is a DEMOCRAT

:eyes:

[LeftishBrit]

49. Well, I suppose it could be quite a suitable song for Tom DeLay...

Some of the others are fairly bizarre. I am sure that William Blake, a radical especially on 'morality' issues, is revolving in his grave at practically the speed of light at being promoted as a conservative icon! And I have always assumed that 'Love Me I'm a Liberal' is a leftist satire on liberals not being radical or anti-establishment *enough*, rather than a conservative attack on liberal viewpoints.

[mvd]

51. What a stretch many of these are

"Wouldn't It Be Nice"?
"Goodbye, Yellow Brick Road"?
"Starting All Over Again"?
"Gotta Serve Somebody"
"Jesus Take The Wheel"? - that's not fundie; it's just asking for extra help in an emergency situation
"Back in the U.S.A."? - liking America =/= conservative

Those are just some of the stretches. Too many of these assume conservatism is pureness and happiness!

[EOTE]

52. BTO's "Takin' Care of Business"

For promoting self-employment.

"If you ever get annoyed, look at me I'm self-employed. Working hard at nothing everyday."

I'm really doing my damnedest not to bust out laughing while reading this.