may i date myself?

[datasuspect]

seriously, i find myself more interesting to me more than probably any person i have ever met.

i never met a mirror i didn't like.

i make myself laugh all the time.

i take long walks with myself.

and other things too.

[knowbody0]

1. myself and I are married

and happily for 10 years now.

[datasuspect]

2. people ain't nothing but trouble

[rug]

3. I just assumed you did routinely.

[datasuspect]

4. if by "date" you mean "spank"

then yes.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

20. I remember where I was the day Kennedy was shot... oops

did I just date myself ............

[kalli007]

5. Its so funny that you bring this up....

because I have been having the exact same thoughts! I was just telling by bff last night that I prefer being single, because I cant find anyone else who's company I enjoy more than mine!

[datasuspect]

6. people are too damn high maintenance

and they always end up costing you money.

screw that.

[thirtiesgirl]

7. Yup.

I date myself all the time. I'm the best conversationalist I know; I always know what I like; there are never any arguments about where we should go or what movie we should see; I never sleep on the wrong side of the bed; I'm always generous with the remote; and I'm so happy with myself in the bedroom, I think I'm going to buy myself a ring.

[BlueJazz]

15. I've have thoughts about marrying my hand.

[Lucian]

8. Yeah, but pleasuring yourself while burning scented candles isn't nearly as fun...

as it would be with a mate.

As one would think, of course.

[datasuspect]

9. not if you're not doing right

plus, you don't have to hear the other party running their mouth about wanting to go to IKEA or Poverty Barn tomorrow.

[theNotoriousP.I.G.]

10. Sure, you're quite a catch

would you mind taking my dog along? She would really spice things up between the two of you, and I mean you and you.

[thirtiesgirl]

14. I don't need to burn scented candles.

Just a little lube will do. And maybe a couple of puffs from a hand rolled... erm, cigarette.

[MiddleFingerMom]

11. Of COURSE you can...

.
.
.
...it's not like you'd be the first.
.
.
.
From the intro to Tom Wait's "Better Off Without a Wife"
from his "Nighthawks at the Diner" album:
.
Y'ask yourself out... some class joint somewhere...
the Burrito King or somethin'... well, I ain't cheap, y'know.
Take y'self out for a coupla drinks, maybe...
some provocative conversation on the way home.
Y'park in front of the house
Oh, yeah... you're smooth -- you put a little nice music on.
Maybe you put on like, uh like shopping music...
something that's not too interruptive.
Y'slide over real nice... 'Oh, I think you got somethin' in your eye."
Well, maybe it's not that romantic with you, but CHRIST...
I get into it -- take myself up to the porch... take myself inside...
oh maybe "I'll make you somethin' in a little brandy snifter.
Would you like t'listen to some of my back records?
I got somethin' here."
.
Well, usually about 2:30 in the mornin'
you've ended up takin' advantage of yourself.
There ain't no way around THAT.
Yeah, makin' the scene with a magazine.
There ain't no way around it.
I'll confess, I'm no diff'rent.
I'm not WEIRD about it or anything
I don't tie myself up first.
I just, you know...
I just spend a little time with myself.
.
.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fpcosIZOTLM&feature=related
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
.

[elleng]

12. I'm the only one who understands myself!

[Taverner]

13. Hey - at least Masturbation is with someone you love...

Thanks to Woody for that one

[rbnyc]

16. As Isaac Asimov wrote:

O give me a clone of my own flesh and bone,
With its Y chromosome changed to X.
And when it is grown, then my own little clone
Will be of the opposite sex.

Chorus:
Clone, clone of my own,
With its Y chromosome changed to X
And when I'm alone with my own little clone
We'll both think of nothing but sex.

O give me a clone, hear my sorrowful moan,
Just a clone that is wholly my own.
And if it's an X of the feminine sex,
Oh what fun we will have when we're prone.

(Chorus)

My heart's not of stone, as I've frequently shown
When alone with my dear little X
And after we've dined, I am sure we will find
Better incest than Oedipus Rex.

(Chorus)

Why should such sex vex, or disturb or perplex.
Or induce a disparaging tone?
After all, don't you see, since we're both of us me.
When we're making love, I'm alone.

(Chorus)

And after I'm done, she will still have her fun,
For I'll clone myself twice ere I die.
And this time without fail, they'll be both of them male,
And they'll each ravish her by-and-by.

[lillypaddle]

17. Well, I've let myself go ....

so I think I'll have to find someone else. I'm picky that way.

[In_The_Wind]

18. don't see why not

since the blond with the pick-up never got out your way

:hi:

[av8rdave]

19. A song for DataSuspect

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FG1NrQYXjLU

At least when you date yourself, you always date your favorite person!

:hi:

[old mark]

21. It is much cheaper that way, especially when you go out to dinner....nt

[MilesColtrane]

22. Do you fight with yourself just for the make up sex?