Centuries from now when alien anthropologists unearth thousands of 'Shakeweights,' what will they...

[Gidney N Cloyd]

...what will they think they were used for?

[bluedigger]

1. Self-sealing stem bolts.

[Chan790]

2. Masturbatory aids.

No lie, I picked the floor model up in Target and used it for 20 seconds. I now have some sensation what it would be like to sexually abuse a camel or other large male mammal. I set it down and bought a 25# dumbbell instead.

[redwitch]

5. You are so brave!

I couldn't have done that after watching the commercials let alone the South Park episode!

[Lucian]

3. From South Park:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0tVw8_CFMA

[sarge43]

4. Religious artifact. n/t

[Gidney N Cloyd]

6. The ...arr...arr...arrrrrgch!... of the covenant.

[sarge43]

7. The door stop of the Holies of Holies

A spoke from a chariot of fire

A reversible magic chalice - water (flip) wine "Ta Da"

A container for a mezuzah at a real big door

[Odin2005]

8. Religious idols!