What's the legality of this

[Very_Boring_Name]

I've got a thieving roommate, not sure who it is (I have 4 roommates). I no longer am able to keep any food in the fridge, because it dissapears within 24 hours. So I'm considering adding a special surprise to MY food, and leaving it in the fridge for the little asshole to steal. I'm thinking laxatives, or something that will make him violently ill. So if its my own (clearly marked as my own) food, and they steal it and eat it, can I be held responsible when they end up in the emergency room?

[suninvited]

1. leave a note on the fridge door

saying there IS a surprise in your food, but leaving the food untainted.

And I would say yes, you could be held responsible if someone became sick eating your food.

[Deep13]

2. Probably. It's assault.

And suppose you send him to the hospital or even kill him.

[elleng]

4. Assault/Battery

'Two separate offenses against the person that when used in one expression may be defined as any unlawful and unpermitted touching of another. Assault is an act that creates an apprehension in another of an imminent, harmful, or offensive contact. The act consists of a threat of harm accompanied by an apparent, present ability to carry out the threat. Battery is a harmful or offensive touching of another.'

Don't think proposed act would be 'assault.'

[Deep13]

11. In most states, statutory assault supercedes the Common Law...

...distinction between assault and battery. So threats, attempted battery and battery all become "assault" and the Common Law offense of mayhem becomes felonious assault.

[elleng]

3. Don't do the 'violently ill.' Too much risk, to both of you.

Laxatives, yes (imo.)

[Crazy Dave]

5. I've also heard of people having allergic reactions and suing for emergency room bills

If you want to pay a $1200 emergency room bill because your roommate thought they had food poisoning go for it.

[Lucian]

6. They gotta prove you did it with ill intent.

The food could have salmonella, which would explain the 'explosive' bowel movements. They'd have to prove that you put the laxative in there with the purpose of getting your roommate sick.

[Deep13]

13. Intent can be inferred from actions...

and juries are typically instructed that one may be presumed to intend the natural consequences of his actions. That assumes he is willing to incur the expense and stigma of a criminal trial which includes not only attorney fees, but bail, jail awaiting trial, possible loss of job and everything that goes along with that.

[Heidi]

17. The OP itself is evidence of malicious intent.

There are better ways of dealing with roomies, and ways involving less exposure to criminal and/or civil penalty, than poisoning one's roommate. They really wouldn't even have to get sick in some jurisdictions, as I understand it; they'd just have to show that th OP intended to cause harm. Bad, bad mojo.

[Lucian]

18. Yeah, but we don't know who the OP is.

Could be John Smith, Steve Buscemi, or Barack Obama for all we know. :shrug:

[Iggo]

7. Roommates steal food. Welcome to the world.

Poisoning people is way more illegal than fridge-pilfering.

[dr.strangelove]

8. Since this post is evidence of your intent

I would not do it. Good luck with the problem. I don't think trying to harm others is ever the best answer. They sell refrig lockers for this problem. They are basically plastic boxes that fit on a shelf and lock. They hold a few cans of soda, a half gallon milk sized container and some room for a few tupperwear style containers. Its not perfect, but maybe you need it. Its not a safe. Its plastic and can easily be broken, but if the roommates are willing to break into this, I would say you should leave and use small claims court to get your money back.

[Ptah]

9. Probably just as legal as

placing a flashbang disguised as a ham sandwich.

:thumbsdown:

[Gormy Cuss]

10. Do you talk to these roommates?

Sounds like time for a roommate meeting to remind someone of the ground rules on shared vs. private space and items.

If you and your roommates don't have ground rules and you want to continue living in this space, buy a cooler or a dorm fridge and put it in your room. That's the clearest way to indicate to the pilferer that the food isn't up for grabs. If the food keeps disappearing, time to find a new place to live.

[nyc 4 Biden]

12. visine.

[Ineeda]

15. Probably a very bad idea....

from Wikipedia:
Visine prank myth

A common urban legend is that a few drops of Visine in an unsuspecting victim's drink will cause a harmless bout of diarrhea. This will not produce diarrhea, but oral administration of Visine can induce dangerous side effects related to Visine's ingredient tetrahydrozoline hydrochloride such as:

* Dangerously low body temperature (hypothermia)
* Blurred vision
* Nausea and vomiting
* Difficulty in breathing or even a complete halt in breathing
* Elevating (hypertension) then dropping (hypotension) blood pressure
* Possible coma
* Seizures and tremors

Pfizer recommends that anyone ingesting Visine get medical attention or contact a poison control center immediately.[

[struggle4progress]

14. I just wouldn't do that if I were you.

[surrealAmerican]

16. Would you be able to live with yourself if you did this ...

... and your roommate did wind up in the emergency room?

Find a different solution. Even if this doesn't lead to legal troubles, your willingness to hurt somebody is a problem.

[Very_Boring_Name]

19. Yes. I'm not poisoning HIS food, I'm poisoning MY food

Not my fault if little thiefs decide to eat it.

[Iggo]

22. delete

[csziggy]

20. Don't put anything potentially harmful in the food - make it unpalatable

Maybe substitute salt for sugar in desserts and vice versa for meat and vegetables. A slug of vinegar or hot sauce in anything where it is not appropriate. Get a bottle of non sugar liquid sweetner like Stevia and overdose things not supposed to be sweet. Make it inedible.

If anybody makes a comment, you have choices - play innocent "No, it tasted fine to me!"; quizzical "How did you know my food tasted odd?"; or get righteously pissed "What the HELL were you doing tasting my food?!!!"

Figure out some inconspicuous way to keep track of which is doctored so once they get their dose you can safely eat what is left.

Another thought - don't put anything in it to harm or mess with the taste. Buy powdered food coloring and mix with the food. Since it takes very little of that stuff to dye anything, keep an eye on your roommates' mouths. Whoever shows up with lips the color of the dyed food is the culprit. Take it from there.

[Lars39]

21. Buy your own dorm fridge, put it in your side of yor bedroom,

Put a lock on it. You can probablyget one cheap on craigslist.

[Gold Metal Flake]

25. +1

Then put a deadbolt on the door. Make sure the window is secure. You are dealing with 4 young men? They steal your shit for fun. They steal each others shit for fun. But do something stupid like adulterate food and you might find your room trashed. You might find something in your shampoo. You might start having "car problems". You might find, sometime later, that someone ran a needle through your condoms. You might even be "invited" to a blanket party.

Roommates suck, especially young male roommates. The only cure is to work your way out into a sitch with a single roommate. Always be looking to relocate. If it's a dorm I don't know what to tell you.

Best of luck.


Edited for spelling and too many commas (probably still too many).

[NMDemDist2]

33. +1 n/t

[datasuspect]

23. i'd get my own crib

i did that living with other people shit.

fuck that shit.

[Maine-ah]

37. +1000000000000000000 been there done that couldn't agree more.

FTS. :toast:

[May Hamm]

24. Is this an "Why protect myself when I'd rather get even" thread?

Yes, it is illegal. Plus you may forget which food you contaminated and eat it yourself.

[RandomThoughts]

26. You have forgotten the lessons from the princes bride.

That should not be a problem.

[Bunny]

27. Well, if you want to be passive-aggressive, you could simply do nothing to your food.

Wait for the next time something gets stolen, then leave a note in the fridge telling the culprit that you hope he enjoyed the extra 'flavoring' you added to your food. No need to mention what that may have been, let his imagination take care of that. And since you didn't actually put anything in the food, you haven't done anything wrong.

But really, you should either move out or get your own little dorm fridge and stick a padlock on it.

[madmom]

28. Why not do something like a super hot habanero sauce or the like?

[av8rdave]

29. I had a coworker who had a VERY real looking rubber cockroach

One of those planted deep enough to be sure it's discovered only after eating some of the food ought to send the message, with no danger of physical harm to the prick who steals your Food.

[Ptah]

30. Excellent suggestion, av8rdave.

Shock value, no harm.

:thumbsup:

[IcyPeas]

35. OMG - I have seen these - so gross

I saw them in a "joke/magic" store in San Diego - it was so real looking

You'll hear the person screaming LOL

[Statistical]

31. Likely, or you could be sued for any damages (emergency room, pain & suffering, etc).

Even in self defense situation using "booby trap" is not protected.

[Tyrs WolfDaemon]

32. Put some salted slugs inside the food.

[hunter]

34. When I had roomates my diet was mostly rice, beans, and mackerel.

Plus those little plastic tubs of Taco Bell hot sauce and various random greens.

Occasionally my roommates got upset having a gutted dead fish or two in the fridge but they never stole it.

Once I had a stash of government powdered milk. I'd make that into buttermilk in a jar on top of the water heater. My roommates never touched that either.

Sometimes I worry about posting things like this. Someday a former roommate will recognize me and then I'll be sorry.

I was crazy.

[triguy46]

36. Could be charged with assault by poisoning.