MFM learned early in life, when a drunk buys you a drink, he expects you to listen to his life story

[MiddleFingerMom]

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[Amerigo Vespucci]

1. There were two drunks in Safeway this morning at 6 AM telling their life stories...

...but they weren't buying any drinks. They looked like "Banjo & Sullivan" from Rob Zombie's "Devil's Rejects" but a lot more ragged.

6 AM, these guys had a shitload of groceries on the belt (only one checkout line open at 6 AM and all the self-serve checkouts are turned OFF), and when the checker was getting near the end, one of the drunks said "Who d' I need a speak to aboutsum cigaets?"

The checker said "What do you need?"

He said "I needsum cigaets."

The checker said "What KIND of cigarettes?"

He said "I need me some Pell Mells."

His buddy said "Yeah, some Pell Mells."

So the checker has to call someone over the loudspeaker.

The person shows up. "Could you check and see if we have any Pall Malls?"

The first guy says "hunnuds."

The second guy says "Yeah! Pell Mell hunnuds."

The checker says "Could you please check and see if we have Pall Mall hundreds?"

"Pell Mell hunnuds!" the second guy said again.

"Yeah, Pell Mells" agreed the first.

So while all of this is going on the first guy turns around to the guy in front of me and says "An how'r YEW doin' t'day?"

And the guy's being polite, "Fine, how are you" and meanwhile another checker shows up and says "I can help the next person in line" and I did an "after you" motion to the guy in front of me and he says "No, that's OK, you go ahead" and I said "thanks" and went and buy the time the checker had rung up my ten or so items and I was leaving the store the two drifters were still a-waitin' fer them Pell Mells.

So glad I do my shopping early when there isn't a crowd.

:eyes:

[nolabear]

3. Sound like nice guys.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

4. Yeah, they were even nicer when I wasn't waiting behind them

Like 100% nicer.

:-)

[rurallib]

2. What the hell kind of neighborhood did you live in anyway?

[MilesColtrane]

5. Personally, I can put with a little "Oook Oook" in exchange for some liver fuel.