Ladies, I want your dating advice!

[Massacure]

A little background -- This girl and I (a guy) are both the same age, having just graduated college. We are both single (last time I asked her she said shes only had a few flings here and there) and we both have worked together at the same retail store throughout college. I've recently found a full time job but still work weekends at my old job because I like the people and really have nothing better to do, and she is currently looking for a job in her field of study.

At work the other day, I asked her if she would like to join me for dinner at this new restaurant in town. She seemed kind of surprised and caught off guard, saying she would think about it. I followed up with an e-mail last night and she responded saying that she was asking around at work and never heard of the place before. She suggested all of our coworkers go together as a group to try it out. She also said she felt going out as a group was "more appropriate for coworkers".

The only coworkers who hang out outside of work are the ones who go to the same school. We only had an official work get together once in my time there and that was about three years ago.

Anyways, this place I asked her to brews its own beer and several of our part time employees are high-schoolers. I'm not sure I'd feel comfortable inviting them to this place even if we were all close outside of work. I want to go out with this girl, and I also feel like spending some 1 on 1 time with this girl will get me closer to getting an actual 'date' than hanging out with her and a dozen other people

I guess I'm not sure how I want to respond.

Do I offer an alternative for the group get together?
Do I still ask her to accompany me somewhere 1 on 1?
Do I tell her I want to step out of the coworker box?
Do I tell her I want to date her?

I feel a little awkward posting this here, but if I ask my friends I worry they may go blabbing this to the girl I like...

[Tikki]

1. Go with the group ...then follow up with a personal..

call to talk about that evening's happenings. Next, ask her if she'd like to go to
the same place; just you two?

Sometimes who we are familiar with seem steadying during times of changes in our lives..


Have Fun...
Tikki

[blueamy66]

2. To be honest....

she's not interested.

Sorry,

[RandomThoughts]

3. +1

I agree, she is not interested. Although I am a guy, your explanation of that is pretty clear she is not interested.

[Maine-ah]

4. +2

[surrealAmerican]

5. That's what it sounds like ...

... but you might want to ask just to be sure.

[BlueJazz]

6. Sorry...If a woman you know says "I have to think about it"..She's saying NO.

Again...sorry...

[seabeyond]

7. i dont agree with everyone but the first, lol. i started all my guys with friends and groups

the ones i really liked, i started really liking them because we were friends first.

if you really want to go out with the woman, start where she is comfortable. but suggest you will pick her up and meet the group there. that might be an interesting twist. if it is a meh.... do what you want. ask her one on one. all she is going to do is say no thank you.

[TorchTheWitch]

8. don't shit where you eat

Co-workers dating is bad news and may be a firable offense. You don't need this job but she does. She has made it abundently clear she does not want to go on a date with you either because of the job situation or she just doesn't want to date you. Because of the job situation, you shouldn't even have asked her in the first place. Definitely don't ask again - that could be considered work place harrassment. Actually, the first time you asked her on a date could be considered work place harrassment. Both men and women should be able to go to work without having to deal with "the dating game" as all it seems to do is make people uncomfortable.

[Capn Sunshine]

10. Absolutely

Hang around at the bar of this place you describe , there will be plenty of single women there and you'll have more in common with them than going to the same building every day--like craft beer.

[Lucian]

9. She's not interested.

If she was, she would've said "yes" instead of the crap she gave you.

Find someone else.

I don't know why people can't more straightforward with shit like this.