My brother leaves Saturday... I'm not taking it well.

[Sal316]

:(

I've known this was coming for months, but I can't believe it's actually here. My younger brother, who just graduated from Arizona State, won one of 10 full ride scholarships to the graduate school at Notre Dame.

Don't get me wrong, I'm extremely proud of him.

I'm just going to miss him because I know this is permanent.

He's 8 years younger than me, and I can remember changing his diapers. I never thought he'd leave Mom and Dad (he's a mama's boy) and now that he is, it's kind of a shock.

None of us are taking this well... me, my girls, Mom, or Dad.

Tomorrow night we'll have dinner together for the last time for a long while.

This just sucks... I mean it's great for him.... but still it sucks.

[GOPisEvil]

1. Man, that's great for him!

Y'all are gonna be OK - just think soon you'll be boring everyone you meet with how smart he is! ;-)

[Sal316]

3. It does give me a reason to go to IN, though...

He wants me to come out and catch an Irish football game.

Sigh...

[GOPisEvil]

4. I hear that's an experience like no other...

...you get something new out of it too! :-)

[Sal316]

10. It'd be cool...if I liked the Irish.

LOL!

[GOPisEvil]

11. LOL! Go when they play Navy!!

:bounce:

[Sal316]

HEY! There's an idea!

Great idea, David!

GO NAVY!

[GOPisEvil]

15. That was my brainstorm for the week. Thanks - tip your waitresses!

:hi:

[Sal316]

18. Thanks for helping me smile.

Y'all are great.

:hi:

[Amaya]

24. you don't like the Irish?

:P
I'm gonna get ya for that one!

[Sal316]

26. stinker!

The ND Irish, hon!

You, on the other hand... hubba hubba!

[Amaya]

33. Thanks darlin!

I know ya love me :hi:

[salin]

I was thinking the same thing

if you make it the Stanford/Notre Dame game (they play annually - dont know where this year) - I'll find a way up to the game... crash your reunion with your brother for a quick DU meet and greet :D

[Sal316]

30. That'd be awesome, Salin.

It'd be an honor to meet one of my favorite DU'ers.

[salin]

34. We should do it

how long is his grad program?

By the way - as a prodigal daughter - if you had asked me any step along the way after I left Indiana after college - I would never have predicted (and I didn't desire) that I would come back here to set down my roots once my academic and professinal credentials were fully rooted.

[Sal316]

35. He's going straight through to doctorate....

...so I imagine he'll be at ND for atleast 3-4 years before he goes off to do research.

You're on!

[salin]

36. 'Cause I just remembered

that stanford came through South Bend last fall - so may have to wait a year. There was actually a big alumni club thing (and there is NO alumni club in Indiana - plus being a grad alum is different that UG - so it was the Chicago folks coming down). Sounded fun - but life was busy - it is about five hours away - so when push came to shove. Blew it off.

See - so you (your bro - and if all goes well maybe another DUer...) could let me act on that impulse and get up to the game because I would know that I would be in good company :D You would be doing Me a favor :D

So he's doing the phd.. good for him! May he find lots of stimulation and gratification in his studies and coursework.

[Mari333]

2. I know the feeling

Its change and loss and Grief you are feeling...Ive had that many times, and my last one just left to live on his own...
Its what happens in life, things change, and its the way its supposed to be, and its also okay to cry and be sad about it..
and remember the JOY of the change to....give it time, that will come on its own.....

[Sal316]

6. Thanks.....the thing that bugs Mom the most is...

...all the big things that are going to happen while he's gone... mostly finding someone and getting married.

That really bothers Mom... she's still got bad memories of when I did that to her in '94.

[SoCalDem]

22. Remind her that he's going to a GREAT place and a great life..

Imagine if he was being sent to Iraq:(.. He will call and come home too, and who knows? He may NOT find the future "Mrs Sal's brother" ..He may finish school and move back to where you all live :)

[Sal316]

27. The future is open....but it's so unknown!

Damn that drives us Scorpios nuts!

He'll be home for Christmas...which will be nice.

[Dookus]

5. Yup...

it's hard.

But it's also a great thing. And with the technology we have today, you can chat with him for free every day. We didn't have the internet when *I* and my siblings split up.

Good luck to him, and you too.

[Sal316]

8. It'll be an adjustment, that's for sure.

[madmax]

7. Big Hug Sal316

It doesn't have to be that way. Sure it won't be like he lives home but, if you both make the effort to get together, call on the phone, keep in touch - give it try. Just a thought and 2 cents worth.

[Sal316]

9. I do have to laugh, though..

This will be his first 'real' winter. We moved to AZ when he was 3, so he's NEVER experienced winter.

[bobthedrummer]

12. Sal316 at least he's not going to Iraq

eom.

[Sal316]

14. Thankfully... he's a peacenik, like me!

Except mine was born of being in the military.

[Shakeydave]

13. Here's a big fat, hairy bear hug fer ya!

Separation is the greatest thing for a good relationship! I cried for days when my big sister left for college! Holidays when she was home are still some of my greatest memories! I'm smilin' for you Sal! :hi:

[Sal316]

16. Thanks Shakeydave!

A big, fat,hairy bear hug is just what I need.

[Don_G]

17. Just Think Of What He Will Do

After the attention you and your family invested....

It's hard to realize you'll miss a close family member when they do their "stuff," but he will allways be a part of you and your parents.

[Sal316]

19. Someday I'll see him on the History Channel.

Dr. Matt, expert in pre-civil war American History.

[Lisa]

20. ah, that time of the year again!

Congratulations to your brother -- hey, on the plus side, you won't need to worry about those diapers again (unless he panics during his thesis defense!).

Hey Sal -- I've seen a lot of people leave for college, and have also been on the receiving side as new students from all over the continent start their degrees in our department.

Here's something that might help. Start making up fun packages -- a mixture of useful stuff, like utensils, spices, etc. for stocking a kitchen -- scholarship or no, it can take a lot of money to do this, and grad students appreciate some goodies to tide them through, especially if they have to teach as well, and may not have the time or energy to shop. Floppy disks or CD-ROMS for backing up their work. Pens (people kept making off with mine!).

And personal stuff -- CDs, photos or postcards from home, recipes, notes, seeds for a windowbox garden. It doesn't have to be a lot of things, and they don't have to be expensive -- the main thing is that assembling the packages takes some time, and distracts you from missing your bro. My parents did this (and friends and neighbours found out about it and began giving them stuff to add in).

If you send one package a week for the first couple of months, and then one per month for the rest of the school year -- I guarantee that you will feel a lot better.

[Sal316]

21. Great advice Lisa!

Thanks... It's going to be different without him around.

[Lisa]

25. pre-Civil War history?

Strangely enough, I'm supposed to start doing research into that era (though this would be pre-Confederation Western Canada, a different location on the continent). I got my doctorate (in physical geography) earlier this year, and it's led me into doing "pro bono" work for a local heritage conservation organization. I wish I could borrow your brother's brain! He is going to have such a great time -- conferences, cool research topics, profs and speakers from all over the world coming to his school.

Has he heard about this group? It sounds like they have some interesting events.

http://www.historiansagainstwar.org/

[Sal316]

28. 1840-1860, Antebellum, non-military

That's his graduate program.

LOL!

My LEAST favorite period of US history!

[Lisa]

32. not mine either ...

... but I guess I'm going to have to make do!

Here are some project photos. (I helped work on an 1812-era pottery kiln dig, so the industrial archaeology and domestic architecture stuff I did during high school will come in handy ...)

http://www.conservancy.bc.ca/Projects/CRD/rossbay/rbv_home_page.htm

Payoff for me is helping restore the garden (and the farm outside of town, from the same era). We have some period seed catalogues, and my job is to track down seed from surviving varieties. I'm also hoping to get some varieties of chickens and ducks that are currently endangered ... the Victorians were big-time poultry fanciers, so this would fit in with the general scope of the project.

Meanwhile, I'm learning more than I ever wanted to know about mid-1800s plumbing fixtures.

[Peace_2_Everyone]

23. My family is maturing

and growing apart too, and it does hurt.

But I am so grateful and thank God that we are allowed to grow and were not torn apart by, death, divorce ect. as other families sometimes are.

Keep looking for the good in this adventure, communication is a whole lot easier now days.
:)

[Sal316]

29. Thanks peace...

It's kinda funny how things have come full circle.

I was the first one to leave (Navy 1992) and now I'm the only one left.

I swear I hear Mufasa in the background talking about the "Circle of Life"

:hi:

[salin]

31. I was the one in the family

who kept going the furthest away - years on end. I am also the youngest. Went east coast (DC) then back, then north (only 5 hours) to Ann Arbor/Detroit, then west (Bay area)...

Always found time to travel home. All vacations led back here to Indiana and family. Eventually the siren song of family brought me back. Didn't intend to stay. Didn't think I would find work here (Narrow specialization). But here I am, very happily. But I wouldn't trade the years away for a minute.

Perhaps your brother, as he finds academic and professional independence - will in the end become more dependent - but in a more mature (adult) way - realizing the beauty of the importance of family.

It is harder, being the one(s) that stay. There is not the adventure of the new to distract from the fear and sadness of seperation. Hang in there. Many hugs.

[Throckmorton]

37. Quick, run into his room and play with all his toys.

I remember when my older brother left home for the last time, he was 7 years older than I was, and I still miss him, and its been 26 years.

It was never quite the same again, I am going to see him on Sunday, I haven't seen him since Mrs. Throckmorton was diagnosed with cancer in January.

[VelmaD]

38. It's hard letting them go...

You're right...it sucks. And it isn't the least bit selfish to feel conflicted about it.

I have a little bro too. A little over 2 years younger than me. He moved to Florida a couple of years ago for a job opportunity and I miss him like crazy.

But, I'm so proud of him. He's out there making it on his own. It's kind of neat to remember him as a baby and as a snotty 10 year old and as a goofy teenager and now know him as a repsonsible adult. :-)

I know what grad school was like for me and he'll need you all to stay in touch. It's hard to be the one leaving too.

Darth Velma