Watching my son fall through a school's cracks.

[ScreamingMeemie]

K-6, no blemishes, bumps or bruises on his record.

7 grade-8 in school suspensions (with no phone call home even though I begged them to let me know due to our situation), one dislocated jaw (due to getting his head slammed into a locker when the teacher wasn't looking; he defended himself, hence 3 of the in schools), one very frustrated boy who was an A/B student until second semester. Two teachers (the rest adore him) who have created this problem. One boy who cries in frustration that he doesn't know why his teacher doesn't like him. One mother who is so very afraid of losing him. One banner on the school website: "No place for Hate" which is utter bullshit.

One very sad Sunday.

Just venting. You can move along. I tried to call my dad (no answer) and I had to put this somewhere. Facebook is too facebook-y.

[elleng]

1. VERY sorry, Meemie.

:hug:

[ScreamingMeemie]

4. Thanks ellen

I needed to cry about it somewhere. Sometimes life is a big brick wall.

[SOteric]

2. Aw, man.

I'm so sorry, Laura. It's so frustrating when this kind of thing happens. :hug: for you and pass one along to your fine young man, too.

[ScreamingMeemie]

5. I will do that.

And one for you as well. :hug: Thanks for being a good friend.

[bigwillq]

3. This really breaks my heart.

:hug:

Is the school doing anything to try to fix some of these issues?

[ScreamingMeemie]

6. It is killing me.

I have talked with the Assistant Principal (last week) and he told me he's a "good kid" and it's "just testosterone" and that's not good enough. I reiterated about his father, grandfather and great grandfather and what my goals are with him. When I began to note it was the same two teachers (one who is very young and acted a little too cool with the kids earlier in the year) and that I wasn't receiving any calls home (even though I notified the counselor at the beginning of the year to give them insight). I spoke with another mother (the kids in our neighborhood were rezoned between 6th and 7th grade and adjusting can be hard) and she has had the same troubles. I just don't know what to do anymore.

[TuxedoKat]

7. 7th grade is the worst

Is there any way you can move him to a new school next fall? It sounds like the school is not protecting him from bullies. This was the case for my daughter too. I was afraid for her life in 7th grade. School did nothing about the bullying to protect her so we sent her to a private school for 8th grade. This year she went back to the local public school; there has been a little bullying but it was taken care of promptly.

Are there any lawyers that specialize in bullying in your area? You need someone on your side to help you and your son. Can your son switch to another public school? So sorry you and your son are going through this, bullying harms the entire family. Please protect your son though, he needs you to protect him and get him out of this situation. (((HUGS)))

[ScreamingMeemie]

10. It was a tough situation to begin with.

We moved from MI to TX in 5th grade. He started at middle school at one school and then we were rezoned into another middle school for 7th grade. There are no schools of choice but I am thinking of looking into charter schools. The bullying, for the most part, has been on the part of the two teachers. After the one altercation he has been okay. He is always honest with me on the troubles he has with teachers. I find out about things from him. It wasn't the way it was supposed to be.

[DebJ]

8. Re the two teachers: can you get your son transferred to

different classrooms for these two teachers? If the school is having lots of issues, then with some parental pressure this shouldn't be difficult to accomplish and probably has been done times before.

[ScreamingMeemie]

11. I was trying to wait out this last month, but not if he ends up out of his

other classes and in ISS. Quite a few other parents have moved students out of one class into another. In talking to another parent, I realize that it isn't just us. It's so demoralizing.

[DebJ]

13. If the teachers can't help, moving him might, and this also

might separate him from certain students in those classes that might be working to get him into trouble.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

9. I've been there...

with my older boy. I won't go into the details, but if I were in your shoes now, I would confer with the teachers who like your son, and see what suggestions they might be able to offer. The dynamics of every school and every system are so different. Sometimes the administration can help, somtimes they're useless. The teachers who are supportive of your son are in a better position to know what course of action would be most effective.

Our school system is such a mess that we opted to homeschool my younger son after kindergarten. We'll see about high school...

I'm so sorry about your son. ~hugs~ for both of you...

[ScreamingMeemie]

12. Thanks GoG. That's a good idea.

I have spoken with his coach about it (who is flabbergasted because James is polite and a hard worker in athletics) and mean to talk with his math and art teachers, who also really like him. I am going to look into either charter schools or public online schooling. I would hate to take him out of sports because he enjoys them and loves that team, but it's not enough.

[TuxedoKat]

14. I used to homeschool

using this online program: www.k12.com

There are probably plenty more now though.

[bluesbassman]

15. So sorry to hear you're going through this.

I been there to. It's very frustrating, but it sounds like you're doing the right things. I didn't catch it in the thread, but have you actually met with the teachers he's having trouble with? If not, you may want to do that just for documentation purpose. Best wishes to you and your son as you deal with middle school. Tough years. :hug:

[ScreamingMeemie]

16. Thank you bluesbassman.

I am in contact with the teachers every time these things happen and get the same response, "Most parents don't care." I do care. I sent the two emails again this weekend, letting them know that he won't be in school, but out of school those days and that I hoped they would get his work together for him, as the "in school" thing apparently wasn't working since they continue to slap him with them. I sent them before I changed my mind because I really let them have it (in a clear, polite and measured response).

[Bossy Monkey]

17. That school sounds like it's mostly cracks. Best of luck.

My bad year was 6th grade. In 7th I went back to straight As. It's easy to turn things around at that age, and he shouldn't have to see the same teachers again.

[ScreamingMeemie]

25. Thank you for being a light at the end of the tunnel.

I appreciate that.

[1gobluedem]

18. Oh, Laura

Please keep fighting this with all you've got. Go to the superintendent if you have to. Go to the media. Explore other options. This is a wonderful, smart kid you've got; his potential is too great to let this happen.

[ScreamingMeemie]

27. Thank you so very much. I really need the comments in this.

It's an uphill battle. It is James' first real experience with a teacher who didn't immediately "like" him and he doesn't know why.

[Maat]

19. Consider homeschooling, particularly through a charter school.

My daughter is just completing 8th grade. It's been five relatively stress-free years for us (knock on wood). Homestudy-oriented charter schools are over the place, as are online options.

[JitterbugPerfume]

20. that is heart breaking

the situation is so out of control! when my grandson returned to school recently after the death of his mom some kid on the school bus made some remarks about her that were just devastating .

How do we help our children? I honestly have no idea, other than giving the love and support.

[KamaAina]

21. Holy cats!

Didn't you move as far out as you did (out where the buses don't run :( ) specifically to get in a good school district? :wtf:

[Lydia Leftcoast]

22. Talk to the teachers who DO like him and see if they can exert some peer pressure

on the abusive teachers. See if your son has any friends who can be his "posse" and keep the bullying kids under control.

When you're in seventh grade, school is a huge part of your life, and anything that goes wrong there reverberates big-time in your whole psyche.

[KamaAina]

23. For those of you just joining us, JuniorMeemie is by no means your stereotypical victim of bullying.

He is, in fact, an aspiring jock who once stole home, one of the most difficult feats in baseball.

If it can happen to him, it can happen to anyone. :scared:

[WinkyDink]

24. If i'm getting this, your son is being picked on BY 2 TEACHERS. I recommend documentation and then

insisting on a Parent-Principal (NOT Assistant Principal, who is all about disciplining the students)-Son conference. SOON.
Be aware the teacher might have Union representation, also.
Other teachers' comments really won't mean anything, as the issues and incidents do not involve them and they are not witnesses.

You can request in-classroom videotaping; administrative observations; out-of-classroom transfers, even to the point of a private area to work (say, the library) during those classtimes to do those classes' assignments.

I speak as one whose parents had to confer in this fashion with my teachers in several grades, and as a former teacher myself.

[RedCloud]

26. My boy got clobbered several times the first few months.

School looked at parents and decided military brats could pound away. They did not actually say that but they are under pressure.

I said I actually have no qualms about volunteering when they come up for accreditation renewal or seeing the base commander. It has since stopped dramatically. I don't like threats but they give us little leeway.

[GreenPartyVoter]

28. I'm so sorry this is happening. *hugs* I wish I had some helpful suggestions.

[femmocrat]

29. I am very sorry about your son having such a difficult time, but....

I seriously doubt that it is the fault of the two teachers. Please schedule a group conference with those two teachers, the principal and the guidance counselor ASAP. Don't go alone... take a counselor or whoever you trust to speak up for your son's rights.

You need more information than your son's account of what is going on. Schools can stop bullying, especially if you make enough noise and threaten to get a lawyer. If the principal won't cooperate, go over his head! Medical documentation of a dislocated jaw is enough to sue for negligence. You could at least file charges against the student who injured him!

IMO, he should not have received an ISS for this (as he was the victim), but I don't know all the facts. Good luck, ScreamingMeemie.

[flvegan]

30. These two teachers...what problem have they created?

This isn't a "gotcha" question. If I had a kid (and I don't, so feel free to ignore anything I say) who was otherwise doing alright short problems created by any individual or two (teacher, parent, school official) and I was "afraid of losing him" I'd damn sure exploit their very humanity, whatever it was.

I don't know the backstory here, but I hope your boy's situation gets put right.