Son of I Want To Create A Thread That Never Dies Until MiddleFingerMom Gets Back From The Hospital

[Amerigo Vespucci]

OK, so we all remember the drill from before.

We can use Kali's thread for medical updates and we can post the Ass-Hattery, Tom Foolery, and Hijinks Galore© here, really important stuff, about getting drunk and not wearing pants and shaving your ass, or the ass of someone you love.

:eyes:

LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE.

LET'S MEDICATE THE DAFFY BASTID.

LET'S GIVE HIM A "LAUGHTER DRIP."

And oh, there's one more thing.

If we go at this with enough gusto, maybe nolabear can be the 300th poster this time.



:grouphug:

[HopeHoops]

1. Hell, with enough Demerol, he'll laugh at ANYTHING!

[Amerigo Vespucci]

2. That's what makes our job easy...a drugged MFM is easy to please.

:rofl:

:toast:

[HopeHoops]

3. I thought that was his NORMAL state.

:evilgrin:

[Amerigo Vespucci]

4. It's like double dips at Dairy Queen or Doubel Secret Probation...

...this is what MFM's demerol drip looks like before they hang the sucker up on the hook:



:rofl:

[HopeHoops]

5. Oh bullshit. That's only a 55 gallon drum.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

7. Yeah. One of those every hour, round the clock. Read his fucking chart, why dontcha!

:rofl:

:toast:

[HopeHoops]

11. READ it? I WROTE IT!

I prescribed six naughty nurses a day, an oil tanker of Demerol per day, and a side salad.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

18. mmmmmmmmmmm...SIDE salad.

[HopeHoops]

19. That looks more like brie than gorgonzola. And the dressing is definitely French.

:blush:

[ohnoyoudidnt]

6. MFM's first trip to the zoo

[Amerigo Vespucci]

9. He's done the same thing with other species since then...

...he's helpful and all, but "making the beast with two backs" is private time, you know?

:rofl:

:toast:

[lunatica]

8. Careful you don't end up like this kitteh

[Amerigo Vespucci]

10. That cat just got a glimpse of MFM strutting doen the hall without pants

That's a well-documented fact.

In humans, the phenomenon causes a stinging sensation in the tear ducts and temporary blindness.

With our canine and feline friends, they just hit the mat, BLAM, down they go.

:-)

[emilyg]

14. LOL

[sarge43]

12. Now it can be told

Why MFM was banned from all vets' clinics

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GlPAVm8Gl6M&feature=related

and the United Kingdom.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zqQaLnj7uNg&feature=related

[Amerigo Vespucci]

13. Q: "Is it tame?" A: "Up to a point..."

yeah, that's MFM alright...

:rofl:

:toast:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

15. My dear Amerigo Vespucci!

Alas, I have nothing to contribute, but I did want to give your hilarious thread a mighty kick!

:kick:

I'm doing what I can, doncha know?

:P

[Amerigo Vespucci]

16. Thanks CP...

...one way or another, I'll keep it moving along until MFM returns.

It's a shame, because we know he likes to steal my best material...it's true! Just look at some of his replies, things like "STOLEN for future use on DU."

:rofl:

[lunatica]

17. MFM is probably getting plenty of nap time

[rurallib]

20. got just the thing for MFM at the store today

[rurallib]

21. textsfromlastnight - could this be MFM?

(414):

Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
===========================================================

Could explain some things

[Amerigo Vespucci]

26. I understand Friday nights are normally his "Braveheart" nights anyway...

...except it's not his face he paints that way. I've probably said too much already.



:eyes:

[bluesbassman]

22. Got him a new axe so he can bone up on Foggy Mountain Breakdown...

[Amerigo Vespucci]

24. Is that what I think it is?

If so, I'll bet he's already named it "Lucille."

:rofl:

:Toast:

[bluesbassman]

27. Well, it would be more accurate to name it "john"...

but everybody knows guitars are female. :)

[nolabear]

23. It's not that MFM had a setback...

He's just not finished with the surprise he's prepared for us.
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[Amerigo Vespucci]

25. The link just took me to your Photobucket album...was THIS the surprise?

If so, he's already surprised us that way, and one time too MANY if you ask me.

:rofl:

[ohnoyoudidnt]

28. His surprises get worse than that

[Amerigo Vespucci]

29. "Oh, not AGAIN" is the most frequently spoken phrase in his hospital

:rofl:

[nolabear]

30. I fixed it. You are WAY too quick! Go back to my post; it's funnier now.

Right?

[Amerigo Vespucci]

31. I don't know...the photo I picked from your album had "MFM" written all over it...

:rofl:

:toast:

[nolabear]

34. I actually posted that one in the first MFM thread. GMTA

Or some such internet speak.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

32. EVERY night of his life, MiddleFingerMom dreams of THIS sign, and wakes up screaming...

:-)

[pacalo]

126. ...as well as the NO SHIRT, NO SERVICE nightmare!

[Kali]

33. getting a good start here!

I really think you need to incorporate the cheeseburger in a can into this thread, though.

Or maybe we should take up a collection and order him a case???:rofl:

[Amerigo Vespucci]

36. Now THAT would be a THOUGHTFUL gift.

And I'll bet that you get a LOT of those suckers in a case...what would be a lifetime supply for most people.

:rofl:





I looked at the photo of that sucker and was reminded of the old Lay's potato chip commercial, "Betcha can't eat JUST ONE..."

:rofl:

[Amerigo Vespucci]

37. Hey, LOOK, kids! It's CHEESEBURGER IN A CAN taste test videos!

There are several on the page:

http://www.avclub.com/articles/taste-test-cheeseburger-in-a-can,2183/

Note the difference between the marketing photo and what actually comes out of the can:









:-)

[ohnoyoudidnt]

41. The second one looks like someone at it and puked it back up into the can. nt

[Amerigo Vespucci]

38. I FOUND THEIR HOME PAGE!

We could probably but together a GIFT BASKET of their most DISTINCTIVE items!

http://www.trekneat.com/trekn-eat-produkte/produkte/katadynshopconnect/trekn-eat-snacks/tne-cheeseburger-in-der-dose/

VENISON STEW in a pouch!



SALMON PESTO in a pouch (I know MFM likes salmon):



SCRAMBLED EGGS in a pouch!



BEEF STROGANOFF with RICE in a pouch!



:rofl:

[Amerigo Vespucci]

35. BREAKING: Hospital puts out an A.P.B. for MFM, missing from his room at "lights out"...

...oh. Never mind. There he is:



:-)

[nolabear]

39. Now that he thinks back, MFM should have known there was something funny about his surgical team.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

40. He clearly remembered that one of the nurses smelled like bacon...

...which sent him into a peaceful reverie while they did the deed.

:rofl:

[nolabear]

42. !!

http://youtu.be/9N0DrRS7d4s

[ohnoyoudidnt]

44. It could have been worse

[ohnoyoudidnt]

43. From that day on, MFM's parents kept the clippers locked in the safe.

[ohnoyoudidnt]

45. hmm

[pacalo]

46. "How're you doing today, MFM? Had a setback? It'll be okay."

[IcyPeas]

47. Zebra. Because...

they're cool:

[nolabear]

48. Too sleepy to be clever kick. MFM wouldn't be too sleepy to be clever...

[Amerigo Vespucci]

50. I'm awake, but "clever" hasn't kicked in yet this morning (off to a late start)...

...so I'll kick it now and come up with something hoo-lay-ree-us later.

:eyes:

:rofl:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

49. I want to copycat this thread ...

MFM . . are you up for that?

hang in there, buddy :hug:

[nolabear]

51. FIFTY!! The semi-streak continues!! w00t!!

[nolabear]

52. ruh-roh...

[Amerigo Vespucci]

53. Congratulations! Don;t get too cocky, though, because you remember what happened LAST time.

I'd hate to see you taking victory laps around the 298 mark and then oopsie daisy, I ask the mods to lock the thread again.

:rofl:

[nolabear]

55. Don't look now but my 50 was a 51.

*sigh*

[Amerigo Vespucci]

56. Oh well..there's always 100. Or 101.

:rofl:

[sarge43]

54. "Mommy, MFM is gonna be OK, isn't he?"

"Darling, he'll be fine. The daffy bastid'll be back before you know it."

[Amerigo Vespucci]

57. It's true, animals sense when there's something funny going on.

Of course, they're always stirred up around MFM when he's in perfect health. This is just a different kind of disturbance in their "force."

:rofl:

:toast:

[sarge43]

58. They're sensitive to pending earthquakes and thunderstorms.

Same difference

[Amerigo Vespucci]

59. Yes, depending on MFM's diet that day.

I understand that Thursdays are traditionally chili nights at Casa de MFM, and the animals usually exit the house via the doggie door and don't return for the next 48 hours.

:-)

[sarge43]

60. Geese usually get a head start

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4WVTG3dXuVM&feature=related.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

61. Sometimes winged creatures fall from the sky when passing over his house

The neighbors think he's trying to shield himself from the sun's damaging rays, but he's trying to avoid a repeat of that afternoon in 1994 when he let one rip and an entire flock of passing geese came straight down on his noggin.

Of course, he ate well for the next six months, but it was hell finding enough freezer space.

:rofl:

[sarge43]

62. The baby ducks suffered, but escaped.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEBLt6Kd9EY&feature=related

[Amerigo Vespucci]

63. Yep, the mother found a clothespin and one of the babies said "put it on my bill...PLEASE!"

<<<<<RIMSHOT>>>>>

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. I'll be here all week.

:rofl:

[pacalo]

127. That's ADORABLE!

[Dystopian]

64. MFM...

I've been thinking...
In response to your last PM.


YES!!!!!
I will marry you!


:loveya:



peace~

[Amerigo Vespucci]

65. Two words: PRENUP.

:rofl:

[Dystopian]

68. !

He's rich?
:wow:

He didn't tell me that! I lied and told him I was!
Now I get it...hmmmm..x(


peace~

[solara]

66. Im not clever like everyone else on this thread, so I'm just kickin' this

:kick: kickerooo

It's the least I can do



:hi:

[Amerigo Vespucci]

67. 99% of my cleverness is convincing people I'm clever...

:rofl:

The kick is MUCH appreciated. I want to keep this active until MFM returns...hopefully he'll stick around this time.

:toast:

[solara]

70. I hope MFM sticks around too..

you and he are the main reasons I still come into the lounge and sometimes I wonder where the hell you came from - you really make me laugh out loud - and between the two of you I sometimes get lost in laughter --- and I like it

:hi:

:kick:

[IcyPeas]

69. Absinthe and Women

Strindberg and Helium

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dt3vYWZFxK0&feature=related

[Amerigo Vespucci]

71. MiddleFingerMom continues to hit on EVERY nurse, but THIS guy is providing MAJOR competition:

:-)

[nolabear]

85. Apparently Mom is still looking over his shoulder

which raises the "ew" to a whole new level.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

72. MiddleFingerMom practices his kick-boxing moves...between sponge baths, of course.

:-)

[nolabear]

86. MFM looks a lot more like Buddy Hackett than I thought.

HEY...we haven't yet plumbed the depths of Buddy Hackett, have we?

[Amerigo Vespucci]

73. As a wee lad, MFM took a KEEN interest in exercise and physical fitness.

:-)

[Amerigo Vespucci]

74. MFM has a special "panic button" installed to address one his many concerns during his hospital stay

:-)

[pacalo]

88. You're on a roll, Amerigo!

:rofl:

I was gone yesterday & most of today, but I'm back in the trenches to help in keeping this thread alive.

:patriot:

[Phentex]

75. MiddleFingerMom is a man! Repeat...

MiddleFingerMom IS A MAN! :)

[Amerigo Vespucci]

77. HE'S A COOKBOOK! MiddleFingerMom IS A COOKBOOK!

:rofl:

[Phentex]

78. LOL!

Love your posts! :D

[Amerigo Vespucci]

76. It seems like only YESTERDAY that MiddleFingerBiggerBrother taught MFM how to box...

:-)

[rurallib]

79. It's getting warmer - the babes are out

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[Amerigo Vespucci]

80. I can guarantee MFM is gonna swipe that one for "future use."

:rofl:

:toast:

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

142. The anatomically correct version:

[solara]

287. lol

:rofl:

[solara]

81. Kicking and sending even more good vibes

:kick: kickety

[Amerigo Vespucci]

82. From the MiddleFingerFamilyAlbum...it's the little infink MiddleFingerMom in "swaddling clothes."

:rofl:

[progressoid]

83. Oh pooh.

[marzipanni]

125. Teddy Bares Picnic!

♪ In the Hundred Acre Wood Winnie Weiner the Pooh is unabashedly showing his junk (with apologies to that other Weiner, and Skittles ;))

[nolabear]

84. *sigh* I got nothin'.

But kick anyway.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

87. It's OK, understood...

...we almost hit 300 replies in the previous thread, and we're almost at 100 here...plus all of the stuff in Kali's two threads...there's a limit, you know? So if folks do nothing but keep the thread kicked so he can read it when he returns, that's fine.

:toast:

[pacalo]

89. (dupe)

[pacalo]

90. The Lounge wanted to do something special for MFM to pick up his spirits.

We sent the McGyver Handymen over to MFM's house to fix anything that needed some fixing, or to add a little McGyver pizzazz.

Let's start with the bathroom!

Shower head mount:  done!



Thought MFM would like the convenience of a paper towel holder near the sink:



Now, going into the kitchen, MFM has a slightly used ceiling fan, but it's got a lot of life left in it!



And the refrigerator door shelves are stronger than ever -- load 'em up!



It was noticed that MFM could have used another receptacle for his appliances.  An Altoid tin never came in handier:



Going into the living room, MFM's entertainment center didn't have the capacity for his new tv, but it does now!



We told the handymen we didn't want MFM climbing the stairs, so they took care of that:  they put their drywall skills to work & blocked off the entire second floor:



Wait 'til MFM sees what these amazing guys did on his property!

But first, sorry about the mailbox.  The handymen knocked down MFM's original box, but Amerigo came through with a temporary solution...



MFM finally got a replacement for that broken rail leading up to his pool:



And that broken outside light fixture was replaced!



Knowing MFM is going to need his bicycle for exercise later on when he gets stronger, the guys wanted to make sure he had a kickstand for MFM's easy access:



We were dismayed to see that MFM's hood ornament was missing, so the guys fashioned a new one & proudly installed their theft-proof creation:



And, finally, Ptah & Amerigo stopped by to create a vegetable garden for MFM.  After a hard day's work, Ptah watered the new plants, improvising with one of MFM's broken gutters (don't worry; that section was replaced, as you'll see)...



See?  Good as new...

[sarge43]

91. The boss of that crack team of handymen and his state of the art equipment

Great post, pacalo. :spray::applause:

[pacalo]

100. Thanks for showing the picture of Luther, sarge.

He gets a lot done but his eyesight's not so good anymore.

:hi:

[Amerigo Vespucci]

93. My guess is that the "vegetable" garden will soon be filled with "greens" of many varieties...

:rofl:

[pacalo]

101. Isn't that a LOVELY PALM tree!

(Shhh...you weren't supposed to mention that sooprize.)

:rofl:

[pacalo]

243. One more thing about the handymen -- I had no idea how ARTISTIC they were until

I saw the BIG SURPRISE they carved out in MFM's living room for his homecoming. I just hope MFM can get to a chair quickly when he sees it...

[Amerigo Vespucci]

92. At the Disco, MiddleFingerMom told his date "I'll be right back." That was in 1976...

...and his date is still waiting.



:-)

[pacalo]

102. OMG...

:rofl:

[kentauros]

118. They're both stayin' alive then...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLQWPgQMHhQ

:P

[Amerigo Vespucci]

94. It wasn't EASY for MFM to put himself through Junior College, but he got a part-time job, and...

.

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.



:-)

[MilesColtrane]

162. That was just before his ill fated stint as a Chippendale's waiter.

Of course, he had to use a pseudonym.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=3620197245544054120#

[solara]

288. Oh baby, oh baby

:kick:

[Amerigo Vespucci]

95. After Junior College, MFM practiced 16 hours a day for the Night Ranger auditions

[Amerigo Vespucci]

96. Looking for MFM's hospital? Just follow the signs.

:-)

[Amerigo Vespucci]

97. MiddleFingerMom does not mince words when it comes to lunch...

[Amerigo Vespucci]

98. MiddleFingerMom and his pet chipmunk "Alvin" were inseperable...they did everything together.

:grouphug:

[Amerigo Vespucci]

99. MiddleFingerMom learned the HARD way to put BIRD SEED in the bird feeder...NOT stew beef.

:-)

[pacalo]

104. You're on a good roll, Amerigo. Lots of good stuff!

The nurses better send some Depends home with MFM when he reads this thread. :)

[Amerigo Vespucci]

106. He's gonna steal all of it. ALL...OF...IT.

I just KNOW he is.

:rofl:

[Amerigo Vespucci]

103. The hospital gave MiddleFingerMom a convenient chart to help him adjust to post-surgery life...

:-)

[pacalo]

105. Maids Schmaids, Inc., sent a maid to tidy up MiddleFingerMom's house on Saturday.

Unfortunately, her services were far below reasonable expectations, as you can see in the video below.  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8bp-HX-pcmg&feature=youtube_gdata_player

I called the agency to complain & the lady I spoke to, Mrs. Sue Watt, was upset at the maid's lack of know-how.

She got my attention when she said, "What?!" Then the clencher...

"If I've told her ONCE, I've told her a HUNDRED TIMES -- use the HAIRBRUSH!"



So, I called another agency, Speedy Clean Maids, on Sunday & had another maid sent to MFM's house.

I may have to go into the Witness Protection Program so that MFM won't be able to find me.  Roll the video...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfli-v1rWL4&sns=em

[Amerigo Vespucci]

107. In the 70s, MiddleFingerMom visited MiddleFingerAunt and her roommate Eunice every Wednesday night..

:-)

[pacalo]

109. OMG!

:rofl:

I love those two ladies!!!

[Amerigo Vespucci]

110. If you had to pick two people to get hammered with...pick them.

:rofl:

[Amerigo Vespucci]

108. EXCERPT from MiddleFingerMom's unpublished book, "Dogs Are From Pluto, Cats Are From Uranus"...

:-)

[pacalo]

111. I love the cat's diary. We humans are so beneath them!

[Amerigo Vespucci]

112. We basically serve at their pleasure.

Feel like petting the cat? Better hope he / she is in the mood for it.

Cat feels like being petted and you're busy or just not in the mood? Count the ways that cat will demand your attention, and just give in and give them what they want, because it's easier and quicker that way.

:rofl:

[pacalo]

115. What a diva!

[snagglepuss]

252. Absolutely hysterical. One of the best posts ever. That should come

with a warning not to have food near or in one's mouth.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

113. MiddleFingerMom soon learned that Obi-Wan Kenobi was not his ONLY hope...

:evilgrin:

[Amerigo Vespucci]

114. MiddleFigerMom's dreams are seldom filled with visions of sugar plums dancing in his head...

:rofl:

[pacalo]

116. That there is JUST ONE reason I couldn't work at Glamour Shots.

I couldn't keep a straight face while doing my job.

The OTHER REASON is that I'm not a professional photographer.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

117. MFM's Aunt Agnes is constantly looking for adventure, or whatever comes her way...

:-)

[Amerigo Vespucci]

119. MFM's doctor attempts to demonstrate medical procedure they'll be performing on him this afternoon..

:-)

[Amerigo Vespucci]

120. After his lunchtime antics, the hospital REFUSES to EVER serve MFM Cheesy Poofs again.

:eyes:

[pacalo]

122. Hahaaa!

:thumbsup:

[Amerigo Vespucci]

121. As the hospital bills pile up, MFM starts his own business in order to raise some quick cash...

:-)

[pacalo]

123. This afternoon I was wondering how I could help MFM catch up on all the neighborhood news.

So I found his local phone directory on the internets & randomly -- with beginner's luck -- found the most charming, newsy woman named Mrs. Wiggums who happens to live a few miles from MFM.  

So here's the scoop.

There was a rowdy party going on at Bubba's Stumble In Bar last Saturday night.  Helen Wheels was so tipsy she tried to dance on top of a card table, then fell through it.



Bill Mytab was seen on Sunday afternoon wandering in traffic after a weekend bender...



Mrs. Mytab was clearly at the end of her rope with Bill's behavior.  Desperate for quiet solitude, she put her ingenuity to work & came up with an idea to confuse Bill when he returned, hoping he'd give up trying to go inside & keep walking...



Jerry Riggs has his own body shop business.  His neighbors suspect he didn't pass the certification test.  What do you think?



Lucy Witt's daughter, Demma, has been watching too many episodes of "McGyver".  Mrs. Witt is threatening to cancel their Netflix subscription after seeing some of Demma's "inventions":

  

Don Amask has put his car up for sale but hasn't gotten a bite.



And now, the good news!  Long John Silver's is now taking credit cards at the drive-through window!

[ohnoyoudidnt]

124. MSM took karate lessons as a kid.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

128. MiddleFingerMom's getting a real education in modern-day first aid and rescue techniques.

:eyes:

[pacalo]

129. ...

:spank:

[Amerigo Vespucci]

130. What? He's getting an education in what NOT to do! That's a good thing, isn't it?

:evilgrin:

:rofl:

[pacalo]

134. That, AV, is a page out of "The Dummies' Guide to Parenting"...

:rofl:

[pacalo]

131. Weary of being cooped up, MiddleFingerMom had a dream last night about a GREAT ESCAPE...

[Amerigo Vespucci]

132. Oh man, that dog wanted OUT.

Got a little panicked when I saw him stuck but figured it had a happy ending.

:-)

[pacalo]

133. I couldn't have posted it if he had hurt himself.

I wonder if he had done this before & his owner set up a camera to find out how the dogs were getting out while the owner was gone.

:rofl:

[pacalo]

135. MiddleFingerMom's going to have to take it easy for awhile when he gets home.

MFM can just sit back, relax, & catch up on reruns of "Axe Men" & "Hardcore Pawn"...




Get some fresh air in the backyard...




Have someone take care of the grass cutting...




A friend can help MFM with some of the chores...




Then, after a couple of months, MFM can gradually work himself up to exercising regularly.

Like riding his bike -- SLOWLY, at first...




Then gradually picking up speed...




By next year MFM will feel strong enough for his usual routine...




And for serious exercising, as well...




We're pulling for you, MiddleFingerMom! :hug:

[marzipanni]

197. Even though MFM is tired from all the surgery and "procedures"

the rehab exercises are starting to look rather interesting after staying in one place so long.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

136. MFM's new portrait photography business is off to...well, a "rocky" start.

:-)

[pacalo]

138. OMG!

This one REALLY made me crack up!

:rofl:

:thumbsup:

[Amerigo Vespucci]

137. MFM decides to GIVE UP microwave popcorn forever...but not for the reason you may suspect.

:-)

[nolabear]

139. Having had no access to the internet, MFM can't imagine why he shouldn't tweet his weiner.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

141. I understand that first incision is the worst one.

:rofl:

[Amerigo Vespucci]

140. MFM's single greatest wish...other than sponge baths every hour...is...

...that by the time he is released from the hospital, someone will have responded to his "lost turtle" ad and returned his precious companion, Bruce Lee, back to Casa de MFM...



:-)

[nolabear]

143. Kick with a new appreciation for how HARD this is! I now get why MFM wants responses.

I mean, DAMN.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

144. I sort of addressed that at the end of the last "I want to create a thread" thread...

...that's one of the main reasons I asked the Mods to lock it...in addition to the fact that MFM had computer access again and I knew he'd be reading it. I wanted it to be the last post in the thread so that it stood out and it wouldn't be buried among the "hijinks."

And what I said was that expecting a "return on the investment"...recognition/reward in exchange for initial effort...is probably not a reasonable expectation on DU.

There is no consistency, no way to predict what kinds of threads are going to sink or swim.

But I do remember the thread MFM posted about responses, and I addressed it, and he replied to me privately, so I think he sees things in a new light.

It would be nice to know that you set out to make people laugh or to have some other kind of positive effect on them. Sometimes I'll see something that I like but I don't reply because I have nothing new to add to the conversation, or I just don't feel like replying...it's nothing personal, it doesn;t mean I don't appreciate the effort that went into the original post...it is what it is, and that's all that it is.

I'm personally getting tired of keeping this specific thread kicked. If you look at the responses since June 1st, it's basically been pacalo and I keeping it active, which makes me think that it's time for me to return to posting stand-alone threads of my own.

[nolabear]

146. I sympathize with that; I jump in and out according to how occupied I am.

But as with MFM's posts I do read a lot of these and don't say anything.

[pacalo]

148. I've been thinking, Amerigo...

maybe it's too picture-heavy for people to open now? We could save all the links that we want MFM to see & begin posting new threads.

A BIG THANKS for all you do, Amerigo!

:applause:

:hug:

[Amerigo Vespucci]

152. Maybe, I don't know...I know he's gonna love the photos, but...

...maybe I need to ask the Mods to shut this one down and start "Return of the Son of I Want To Create A etc. etc. etc."

I'll think it over and decide tomorrow. Meanwhile, thank you too for keeping this one going!

[pacalo]

153. I was thinking of the same idea earlier today. The "son of the son of the thread..."

Some people have dial-up modems (or servers? I'm self-taught in computers. :) ) & they may find opening this difficult.

I use my iPhone almost exclusively because I can do other things at the same time, & even using the highest digital speed available, it's loading slow for me. Oh, & after I downloaded a lot of pictures to use in this thread, I got a text from my provider warning me that I've used 65% of my monthly usage allowance. My billing period for June begins on Tuesday, but I've been laying low on posting pictures until then.

Thanks, AV!

[pacalo]

147. Thanks for calling attention to the effort it takes to find the material.

MFM's signature line explains the low responses best: the humor is not for EVERYONE, but those who have that inner-child playfulness at heart appreciate his work to make the effort worthwhile.

I was already familiar with Amerigo's good sense of humor & great writing before I began lurking in the Lounge for a change of pace, but I was just blown away when I began reading MFM's posts. He made me laugh & there's nothing better than that, imo. I liked his style of humor to the nth degree. And I've been at the Lounge as much now as I am on the more serious forums.

:hi:

[GoCubsGo]

145. Time for a kick.

[rurallib]

149. Kick!

[marzipanni]

150. IFM sends his get well wishes from Jamaica to you, MFM!

IndexFingerMon, The Musical Doctor, wheely, wheely wants you to heal up and feel wheely, wheely good! Yah, Mon!

[pacalo]

151. That is AWESOME!

"IndexFingerMon" is worthy of the "why didn't someone think of that" status.

You should make it a running joke: MFM's Jamaican friend. :thumbsup:

[pacalo]

154. One of MFM's favorite movie lines is "Nobody's Perfect".

Here's what happened after the movie ended...

[pacalo]

155. MiddleFingerMom kept MiddleFingerMomMom on her toes &, wow, she was QUICK on

her feet when MiddleFingerMom gave MiddleFingerMomTom the business...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E6QNohS62Ok&sns=em

[pacalo]

156. MiddleFingerMom, would you ask one of your doctors WHY more doctors recommended

this brand more than any others? And WHAT was its super ingredient that could change a user's mood so drastically just MINUTES after taking it?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtpuEDqFdmA&sns=em

[pacalo]

157. Watch for a possible clue in this version...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYZRDWzsovI&sns=em

[Amerigo Vespucci]

158. MFM finds new and interesting ways to pass the time during recovery...

:-)

[pacalo]

160. How about a bag of chips with that?

(oldie but goodie)

[Amerigo Vespucci]

161. I love birds, just love 'em...

...not in an "Audubon Society" way where I go "field watching" and identify them by their markings. That kind of stuff I could care less about. I love their personalities. Sometimes they're like cats with feathers.

:rofl:

[pacalo]

164. I like listening to them & watching them hop around in my backyard.

I spotted a nest in my hollyberry trees in the backyard years ago & I just melted when I saw all the small items that were used to build it. The one item I can remember was the dryer lint. :)

[Amerigo Vespucci]

166. Mourning doves are a trip and a half.

A beautiful bird, for starters, but they have a LOT of quirks.



They don't feed from feeders, only from the ground, but if you use a feeder, the smaller birds like sparrows and finches scatter seed everywhere anyway, so the mourning doves kind of hang out in the trees and on fences or roofs and watch for that kind of activity, and then it's "dinner is served."

One time I watered the lawn and a mourning dove went out on the grass, after the sprinkler stopped, and burrowed...just surrounded itself with the cool, wet grass. I've seen them do the same thing in the dirt, under a shady tree.

And sometimes, when several of them are feeding, one will have what only can be described as a "hissy fit"...chasing one of the others around in a circle, then they both stop, then they go back to eating.

My favorite part, though, is when they are just hanging out, checking out the lay of the land...they look so serene.

[pacalo]

170. From now on, I'm going to be watching for them.

I don't know much about birds but I enjoy their chirping & exploring. We've got a lot of brown birds ( :) ) living in our trees; it sounds like a convention in the early evenings. Hopefully, I'll see some mourning doves.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

159. How to know when you have a dollar bill that used to be in MFM's wallet...

:-)

[nolabear]

177. ROTFL! I admit it. I do.

[MilesColtrane]

163. MFM always loved the beach as a child.

But, he wasn't into it for the sand castles.

[pacalo]

165. MFM would have posted that EXACT thought.

(And probably DID have Roman hands at that age.)

:)

[Amerigo Vespucci]

167. MFM DID NOT APPRECIATE the prank nurses played after his daily rectal thermometer reading...

:rofl:

[nolabear]

178. MFM is PREGNANT? Well THAT explains a lot.

It's not every day somebody gives birth to a LittleBrotherMiddleFinger.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

168. MFM returns home to discover his gardeners took some shortcuts while re-sodding his lawn...

:-)

[pacalo]

169. If you're not there standing over them, ANYTHING'S possible when it comes to shoddy work.

[Kali]

171. laughing my fat ass off here

one post at a time (fucking dial up)

I vote to keep this going at least until he gets back on line in some way

that is if you guys can do it. Yes MFM is good, really good, at comedy but I have to say there are a LOT of talented funny people here and I hope none of you takes the "lounge is boring with out MFM" comments for anything more than people missing him like I know we all do.

YOU ALL ROCK!!! :yourock: :headbang: :applause: :woohoo: :applause: :rofl: :patriot:

[pacalo]

172. MFM is inspiring material -- he's a funny guy who can take all the ribbing.

He's truly one of a kind who draws the fun out of everyone else, whether it's responding back to him or just from reading his posts, getting a chuckle, then moving on.

If Amerigo's willing to continue with this thread, so am I.

Thanks to you & CalPeggy for ALL that you do.

:hi:

[Amerigo Vespucci]

176. I will admit that I thought the "Lounge is not funny / the same without MFM" comments SUCKED.

And I didn't feel that way because of me, because like Pee Wee Herman said in Pee Wee's Big Adventure, "I'm a rebel, Dottie."

It's not fair to people like Mr. Scorpio, who goes out of his way to "DJ" the best music clips he can find, from mainstream to the obscure. He puts the same amount of effort into his threads as MFM.

There are other people who post music clips, jokes, photos, all kinds of esoterica, and their efforts aren't diminished because of what MFM does.

DU is a community. It's not about me, it's not about MFM. He and I are two members of the community. And yeah, he certainly knows how to tickle the ribs, and it's great to celebrate that, and the people who express that by saying the rest of us suck can kiss my royal Italian ass.

It is possible to lift someone up without tearing the rest of us down.

I feel a lot better after getting that off my chest. I don't blame MFM, he's just dancing to the beat of his own individual drummer. I do think there are some people on DU, however, who should take a fucking moment and think before they start typing.

[pacalo]

173. MiddleFingerMom's room could use some of these...

And through the magic of the internets I've gotten the directions.

Take the interstate & exit here...





Turn right on this boulevard...




Turn left on MAINE Street, go two blocks until you see this sign (btw, they sell EVERYTHING)...

[pacalo]

174. MFM's neighbor, Mrs. Hussey, has more news for him about goings-on in the neighborhood.

Skip Towne was arrested after he had a disagreement with his barber.  

Skip wanted a mohawk but the barber misinterpreted Skip's description, "a line down the middle", & all hell broke loose after Skip looked into the mirror.





Mrs. Hussey said Skip wasn't fully to blame.  She thought you might remember another incident when Darren Deeds angrily walked out of that barbershop with a strange strawberry taffy-pull 'do...





MFM now has a CELEBRITY as a neighbor.  NAPOLEON DYNAMITE is all grown up now & isn't as timid as he used to be...





Dilbert Pickles now thinks he's Davy Crockett.  He likes to go to Hussey's General Store every day & will tell anyone who'll listen about his days as a frontiersman & about the Alamo.





Ginger Pickles, Dilbert's wife, isn't doing any better.  She created a new recipe called SKATE WHEEL cookies & she's eating way too many of them.




Mrs. Hussey sends her best wishes to MFM.  

"Behave yourself with all those pretty nurses!  Remember how Ben Dover couldn't keep his hands to himself?"

[Phentex]

175. Now you know MFM's gonna want that

strawberry do!

Maybe on of the nurses can do it for him.

[pacalo]

180. The Bonomo? Heck, YEAH!

:rofl:

[solara]

290. love this!

:rofl:

[nolabear]

179. MFM Puts the "Special" in Special K.

[pacalo]

181. What a SWEETHEART! I just want to hug him!

:rofl:

[Amerigo Vespucci]

182. MFM notices strategically placed "monitors" outside his hospital room window...

[pacalo]

184. Hahaaa! That is the SWEETEST little monitor, Amerigo!

:thumbsup:

[pacalo]

183. MFM has been immortalized! Well, make that a PART of him...

The Silver Bullet Committee, comprising of UMC's anesthesiologists, pharmacists, & nurses, has commissioned a sculpture on a huge portion of the Santa Catalina Mountains.

"The sculpture", explained Dr. Emma Roids, "was inspired by four of our patients who have given our medical staff the most entertainment value while being under the influence of pain management drugs."

The four patients who were chosen for the sculpture are, from left to right:  Neal Lowe, MFM, Harry Doohan, & Mike Easter.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

185. Meanwhile, back at MFM's house, it's a classic case of "while the cat's away..."

:-)

[pacalo]

186. I had been wondering what the critters were up to since MFM's been away!

After tomorrow, MFM will have his new laptop & will be able to reach out to the outside world...

[pacalo]

187. "Like milligrams from a DEMEROL capsule, so are the "TRAYS of Our Lives"...

[Amerigo Vespucci]

188. ACTUAL PHOTO of MFM recovering nicely at the hospital

[nolabear]

189. Kick for another surgery to install bigger pecs for MFM.

What?

[pacalo]

190. With the details of MFM's surgery experiences slowly emerging, we now know...

What happened during the first surgery...





What MFM's doctor told him after the first surgery...





Now, here's where the post-op information got murky.  One surgical nurse reported this result...





And an administrative clerk told this version...




Stay tuned...

[Amerigo Vespucci]

191. MFM's pets miss him terribly, but have found ways to cope in his absence...

:-)

[pacalo]

192. This morning MiddleFingerMom realized he's been in the hospital FAR TOO LONG...

...when he began seeing BEDPANS on everyone who came into the room:

[Amerigo Vespucci]

193. UPDATE: While MFM's away, the cats will...er, that is, I mean...

:eyes:

[pacalo]

194. And after they made such a spectacle of themselves, one of them

helped himself to MFM's beer & vegged out on the couch.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

195. The best part is that "Ah, leave me alone" swipe of the paw at the end...

:rofl:

[pacalo]

198. Hahaaa! I forgot to mention the OTHER one's nerviness...

:rofl:

[pacalo]

199. Oh...

I sincerely didn't look at that picture really good before I posted it, only the caption.

:blush:

:hide:

[Amerigo Vespucci]

196. The best part is that "Ah, leave me alone" swipe of the paw at the end...

:rofl:

[pacalo]

200. Mrs. Wiggums, MFM's newsy neighbor, has more news about the neighborhood.

But first, I apologize to Mrs. Wiggums for getting her confused with Mrs. Hussey in an earlier thread.

Mrs. Wiggums was NOT HAPPY with the mix-up...






Once she gave me what-for, she told me your friends REALLY MISS having you around.  And they were sad that you weren't able to be there at Henry Etta's birthday party...








I don't think she even REALIZES it, but Henry Etta's mom showed up at the party with the COOLEST scarf...







Anita Hankey is going to make her special lime-buttered salmon dish for you when you get home.  Doesn't that sound APPETIZING?

Mrs. Wiggums isn't the best at taking pictures, but she said you'd recognize Anita's legs...







Mrs. Wiggums said arrangements had been made with Bill Loney to assist you when you returned home, but we had to find someone else.

Bill got a job at Hussey's General Store & he's so into his work that he dresses up in a costume every day & INSISTS his name is "Vegeta of the Z Fighters".

Whenever a customer asks about an item in the case, Bill...uh, VEGETA, says, 

"We must gather more intelligence before we act, it's too dangerous!"





But that's alright; we were pleased to find two ladies to alternate shifts in taking care of you.

Shanda Lear will take the morning shift...







And, since she's a night owl, Iona Ford will be with you in the evenings.  Btw, MFM, you aren't prone to nightmares, are you?

[pacalo]

208. Dang it, those two young ladies can't work the weekends, but Mrs. Wiggums' granddaughter

said she'd be delighted to watch over you during the weekends.

[sarge43]

201. Some government issued humor for Sweetie

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQWW1Qp5O_A

[pacalo]

202. :tap tap: "Excuse me, MFM...EXCUSE ME!" :tap tap:

[pacalo]

203. Knock, knock!

"Who's there?"

"Ima."

"Ima who?"

"Ima Missen MiddleFingerMom!"

[Amerigo Vespucci]

204. MFM's cat finds his "roomatiz' medicine..."

:-)

[solara]

291. Hilarious!

:rofl:

[laylah]

205. What talent! Kickin'

for the quick return of MFM. :grouphug:

[pacalo]

207. Thanks for kicking, laylah!

I'm anxious for MFM to return, but at least we have Amerigo in his absence. I've been a big follower of Amerigo's humor for a long time.

:thumbsup:

:grouphug:

[pacalo]

206. MFM's all packed for the move to rehab...

I sure wish I could get a peek inside those boxes. :rofl:

[pacalo]

209. Anticipating MFM's moving to the rehab facility soon, his doctor stopped by

to give MFM one last bottle of pills to take with him...

[Amerigo Vespucci]

210. In his elementary school days, MFM instructed his adversairies to "speak to the horn..."

:-)

[pacalo]

212. Ah, memories...

:rofl:

[Amerigo Vespucci]

211. MFM has made many new friends at the hospital, and they all watch each others' backs...

:eyes:

[pacalo]

213. MFM is going to be eating GOOOOD when he gets back home!

Another neighbor of MFM's is planning to make her SPECIALTY DISH for him, an epicurean delight that's been in her family for generations.

Ginger Vitus is already keeping an eye out for choice chicken gizzards to make her heavenly Chicken Gizzard & Rice Casserole recipe.   

[pacalo]

214. Very hungry for ANYTHING other than hospital food, MFM had a weird dream last night.

Perhaps Saturday's Belmont race was on his mind, too...

[Amerigo Vespucci]

215. That horse looks like he's ready to go "Cujo" over that hat

The jockey looks like he's into it.

The horse, not so much.

:rofl:

[pacalo]

216. Lucky for the jockey, it was only a nightmare.

:rofl:

[pacalo]

217. It must be near the time for going to rehab -- MFM got his t-shirt today!

And, according to my records ;) , he'll be meeting his physical therapist tomorrow.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

218. Left alone in the house for days during MFM's surgery, his pets slowly succumb to "cabin fever"...

:-)

[Amerigo Vespucci]

219. MFM discovers that the hospital has software that prevents him from uploading photos of his ass...

:-)

[pacalo]

222. Wow, they don't tolerate MUCH, do they?

I laughed out loud at this group of pictures, Amerigo. :rofl:

[Amerigo Vespucci]

220. With pressure building for DAYS, MFM is foced to break wind in a room he BELIEVED TO BE empty...

:-)

[solara]

292. Ohh, man you are cracking me up!

Yer a very funny guy, Amerigo!

:rofl: I have been laughing out loud all morning as I read this amazing thread!

[Amerigo Vespucci]

221. MFM's lunch arrives, tells nurse "Er...I think I'll have a salad instead."

:-)

[pacalo]

223. MFM met his new physical therapy team today.

"Hello, MFM!  I'm Jim Strain & I will be the senior therapist in charge of your physical recovery..."






Noting the concerned look on MFM's face, Jim quickly added, "Don't let this intimidate you, MFM.  We won't attempt THIS position until your THIRD DAY here."

"Just a little PT humor there, heh heh.  Let me just HOP OFF this table to show you around..."






(What a show-off. :eyes: )

"Come this way," said Jim, as he guided MFM to another room.






Finally having unlocked the last bolt, Jim opened the heavy door.

"We conduct our stretching & conditioning exercises in here..."






"Now, if you'll wait right here, I have a SURPRISE for you..."

LATER...

[Phentex]

227. These are great!...

he's going to love this thread!

:D

[pacalo]

224. MFM could probably use a peppy song today...

:toast:

[Amerigo Vespucci]

225. Yet another KICK until MFM fires up the frikken LAPTOP.

[pacalo]

226. And another...

Anxiously waiting to welcome MFM back to the pig-nic.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

229. I just gave you a shout-out in CaliforniaPeggy's latest thread...

...for everything you've done to keep this thread kicked.

I know some people are probably not participating because it is so pic-heavy and doesn't play well on dialup.

But everyone else? Come on...show the love.

:toast:

[pacalo]

232. I could just HUG YOU!

:hug:

That means A LOT coming from you, Amerigo. Thanks so much!

:blush:

[abq e streeter]

228. Another kick

although I guess it just got kicked to the top anyway.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

230. Definitely appreciated!

I know I could ask to have this shut down, as I did with the first thread, and start a new one...but I figure if it's not excessive in the worst possible way, how could MFM possibly enjoy it?

So I'll continue to kick it, and the minute the S.O.B. replies, this thread is going DOWN...swingin'...like Benny Goodman. It's going down...swingin'...Like Sonny Liston.*

:rofl:

.
.
.
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.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
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.
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*hat tip to T.P. fans everywhere.

[DoBotherMe]

231. Kick

HI MFM, I'M STILL YELLING! WOOHOO! Dana ; )

[pacalo]

233. "False alarm! That short keyboard exercise sure was fun, though. Looks like

MFM won't be using us again for awhile. We're so BORED!"

[Amerigo Vespucci]

234. MiddleFingerMom can't wait to get in the water and play with Flipper...

:eyes:

[pacalo]

236. Awww, look at that toothy smile...

:scared:

[Amerigo Vespucci]

235. As a child, MiddleFingerMom enjoyed romping with the MiddleFingerFamilyPets...

:-)

[pacalo]

237. Kicking for MFM to find easily -- looks like he may be around! :)

[Amerigo Vespucci]

238. I posted the link for this thread in the one he posted earlier...

...so come ON, MFM, post a reply here and bookmark this sucker so we can take it out behind the barn like Old Yeller and...

...OOOPS. No spoilers!

:rofl:

[rurallib]

239. Middle finger who?????

"Middle-Finger-Mom's elegance in underwear"

[WildEyedLiberal]

240. This is a great thread!

What a great tribute to MFM :rofl:

[pacalo]

241. The idea was to keep MFM's spirit here in the lounge while he's in the mechanic shop.

:hi:

[WildEyedLiberal]

242. It is definitely succeeding

You guys are just as awesome as MFM and I am sure he'll tell you the same when he sees it... once he's done laughing his ass off ;)

[kimi]

244. I've just gone through this thread

Meant to earlier, but with other stuff going on, and worrying, I didn't.

Honestly, you guys rock. I can't say that any other way. This thread has just busted me up, and if MFM loses stitches laughing his butt off over some of this stuff, it's all your fault(s). :)


As well, I'm stealing a lot of the images here, just cause. I'm so totally pleased that MFM is posting again, and that y'all kept this thread going. It serves a purpose, and not just for MFM. Sharing the humor, oughtta be the by-line here.

Thanks again.

[pacalo]

248. Thanks so much, kimi! And you're most welcome to the images.

:hi:

[MiddleFingerMom]

245. Especially Amerigo and pacalo...but for EVERYone who participated in this...

.
.
...THANK YOU for this for several reasons.
.
.
It is certainly gratifying to see all the admiration and concern and camaraderie
and even love expressed here. There have been times in the last few weeks when
I just wanted to give up -- excruciating and plate tectonics come to mind -- but
even without access, I knew what was going on back here and one of the MAIN things
that kept me afloat was the thought of returning to you ALL and basking in that
sense of community/friendship/humanity that I have found here.
.
,
I still have no stamina and will end this before I get to my usual blahblahblah...
but I definitely wanted to thank you from the bottom of my recycled heart.
.
.
I am proud and grateful to be a part of you all.
.
.
.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

246. It's been a pleasure, MFM...

...like I said after the last "I Want To Etc Etc Etc" thread I created for you, what's been posted here...and in the Kali and CaliforniaPeggy and other threads...ought to give you a pretty accurate picture of how this community feels about having you as a member.

Get well, don't give up...here, look at this photo of the side of my church that I took a couple of years ago if you ever need a visual reminder, but don't give up. Just keep on rockin' in the free world.



I think the people who post the ongoing "DU isn't what it used to be" threads, whining and moaning about imaginary "better days" on this site, could learn a lesson or two from what's transpired during your "vacation"...DU most certainly is "what it used to be," and more. These folks have heart.

Welcome home.

Mike

[pacalo]

247. Keep thinking, 'This pain is only temporary; it won't last & I'm going to be feeling A LOT better.'

You've finally gotten through the procedure, it's OVER -- & you're going to feel better & better, but it's going to take time. Be patient.

This thread was one thing we could do to cheer you up, while keeping your spirit going in the lounge while you were away. I don't know about Amerigo, but I must have had an angel on my shoulder because the ideas kept flowing -- probably due more to the fact that you're such GOOD MATERIAL! And that we love & miss you!

Just GET BETTER! Waiting for you to come back is like a kid waiting for Christmas. :)

:hug:

[nolabear]

251. 'Cept THIS time the naughty kids get the goodies!

[snagglepuss]

253. Awesome thread. You and AV have tons of heart. MFM couldn't ask for a

more healing gift.


:applause:

[nolabear]

250. I think it was good for us as well.

I know I have felt enormous pride in seeing how caring and generous Lounge folk are, and how much you bring that out in people. hat, mon cher, is a gift.

[pacalo]

249. Giving this a nudge...

[pacalo]

254. Here's the scene from UMC today...

[Kali]

255. bwahahahahha

good one!

[pacalo]

256. Thanks for the nudge, Kali! He's back!!!!!

[Riftaxe]

257. I saw a mouse!

did anyone else see the mouse? (bump)

[LynneSin]

258. Is he out yet?

:shrug:

[Amerigo Vespucci]

259. No, Kali posted that he had to go back in to have a post-surgery blood clot removed

They supposedly did that, and said his vital signs are all good, so hopefully this is the last of it and he can just recover now.

[LynneSin]

261. well then someone is slacking on their job to keep this thread bumped

I guess I'm the only one that cares about MFM

:D

[Amerigo Vespucci]

262. And that means you get a cookie...your choice!

I'd go with the chocolate chip myself.

:-)

[LynneSin]

264. Yes but I'm an Oatmeal Raisen cookie fan

thank you!

[pacalo]

265. Thanks for giving this thread more COWBELL, LynneSin!

[nolabear]

260. I guess you're wondering why I called you all here...

Just kicking. Get well, MFM, get well. I go on vacation in a couple of weeks and I can't be compulsively checking on yo' ass.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

263. "In theory," you COULD be the 300th poster in THIS thread...

...we only have 40 posts to go, you know?

:-)

[pacalo]

266. Thanks, nolabear!

[Amerigo Vespucci]

267. MiddleFingerMom decided wearing pants wasn't a bad idea the day he saw THIS on a branch outside.

:-)

[pacalo]

268. Kinda like a lizard latches onto a human's ear...like FOREVER.

And MFM wasn't taking any chances on learning firsthand what a koala might latch onto.

:scared:

[Amerigo Vespucci]

269. MFM has always struggled with the concept of seeing himself as a "snack"...

...whereas most branch-dwellers only hear the dinner bell.

And MFM, if you're reading this, you and I both know "snack" is the right word to use in this situation.

:rofl:

[marzipanni]

272. Koalas are cuddly. That's a

LEMUR!

[sarge43]

270. Following his operation, MFM's health care team

had to take extreme steps to get him to stop smoking.

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/1464005/23_ways_to_stop_smoking/

[pacalo]

271. :STOMP STOMP STOMPING down the UMC-PT hallway:

"Where's the therapist who over-worked MFM -- I'd like to have a WORD with him."

[sarge43]

273. Well, at least he's wearing pants -- for a change. n/t

[pacalo]

277. Let's just hope that big-boy underwear was INTIMIDATING enough to straighten out

that therapist.

:rofl:

[pacalo]

274. MFM has been in the hospital SO LONG, UMC has decided to dedicate their new wing to him...

Conveniently & appropriately with the backdrop of a most UNUSUAL but FITTING section of the Santa Catalina Mountains...







It will have a statue in the courtyard...







With lovely & SPECIALLY cultivated cactus surrounding the courtyard...







There will be a gift shop offering the most UNUSUAL rememberance items in MFM's name, like this unique RING HOLDER for the ladies...







And this T-SHIRT for all ages...

[Amerigo Vespucci]

275. I understand the Board of Health shut down the coffee shop...

...initially they thought the kitchen staff wasn't wearing pants, but they allowed MFM to re-open it once he explained that they were wearing their standard uniform, flesh-colored Speedos.



:rofl:

[pacalo]

276. And in keeping with those MFM-inspired uniforms, they really should change the color of their UNIQUE

coffee mugs from white to beige, as well...

[pacalo]

278. Mrs. Wiggums, bless her soul, found a couple of guys to take care of MFM's yard work.

She'll be updating MFM with more news about the neighborhood when she has more time to chat, but for now, let's talk about the yard work volunteers...

Mel Loewe will be handling the grass cutting:






And a man who calls himself the WORLD'S STRONGEST REDNECK was glad to get more practice with his UNIQUE chainsaw skill on MFM's hedges:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqQve37_kwY&sns=em

[pacalo]

279. She rounded up one more -- Lou Tennent will clear away the leaves & debris.

[pacalo]

280. Mrs. Wiggums called this morning with more news about MFM's neighborhood.

Ben Lyon & his wife are getting a divorce.  The last straw of their shaky marriage was when their young daughter came into the living room wearing Daddy's "socks".






But the happy news is Anita Brillo is FINALLY engaged.  She & Ajax Klenzer are registered at Tim Burr's Hardware Store.







Pete Sahut is making jewelry now & is making extra money selling it at the local farmer's market on Saturdays.







Here is an interested customer looking at Pete's jewelry display, trying to choose the perfect bling to set off her outfit...





Mrs. Wiggums' nephew has invented a new product to sell on e-bay.  Frankly, she's worried about him.







But the talk of the town this week is that Ty Tannick auditioned for "Project Runway" & wasn't selected.   Tim Gunn suggested that Ty consider trying out for "Extreme Makeover".  Is that still on the air?

[pacalo]

281. I'm not sure MFM saw this, so I'm re-posting it...

MFM's physical therapy center seems to fit his personality. PLUS, it's a remarkable institution in many ways.

The therapists are inventive go-getters, particularly in raising money to keep its department stocked up in top-of-the-line equipment.







Right inside the entrance, Mrs. Barb Dwyer always greets incoming patients & pharmaceutical/medical supplies salesmen with a WARM smile.







She directs them to the beautiful lobby, where everyone is made to feel uninhibitedly AT HOME.







Here is Robin Paper, who is one of the chief physical therapists, on her way back to work after her break.







Frequent breaks are COMMON in the PT department since MFM's transfer. MFM knows how to work his charm in order to make his stay as comfortable as possible.

MFM's new best buddy is Howie Doohan, the assistant who runs errands for the therapists (& MFM).







If MFM is still in bondage by the weekend, Howie has promised to put MFM's sign out by the highway leading up to the hospital.

[Phentex]

282. Good ones!...

sure to please!

:)

[Amerigo Vespucci]

283. Nurses constantly come to MFM's room to use his "special" water cooler, claiming theirs is "broken"

:-)

[pacalo]

284. That explains why the nurses ambushed the PT who over-worked MFM.

:fistbump:

[Amerigo Vespucci]

285. What makes that photo is the pretzel stick "tusks"...

...there's always a moment when you're punking your buddy in a photo where you think "How much is too much? When have I gone too far?"

I imagine the terrorists who orchestrated this set-up did everything EXCEPT the pretzel sticks and said "What do you think? Is that enough?"

Then there was the "AHA!" moment and they said "NO! We forgot the most important part!" Then the tusks were added, they snapped the shot, and they knew their job was done.

:rofl:

[nolabear]

286. Okay NOBODY post number 300 until 8 pm PDT tonight!!

Oh, okay, if it'll help the cause post all you want, but I'll be back.

Got to go do my bit for teaching poetry to kiddies.

BEHAVE.

[pacalo]

293. That's reserved for you, nolabear.

Just be ready in case we get close. If you snooze, you lose. ;)

[LiberalAndProud]

289. Funny, funny thread.

:applause:


I lack the gene it takes to contribute to the funny, but I sure do appreciate. Well done!

[Amerigo Vespucci]

294. Thank you very much...

...one of my favorite aspects of posting a thread that tickles MFM's fancy is that he will often reply with "OK, THAT is stolen for future use!"

And he means it!

:rofl:

So I know this thread is going to represent "grand theft" to him...when he's well enough to plow through the entire thing, thanks to the great people who have contributed, he'll be stealing enough comedy gold for the next couple of years' worth of posts!

:-)

:toast:

[Amerigo Vespucci]

295. Back in his college days, MFM couldn't afford essentials like shampoo, but...

...he always found some kind of alternative.



:-)

[pacalo]

302. That is sooooo sweet!

[Amerigo Vespucci]

296. Since MFM's extended absence, MiddleFingerKittyCat has gone through DEEP "separation anxiety"

:-)

[Amerigo Vespucci]

297. Despite the MANY inconveniences of his hospital stay, MFM gave thanks daily for INSTANT UNDERPANTS.

Although once he added water, he often left his room without underpants, so no one really knows why he was so "thankful."



:rofl:

[Amerigo Vespucci]

298. The hospital COULDN'T UNDERSTAND why MFM requested 200 lbs. of Purina Goat Chow...

..."You don't have a goat," they said.

"NO," he replied, "But I can sure get one NOW!"

http://i.ebayimg.com/08/!BUvyPs!B2k~$%28KGrHgoOKi4EjlLmZ,1SBKPDlq5qfg~~_35.JPG

:grouphug:

[Amerigo Vespucci]

299. DU waited ANXIOUSLY to see if NOLABEAR would post in the coveted 300th post spot.

:-)

[pacalo]

301. I'm disappointed for nolabear that she missed out on the 300th post.

I was gone all day today (my mom's 80th birthday celebration) & I posted without thinking about the post count.

:spank: on me!

Sorry, nola! :hug:

[Amerigo Vespucci]

303. Oh well...she only has to wait for another 100 posts to hit lucky 400...

...or another 200 for that MAGIC 500.

:rofl:

[nolabear]

310. *moannnnn* See downthread.

[pacalo]

300. MFM's doctor held a press conference this morning for the DU Lounge...

"I assure you", began Dr. Finkster, "MFM is in good hands with our surgical staff."







"My assistant, Dr. Bassick, is in charge of the surgical residents & he makes sure all are well versed in the intracacies of MFM's upper body..."







"Our residents are required to read up on the latest cardiology surgical techniques approved by the AMA."







"Our surgeons can be counted on a moment's notice to conduct emergency surgery with the VERY BEST facilities & equipment provided by Tools 'R' Us..."

"... whether they're dressed in their SUNDAY BEST for a personal event..."






"...or in the middle of one of their coveted smoke breaks."







Concluding the press conference, Dr. Finkster assured, "MFM is in the VERY BEST HANDS, & you can be sure we'll get to the BOTTOM of his troubles in order to get him back to the DU Lounge in tip-top order."

[Amerigo Vespucci]

304. Just like Dean Martin & Jerry Lewis, MFM weathered a BITTER breakup with his former partner...

...they were scheduled to open for The Beatles at their legendary Shea Stadium concert, but an altercation just days before the show ended what many thought would be a long and brilliant career...



:-)

[pacalo]

305. That was PinkyFingerPop, wasn't it? Whatever happened to him?

[pacalo]

306. What MFM's nurses do on their time off...

At the end of her shift, Nurse Abbie Seenia changes into her outfit for her evening gig.  She has her own local cable program, "Fun With Foil", which is filmed in her toolshed.







Althea Thoone likes to get dressed up in her favorite color to go dancing at the Stumble-In Bar...







Reba Dirtchie has been going to Glamour Shots as often as she can on her time off.  She's trying to get the PERFECT photo to use in her wedding announcement...







Ida Whana's parents encourage Ida to spend as much time on her days off at their Whana Sunglasses shop.  She has the perfect hair to subliminally sell more sunglasses.  Business has been good.







Alberto Viofive works on a freelance basis as a celebrity lookalike.  He's hired to attend many parties as Urkel.







And, finally, Lucinda Head also works freelance as a celebrity lookalike.  Business is dwindling for her, though, & it's a shame, considering how much effort Lucinda puts into her Sarah Palin styling...

[pacalo]

307. MFM's doctors have a sense of humor...

Just look at the notes placed on the Coke machine in the doctors' lounge...

[pacalo]

308. What MFM's doctors do on their time off...

Dr. Blewitt is a family man who prefers to spend his free time with his two young sons.  Sometimes, Dr. Blewitt falls asleep on the couch.  After only a short nap, he wakes up to a big surprise...







Dr. Hamm volunteers her off hours entertaining at retirement homes with her delightful singing trio, The Oscar Weimer Hotdogs.







One thing can be said for Dr. Weisenheimer:  there is NO pilfering of medical supplies for his personal use.  His hobby is carpentry & he fashions his OWN mask for his respiratory health...







Dr. Tugmann competes in weight-lifting competitions.  Recently, he had an unfortunate display of frustration when he was unable to lift 200 lbs.







Dr. Gigolo has a secret desire to be a part-time model for jet-setters.  He sent this modeling photo to Barney's, Nordstrom, & Saks Fifth Avenue a year ago, & although he hasn't gotten a reply yet, he's still hoping.

[nolabear]

309. Oh crap. I gotta get less of a life.

Oh well, the dream of 300 is just a faded memory. I do NOT aspire to 400, 0r 350, or 320. Just come home, ya daffy bastid!

[Amerigo Vespucci]

311. Well, the GOOD news, from reading Kali's recent posts, is...

...that if things stay on their current path, he may be out of there...or at least back in rehab...before we hit 400.

:-)

[Amerigo Vespucci]

312. MFM was REALLY GRATEFUL that he read that warning sign BEFORE getting in the pool.

:-)

[Amerigo Vespucci]

313. While MFM has been in the hospital, his attorney has been working on the IPO for his new corporation

:-)

[Amerigo Vespucci]

314. MFM's other business is really taking off in the local chain supermarkets.

:-)

[Amerigo Vespucci]

315. And following his recent penis enlargement surgery, MFM has opened yet another business

:-)

[Amerigo Vespucci]

316. MFM stood at the front door of this business and yelled "FALSE ADVERTISING!"

:-)

[Amerigo Vespucci]

317. On a bus ride in the countryside, MFM taps the driver on the shoulder and asks...

..."How far to Exit 340?"



:-)

[pacalo]

318. MFM's doctor really put the pin in the party hog the other morning...

...when he asked MFM when he had had his last colonoscopy (as if MFM needed any more trouble).

Under the magic of Demerol, MFM couldn't think fast enough, so he blurted out, "It's been YEARS, sonny."

The doctor wrote that down on MFM's chart & the next thing MFM knew, he was being prepped for the test.

The next morning during the procedure, the doctor was AMAZED at what he saw on the monitor...

[pacalo]

319. Whew, I'm glad MFM didn't get his colonoscopy done as an OUT-PATIENT.

Notice the scrolling sign that calls out the out-patient & the procedure.  

And better not complain about the invasiveness because, according to the OTHER sign, it sounds like SKITTLES is in charge...







Can you imagine how embarrassed MFM would have been?!

[rurallib]

320. get home soon

the pets miss you

[pacalo]

321. :ring, ring: :ring, ring: :ring, ring:

[pacalo]

322. There was an incident that occurred at UMC's information desk in the main lobby earlier today.

A confused patient named Wanda Rinn partially dressed herself & wandered out to the lobby on first floor just 20 minutes after her afternoon dose of Demerol.

She stopped at the information desk, thinking that she was at the airport, & attempted to reserve a one-way ticket to the Bahamas from the hospital's proctology department.

The information desk clerk -- not a patient man -- buzzed the nursing assistants to escort Wanda back to her room without resistance.

All is well.

[pacalo]

323. If MFM has another setback, there's another specialist lined up to give it a SHOT...

And Dr. Jackson gives out a parting gift after the procedure...

[pacalo]

324. We've been worried about MFM SO MUCH, it's come to this...

Before going to bed last night, I was shutting down the computer & there MFM was on the computer screen...







When I woke up this morning, the light beaming through the cracks of my bedroom door reminded me of.. 







I went outside to my porch to have a cup of coffee, looked out into the backyard, & there was MFM giving me his "I'm going to be o.k." signal (at least, I HOPE that's what he meant )...







Over to the left, there was a bush greeting me with MFM's signal, too...







I KNOW MFM is going to be fine after he gets over this hump.  :hi:

[pacalo]

325. Meanwhile, at UMC...throughout the ENTIRE hospital..."Attention, please!"

[pacalo]

326. MFM's doctors may be business-like on the SURFACE, but they enjoy fun just like anyone else...

"Stand back...it's Mugsy's turn."

[sarge43]

327. Today's public service announcement: How to spot a meth lab

[pacalo]

328. OMG -- that's goooood, sarge!

:rofl:

[sarge43]

329. Yeah.

A friend sent it to me. It's about perfect.
:spray:

[pacalo]

330. Kali has rallied the troops for MFM!

Introducing...Mismanaged-Healthcare Busters

Been in the hospital longer than expected due to complications that should never have occurred if your insurance company hadn't rushed the doctors to get you out of the hospital, regardless of the danger it might pose to your health?

And now they want to send you home to fend for yourself, when you're not even ready for physical therapy?

"Who you gonna call?"







The Mismanaged-Healthcare Busters!  We'll force the doctors & insurance company to do the right thing!

We've got the equipment to make it happen.  

The neutrona wands accelerated by our proton packs will activate three separate streams to neutralize negative, harmful energies:  immorality, focus on profit, & negligence.

When the evil energies have been neutralized, you can be sure that your doctors & insurance company will put your well-being above profits!  

:hug:  Don't allow them to release you until you know you're ready to go home, MFM.

[pacalo]

331. Mrs. Wiggums' latest news about MFM's neighborhood...

Mrs. Wiggums has been preserving fruits & vegetables in her special-order jars all day with her close friend, Betty Bye, & now that they've finished & Mrs. Wiggums was in a chatty mood, she called to give me an update for MFM.

Here's a picture of Betty Bye:








Mrs. Wiggums has been having a serious problem with horseflies & had to call the exterminator to come out & take a look.  He's been in the business for 32 years & has never seen anything like it...








Remember Skip Towne's incident at the barber -- the mohawk that wasn't cut properly?  Well, it happened again to Jack Dupp.  He told the barber he wanted a "mohawk" but the barber doesn't seem to have the knack for it...








DUer Skittles was in town last week for her niece's confirmation.  She could only stay for one day -- said she had a lot of asses to kick back home -- but she's thinking about you.  Her niece, Dee Dee Stroyer, is such a charming little girl...








Ira Zennett & his wife needed a little help paying their bills so they have put their dog Scatman to work at the mall.  The mall staff said they've never had a more meticulous worker than Scatman...








Little Tim Merrity's parents had to go to a parent-teacher conference last week.  The teacher was concerned about a picture Tim had drawn about his Uncle Bob...







Mrs. Wiggums had to cut short the conversation when it suddenly occurred to her that she hadn't seen her cat all day.  Her cat is almost always near Mrs. Wiggums; I hope she finds him...

[pacalo]

332. Again, for the ENTIRE hospital to hear...

[pacalo]

333. Just peeking in to say...

"Hi, MFM! Are you doing better now?"

[pacalo]

334. :ring, ring: ring, ring: ring, ring:

"Nurses' station.  This is Ms. Fleabag speaking."







"Yes, that's right.  I'm Nurse Gina's replacement until she gets to work.  May I help you?"







"Sponge bath?!  SPONGE BATH?!  Did I hear you correctly?"






"Now, just simmer down -- if you'll keep your shirt on for just 25 more minutes, I'll come down & give you the works!"

[pacalo]

335. Mrs. Wiggums has more news for MFM about the neighborhood.

Remember all those buffalo wings you liked to order from Sal Minella's catering business?

Well, guess what?  It's been closed down temporarily after an unexpected inspection by the board of health.  







The kitchen area was just a mess...





Uben Hadd & his family will be picking up the slack with their flair for heavy-duty barbequing -- just as soon as they get their operator's permit.







Winnie Dapoo has a new dog but she's always losing it...










Hazel Nutt has a night job now working in the office at the It'll Do Motel off the interstate...







Hazel is a little nervous leaving every evening at 11:30 to get there by midnight, so she's got herself a decoy passenger to ride with her...







Oh, before I forget, Mrs. Wiggums saw Arnie Amess having dinner at Hussey's General Store & he said to give you his best!

[pacalo]

336. Unbeknownst to MFM, Sister O'Harlett was fulfilling her volunteer service taking calls

to the nurses' station today, plus making all the announcements on the intercom.

When MFM called the nurses' station this afternoon, it was an unfortunate mistake that Sister O'Harlett pushed the intercom button for ALL to hear...

[pacalo]

337. Well, I see that Nurse Gina has you all tucked in for the evening, MFM...

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.


.
.
.
.
.
.
.
(I know it's not that dismal! :) )

[Amerigo Vespucci]

338. I'm expecting MFM to PERSONALLY respond to EVERY post in this thread...

...I figure it's the LEAST he can do.

ESPECIALLY since CaliforniaPeggy got him that spiffy new laptop.



:-)

Just kidding, CP.

:eyes:

:rofl:

[pacalo]

339. Hahaaaa!

And I'm expecting you to help me out here -- I'm DYING.

:knock, knock: Is this on?

I see the post count go up (is that you, MFM? ;) ), but, dang it, I wish a few would keep it kicked for MFM to easily find.

:hi:

[Amerigo Vespucci]

340. MFM considers the hospital's new policy to be highly unfair

:-)

[Amerigo Vespucci]

341. MiddleFingerPussyCat finds his own unique ways to cope with the absence of his master

:-)

[pacalo]

342. As long as MiddleFingerPussyCat doesn't mess up any of the McGuyver Handymen's repair work

before MFM gets back home, she can have fun with some of MFM's things.

:rofl:

[freshwest]

343. Whoa~ Izzy's cat?

[MilesColtrane]

344. I've heard that MiddleFingerMom's extended hospital stay has...

made him reevaluate his world-view.

He has been looking into an obscure, esoteric Eastern philosophy that makes sense to him.

[pacalo]

345. That sounds like something Adele could help MFM with...

http://www.noob.us/humor/saturday-night-live-cheri-oteri-the-office-slut/

[Amerigo Vespucci]

346. MiddleFingerMom says "Now THIS is MY kind of HOSPITAL!"

:-)

[Amerigo Vespucci]

347. After his LAMENTABLE "Dating Game" appearance, MFM KNEW picking "Bachelorette #3" was a MISTAKE.

:-)

[pacalo]

348. Hahaaaa!

Kicking for now. I've been sitting with my mom after she fell earlier today. Will be there tomorrow night, too. I'll continue kicking/posting when I get a chance.

:hi:

[Amerigo Vespucci]

349. Tell your mom I said I hope she feels better soon

Don't let her read anything in this thread, though. There are a lot of people really misbehaving here.

:-)

[pacalo]

353. Thanks, Amerigo...

I'm going there soon & will pass that along. :)

And, although my mom's cool, it's my last post about Adele the office skank that I wouldn't want her to see.

She used to help me with ideas for my "spelling" stories (using all the words in a spelling lesson) in grade school. Frederich the Frog, my talking dressing table, Stanley the Private Eye who recognized his prey because he had the whitest teeth, having been on the Crest toothpaste team for having the fewest cavities. Mom used to write the funniest notes to my teachers, too; at the time, I wanted to crawl into a hole, but it turned out she was a great asset.

YOU take care of yourself, Amerigo. :hug:

[sarge43]

350. "Ah Mr MFM, not exactly what we had in mind for your post-op therapy."

http://www.newstimes.com/policereports/article/500-pairs-of-panties-stolen-from-Waterbury-area-1470540.php#ixzz1SSdKhIYL

[pacalo]

351. Pssst...just between you & me, sarge, there WAS a surveillance video right outside the store...

...but, luckily for MFM, he was able to scrounge up a disguise for the caper...






Big-boy underwear just doesn't have that COMFORTABLE silkiness, does it?

[sarge43]

354. He did it for his cat Perv ... so he said.

[pacalo]

358. I hope Mrs. Wiggums doesn't find out about it -- the whole neighborhood will know.

[Liberal_in_LA]

352. k&r

[Amerigo Vespucci]

355. Like a true nature's child, MFM was born...born to be WILD.

:-)

[pacalo]

359. Dixie Carter (Designing Women) called them "plumber's pants".

:rofl:

[Amerigo Vespucci]

356. MFM learned his lesson the HARD way, but he now AVOIDS this intersection.

:-)

[Name removed]

357. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[pacalo]

360. It's too bad MFM was unable to attend the neighborhood pot luck party last weekend.

Anita Biermann hosted it & said that the next one MFM will be able to attend will be in his honor.   

After taking in the seventh casserole dish, Anita finally owned up: "Honey, when I said POT LUCK, I wasn't talking about green bean casseroles."







By 9:30, though, the casseroles looked VERY inviting, as did the sandwiches brought by Shirley Mondo...








The king crabs turned out to be a hit.  Not only were they delicious, but when Anita's table wasn't using the claws as doobie clips (not that I would know; this is according to Mrs. Wiggums), Carlotta Tendent was creating quite a hoot with one of the shells...








Millie Watts showed off the eye-catching bling given to her by her boyfriend, Sam DeWelder, for their 6-month anniversary of their first date...








Here's Sam saying goodbye after being dropped off at his home by Millie the next morning...








The pot luck party was a HUGE success...



 



...but Mrs. Wiggums said MFM was very much missed.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

361. That crab hat is re-awakening feelings in me I thought I'd suppressed decades ago...

...I'd say more, but...well, I can't.

:rofl:

This suggests a world of new meanings to Randy Newman's song "You Can Leave Your Hat On."

I'd combine it with that Brando line from "Last Tango In Paris"...

"You can leave your hat on...and pass the butter."

:rofl:

[pacalo]

362. Yes, we don't want any more deleted postings.

It wasn't you who was knighted "Sir Name Removed", was it?

[Amerigo Vespucci]

363. I was a late arrival at the party...

...I have no idea what was posted, but considering the overall depravity factor of this thread, it had to have been pretty bad.

:rofl:

[pacalo]

364. That's what I was thinking, too!

:rofl:

[nolabear]

365. Wow! Everybody's kicked back so much I may have to make those 34 posts myself!

I got a practice to run here, people!!

(You see what you put us through, MFM?)

[nolabear]

366. tickticktick "When I think about you, I reply to myself" tickticktick

:hi:

[nolabear]

367. *sigh* Do I have to do EVERYTHING myself?

[nolabear]

368. Oh to hell with it.

[nolabear]

369. .

[nolabear]

370. .

[nolabear]

371. .

[nolabear]

372. .

[nolabear]

373. .

[nolabear]

374. .

[nolabear]

375. Okay, just 25 to go! Anybody? Anybody? Beuller?

[Amerigo Vespucci]

376. You're just gonna have to be patient and extra-vigilant.

I think the sheer bandwidth bloat of this thread has scared off all but the most faithful. But you NEVER KNOW...you could turn your back on it and BLAM...someone snags that highly coveted 400th spot.

COULD it be you?

SHOULD it be you?

We shall find out...SOON ENOUGH.

:evilgrin:

[Amerigo Vespucci]

378. Let's amuse ourselves with this photo of a rebellious, defiant pup...shall we?

:-)

[pacalo]

379. And if it isn't nolabear, we have a nice parting gift for her,..

[pacalo]

377. :"the party to whom you which to speak - a Mr. Bueller - is not available; I will forward your call"

[nolabear]

380. Yowzah!

[pacalo]

382. We're ALL behind you, but particularly this group...

[nolabear]

383. That is AWESOME. One is even missing a face and made it to the rally!

I feel so *sniff* supported.

[pacalo]

387. That one, bless her heart, was bestowed the "name removed" status

when she tried to show too much petticoat.

:silly:

[madrchsod]

381. get well.........

http://www.boingboing.net/images/__uXQcyL2Lwwk_SRKY-Fvk4lI_AAAAAAAABoY_UcQtO8KE5eE_s1600_Audrey+print+1-1.jpg

[bluesbassman]

384. Here ya go nolabear.

:)

[nolabear]

385. Can't wait til MFM hears our welcome home!

http://youtu.be/i1vH2rjUshk

[pacalo]

388. Awwww!

[pacalo]

386. ECSTATIC that he might be discharged soon, MFM called the information desk today…

...to get the telephone number for the local taxi company to schedule a wild ride to catch up on errands & to get the essentials for his first unsupervised night home in two months.

There was a complication that put a damper on MFM’s excitement.

Here’s how it went:

:ring, ring: :ring, ring: ring, ring:

(the line at the desk picks up, but no response)

MFM: “Hello? Hello? Anyone there?”

Silence.

Utter silence.

MFM: “Why won’t you answer? What’s going on?”

Again, silence. Except for the rustling of paper in the background…& someone asking what Bertha is having for lunch today.

MFM hangs up & dials again.

Same result, except this time, MFM is determined to get to the bottom of this. He wants the taxi cab number & he wants it NOW.

He finds his prized pants, spots his biggest nurses’ assistant buddy, Ringo, & asks him to wheel MFM down to the information desk.

THIS is what MFM saw:
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[pacalo]

389. Giving this another nudge...

[pacalo]

390. Just in case anyone noticed that many of my pictures throughout this thread were missing...

The other day I got the bright idea to organize my pictures in my photobucket account so that I could find what I needed more quickly. I created 3 sub-albums & moved my pictures according to purpose, not knowing that when I moved the pictures I was causing them to disappear.

It wasn't until earlier this evening that I began noticing the missing pictures, so I moved all the pictures back into the original primary album.

It would have broken my heart if MFM wouldn't have gotten a chance to see them. :whew:

[nolabear]

391. Nine

[nolabear]

392. Eight

[nolabear]

393. Seven

[nolabear]

394. Six

[nolabear]

395. Five, five still alive!

[nolabear]

396. Four, four, is he at the door?

[nolabear]

397. THree, three, who's that I see?

[nolabear]

398. Two, two, Honey izzat you?

[nolabear]

399. One! One! Our task is done! Now come back here and have some fun!

[nolabear]

400. Annnnnnnnd here we go!!!

http://youtu.be/leohcvmf8kM

The Official MFM Welcome Back to the Lounge I Finally Did it Baby Post!!!!!

[pacalo]

401. :DING DING DING DING DING!!!:

:BELLS & WHISTLES:

[nolabear]

402. Wait. Where's my car? I thought there was a car.

Oprah would have given me a car.

[pacalo]

404. One car for nolabear, coming right up!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qcYf64aKDJo&sns=em

[nolabear]

405. WOW Seven THOUSAND dollars! And it matches my nail polish!

You're too good to me.

[Kali]

403. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

congrats!!!! I saw it had more than 400 so I just had to load the not-view-all version to see if you were the one.:rofl:


:applause: :woohoo: :yourock: :party: :toast: :bounce:

[nolabear]

406. You betcher boots, Kali. Now let's get that MF MFM HOME!!

My work here is done.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

407. That's super duper, nolabear, but you know...the post that's REALLY coveted is the 500th.

I'm happy for you and all, but...well, congratulations.

Really.

:hide:

:rofl:

[bluesbassman]

408. Do you know the anxiety you just put nolabear under?

You're despicable!

[Amerigo Vespucci]

409. "Yes?"

:rofl:

:toast:

[nolabear]

410. Oh HELL no.

I'm off on vacation tomorrow (though I imagine I'll check in) and let's hope MFM is back in the Lounge cracking his usual wise LONG before we get anywhere near 500.

Nope, they're my laurels and I'm resting on 'em.

[pacalo]

411. MFM’s neighborhood has formed the "P.A.N.T.S. for M.F.M." committee...

...to plan a party for MFM’s long-awaited return home.


The "Planning A Neighborly Tribute Shindig for MFM" committee has had its first meeting at Bubba’s Stumble-In Bar. Many of MFM’s neighbors were eager to submit ideas to make MFM’s homecoming special.


A special thanks to Barnaby Wild for providing movie night for the attendees’ pets. The Animal Planet videos appealed to all varieties.








Some preferred to help in the kitchen instead...








And others wandered off into Bubba’s private office & forgot about the meeting completely...








Frieda Livery (picture below), a member of MFM’s Wii bowling team league, has some unfortunate news for MFM about another team member...










Andy Fayld won’t be able to play on the team for awhile. He’s grounded for 3 months...



http://youtu.be/qyk0A0c2QyA




Zeke Counsel brought his laptop to collect & record all the ideas for entertainment & fun...








Without giving away TOO much information, one of the more interesting ideas came from Ada Burger (shown below, on the left) who suggested a Marilyn Monroe lookalike contest...








Some were excited about the idea...








And some were not...

[pacalo]

412. MiddleFingerMom's doctors checked him out this afternoon...

[Arctic Dave]

413. Narwal Song.

Fuck yeah!



http://www.weebls-stuff.com/songs/Narwhals/


"Just don't let them touch your ball,"

[Amerigo Vespucci]

414. MFM, I am expecting you to respond to EVERY single post in this thread...

...assuming you can open it. I have to click on the sucker and come back after lunch. It's HUGH111...SERIES-ly.

:-)