Boy - do i have a dilemma !

[hedgehog]

It looks like we may be able to talk my elderly MIL into letting me and my kids cook Thanksgiving dinner this year. The plan would be to do all the prep work at home, then bring in the finished results. (My daughter is about a 20 minute drive away - perfect timing for letting a turkey rest before carving!)

the problem: we all are much, much better cooks than my MIL, so things may get awkward.

the 2nd problem: my FIL and BILs are used to my MIl's cooking, and may object to food that actually has flavor, and texture.

No kidding - the first time my SIL joined us for Thanksgiving, he spooned a helping of gravy onto his plate under the impression it was apple sauce.

[LNM]

1. Could you let your MIL cook 1 thing the way she's used to it?

We had that problem too. I let my MIL bring the canned beans with cream of mushroom soup and the canned sweet potatoes topped with marshmellows. There was so much other food I only had small portions of her food. Everybody got what they wanted.

I should add I didn't "let" her. I wanted her to bring that. My kids loved it and they only had it once a year.

[TBA]

2. When I did something similar

I cooked Thanksgiving with a theme - cajun.

I cajun spiced the turkey, had dirty rice instead of traditional dressing etc.

Emphasizing that it was a Cajun Thanksgiving seemed to discourage direct comparison.

[OriginalGeek]

3. Well at least you get real cookin!

MY elderly MIL is done with cooking - and she was a GREAT cook - she never saw a canned anything - I never saw her make anything that she didn't make from scratch - including her own bleu cheese dressing, cakes of every denomination (devils and angels), pecan pies and apple brown betties and hand stuffed (with homemade bavarian cream) eclairs. Her cornbread stuffing is what made me pull the trigger and ask her daughter to marry me. OK, it might have been a few other things too but that stuffing helped!

And the terrible part is that when I was younger I was more picky than I am now (hated most vegetables and didn't like onions in anything) but she ALWAYS made "Me" versions of the dishes without complaining and I ate that shit like I deserved it. What I wouldn't give for her to make any version of those things now and I SWEAR I wouldn't take it for granted this time. I fucking swear.

But she is just too old and can't handle the load and the Alzheimer's is really kicking in and none of us had the foresight to study her ways. My wife has a few recipes but try as we might we never make the things right. MIL's cast iron skillet is older than I am. THat might be part of it.

The only concession I ever saw was she used boxed spaghetti noodles instead of making them. But her all-day sauce more than made up for that. And she did hand-make every dumpling in her chicken and dumplings.

She learned how to make a cheese-cake one year just so I could have a chocolate chip cheesecake for my birthday.
SHe learned how to make some of MY mother's recipes so I wouldn't feel so far from mom (and I would have never told my mom this but MIL made them better lol)

Now for christmas and Thanksgiving we go out. It blows.

[hedgehog]

4. Sorry to hear about that . I'm really with you there; my own mother was

a fantastic cook who made food a real centerpiece of both Thanksgiving and Christmas. Last year she supervised as my daughter and son-in-law cooked everything; we all had a grand time and she passed quietly two weeks later.

That's part of what makes this year so touchy - trying to feel our way forward with family holidays. My kids really want to preserve the feeling and to make their widowed grandfather welcome without excluding their other grandparents.

[OriginalGeek]

5. Sounds like your kids are on the right path

Which most likely means you did a good job with them. I hope it all works out well for you - you can preserve some old traditions and make some new ones.

I probably need to man up and work out some new ones for us. Shouldn't have relied on MIL for so long.

If I can even just get her stuffing close I'll be happy. My father in law passed away several years ago but I'm gonna go over there and see if I can find his turkey fryer. The single best turkey I ever had was his deep fried one with all her trimmings.

My wife is scared I will burn the place down though - and I have to admit it's a valid concern on her part lol...but if there's instructions on the internet I think I can do it...

[Fire Walk With Me]

6. What a dilemma.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIJ4_r8JJho

[ohiosmith]

7. Pack up the car and go here:

I'm pretty sure they are open on Thanksgiving.

[Taverner]

8. Seriously, play dumb and act as if you don't know what you are doing

If it invites interaction, pull back

[RedCloud]

9. Just invite some outlaws to counteract the inlaws