What do you call a bear with no teeth?

[bluesbassman]

A gummy bear.

Those of you with kids in your lives will thank me later. :)

[nolabear]

1. A minister and his wife are discussing what his next sermon will be.

She suggests that doing a sermon with surfing as a metaphor might be nice. He agrees, but when she is too sick to go to church the next Sunday he decides instead to preach on something he'd always wanted to: sex.

The sermon was a great success. But when his wife went into town she ran into Mrs. Smith, who gushed "Your husband's sermon was just wonderful! He's so wise, so knowledgeable!"

To which she replied, "Really? That's amazing. He's only done it twice and he fell off both times!"

Ba-dump ching!

Those of you with parents in your lives will...no, you probably won't. :evilgrin:

[bluesbassman]

2. Love it! I can relate.

Wait, did I just admit something? :rofl:

[zanana1]

3. I need more kid jokes!

I have a twelve year-old coming to visit and I have to keep him entertained.

[ashling]

4. Here's a song

Comet
It makes your mouth turn green
Comet
It tastes like gasoline
Comet
It makes you vomit
So get your Comet and
Vomit TOdaaaaaayyyy!

My daughter came home from 3rd grade singing that. She said that some guy in her class invented it

I told her that whoever told her that was wrong ...

because some guy on my bus in 3rd grade invented it!

[bluesbassman]

5. How about: What do you call a cow wearing a crown?

Dairy Queen.

Good luck with the 12 year old, you're going to need more ammo than these jokes! ;)