How can I be one of their best customers?

[Lionel Mandrake]

The e-mail message began like this:

"Dear Lionel Mandrake,

"We just want to take a quick moment of your time to say thank you for being one of our best customers!

"So in sincere thanks for your continued business, you're getting this exclusive opportunity to save up to 75% off select ..., many of which we've carefully selected and put on sale especially for you! You'll also get an extra 10% off your order, with no minimum purchase required!".

Imagine that. They selected all that stuff just for me.

The only item I ever bought from this company (a few days ago) had been marked down 90%. And now they want to rip my clothes off and kiss me all over my naked body (figuratively speaking). How is this possible?

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. My dear Lionel Mandrake!

Wow! All I can say is: Business must really be awful for them to carry on like that!

Let 'em do it, I say........figuratively speaking...

:P

[Lionel Mandrake]

7. Does it have to be figuratively only?

You won't mind if I let my imagination run wild.

[NightWatcher]

2. Adam & Eve sends that form email to everyone who buys a dildo online

or other type of toy.


:hide:

[Lionel Mandrake]

5. I would never buy a dildo online.

Other toys, maybe.

[Aristus]

3. You're going to have to answer to the Coca-Cola Corporation for this.

B-)

[Lionel Mandrake]

4. Here you go.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DUAK7t3Lf8s

Col. Bat Guano (Keenan Wynn) in action.

[Gidney N Cloyd]

6. Don't confuse 'best' with 'most lucrative.' There may just be a certain *something* about you.

[Lionel Mandrake]

8. Gee I'm glad I'm not a telepath

(to paraphrase Aldous Huxley).