Can a man and a woman be friends?

[NightWatcher]

Poll question: Can a man and a woman be friends?

Or will someday one person will develop feelings for the other person that will mess things up?

Eventually will it lead to freaky feelings in Pantsville that will inevitably screw things up?

And no, I haven't been watching When Harry Met Sally.

I wanna hear stories. And no, I'm not fooling around.

[Chan790]

1. Yes, if they're both happily not-single.

Otherwise no.

[Fire Walk With Me]

2. Sure, they can be bed friends.

I hab a code in my node

[mopinko]

3. only after many years of marriage.

[elleng]

4. Certainly. No joke question?

I'm an attorney (female,) have worked for/with/and supervised men; my longest-term friend in DC, where I worked for 20+ years, is male. I attended his wedding, and he and his wife just attended my daughter's wedding.

[undeterred]

5. Women can be friends with men.

[Kali]

6. yes

of course that doesn't mean everybody, every time

I once screwed up a good friendship with sex long ago, but other than that have had any number of men friends.

[dawg]

7. That's like asking if dynamite can be handled safely.

The answer is "yes". But be very, very careful.

[Odin2005]

8. I'm a guy and most of my friends are women.

I actually don't really relate well to other men my age (20-something), though I get along fine with men older than me.

[Xipe Totec]

9. Same here

at 50-something. Throughout my lifetime, my best friends have been women I love dearly.

[HERVEPA]

22. At 60 something, same here.

[iris27]

10. Heterocentrist much?

If people were incapable of having platonic friendships with anyone of a gender they were attracted to, bi people would pretty much be unable to have any friends.

[dimbear]

11. Generally only many months after puberty.

There's an interval of impossibility, followed by calm.

[nolabear]

12. Yep. I like women but I "get" men better.

And I'm thoroughly hetero female. But women escape me in many ways. Got many women friends, and men make me nuts sometimes, but I get them.

[Lucinda]

13. Absolutely. Most of my friends are men.

There have been occasional twinges of someone being attracted to the other, but it's just a momentary thing and you move past it.

[Kat45]

14. Absolutely.

I'm a woman and most of my friends are men. I wish I had some close girlfriends, but most of the female friends I've had are the kind who disappeared once they got involved with a guy. My best friend is a man who I went out with for 13 years, lived with for 10 of those years. Didn't work for me as a relationship, but we're great as friends. He's like a brother to me, which is cool because I don't have a brother.

[Syrinx]

17. aren't mere friendships, relationships, too?

I understand what you are saying. I'm just wondering when "relationship" became synonymous with sex?

[Kat45]

20. Good point.

I guess the word "relationship" got elevated to one's primary, most "important" if you will, relationship, which generally involves sex. But sex does not necessarily make something that kind of "relationship"--it could be just a 'friends with benefits' thing, and that's a small r friendship type of relationship, not THE big r relationship.

[Syrinx]

34. I'm still struggling with this definition

I had a relationship with my father, rocky at times, but I would definitely call it a relationship. And there were certainly no "benefits" involved. ;)

[Recovered Repug]

15. I'm a guy and my best friend is a woman.

I'll admit that I did have a serious crush on her for a while. Now if we tried anything more it would be like making out with my sister. Not that I've ever made out with my sister.

[MrSlayer]

16. "Men don't have women friends.

We just have women we haven't fucked.......yet." - Chris Rock

[AlienGirl]

18. Ask me and UncleSepp. Well, ask me, as he is sleeping in our bedroom right now

I am trying not to mash the keys too hard as I post; he is a light sleeper.

You want to know what friendship is, the read honest Thing Itself that calls at three in the morning to bawl that there's a new malignancy and that pulls up stakes to move across the country--again--to be there through the chemo bit and the shaking scared bit and the meet-everyone's-parents bit. Friendship is the look in his eyes that says I'm not going to lie, because I respect you as true. Friendship is climbing in bed together just to keep the dark at bay, just a little longer.

Friendship is more noble than love, amd less tawdry and cloying, and way more important, or I would not be up devoting dwindling timr wititing an unabashed friendship letter at this ass-end of morning.

Go and seek the wonderful and miracle-working face of Friendship, it will not disappoint when you have found the True Thing.

Tucker

[Arkansas Granny]

25. You are very fortunate to have a friend like that. They don't come around too often and

should be treasured.

:hug:

[struggle4progress]

26. hope you're doing ok

[Tuesday Afternoon]

28. amen.

:hug:

[fortyfeetunder]

31. Hugs to you Tucker

you have a true friend there, and thank you for the beautiful words.

[AlienGirl]

19. Ask me and UncleSepp. Well, ask me, as he is sleeping in our bedroom right now

I am trying not to mash the keys too hard as I post; he is a light sleeper.

You want to know what friendship is, the read honest Thing Itself that calls at three in the morning to bawl that there's a new malignancy and that pulls up stakes to move across the country--again--to be there through the chemo bit and the shaking scared bit and the meet-everyone's-parents bit. Friendship is the look in his eyes that says I'm not going to lie, because I respect you as true. Friendship is climbing in bed together just to keep the dark at bay, just a little longer.

Friendship is more noble than love, amd less tawdry and cloying, and way more important, or I would not be up devoting dwindling timr wititing an unabashed friendship letter at this ass-end of morning.

Go and seek the wonderful and miracle-working face of Friendship, it will not disappoint when you have found the True Thing.

Tucker

[abelenkpe]

21. I have several male friends

and always have. But 9 out of 10 of them would want to date if I wasn't already attached. Which is OK. Who cares how a friendship starts?

[La Lioness Priyanka]

23. straight people can be so strange about gender. treating it as though it controls

the universe.

[Arkansas Granny]

24. Sure they can. I've been friends with many men over the years.

Actually, I've probably had more good friendships with men than with women, especially as a single woman. I've worked in the construction field for many years and have more contact with men than I do with other women. Frankly, I'd rather work with a bunch of guys any day as there is less drama.

[bigwillq]

27. Yes (nt)

[Withywindle]

29. Definitely yes.

I find this idea that there's ALWAYS some kind of sexual tension going on just weird. Sometimes there is, sure, but plenty of times there just isn't. I'm not that hot! Really! And a lot of my friends aren't either!


I'm also bi, so it's a damn good thing friendships with people of the gender you're attracted to ARE possible, or else I could never have any friends at all!

[fizzgig]

30. i'm a married woman with plenty of male friends

i've always gotten along better with men than women

[Mad_Dem_X]

36. Same here.

I have more male friends than female friends.

[Inchworm]

32. Can you barbeque pineapples?

Indeed! Yummmmm!

:hi:

[fishwax]

33. Of course. And it's not all that difficult or unusual.

I have several friends of the opposite gender, as do most people that I know.

I've always thought the suggestion that it's not possible was pretty silly, even after setting aside the hetero-normativity of assuming that all guys are into girls and vice-versa.

[PhoenixAbove]

35. Yes, Yes, and Yes.

My best friend in high school was a guy. We did date briefly for three months and found out dating wasn't going to cut it for us. We were meant to be friends. It is now almost 30 years later and we are still friends. We see each other three times a week, talk on the phone, trade PMs on Facebook, share music and DVDs, talk politics and keep each other sane. It is a friendship that has lasted longer than most marriages.

I considered myself privileged to have enjoyed such a wonderful platonic relationship with a member of the opposite sex.

[pink-o]

37. I have more men friends than women. And some of those guys are straight!

It took about 15 posts for someone to address the fact that not evey man or every woman is attracted to the opposite gender. So if you took out any chance of sex, you have a very easy friendship.

But even hetero friends of opposite genders can cruise along just fine--albeit, it's heckka easier once you're older and don't have to prove anything! Young people go after sexual partners they really aren't that attracted to just to validate something in themselves, so maybe that's the problem with the hetero male-female friendship when you have people of a certain age. I'm ancient, so I'm just desperately pleased when ANYONE wants to be my friend :hi:

[snooper2]

38. Can a cat and a hamster be lovers?

:shrug: