I want to try and get to the bottom of something that's been bothering me

[warrior1]

for some time.

And that is being ignored, feeling invisible or not acknowledged (respected) by others. Not necessarily here, but IRL.

I guessing that everyone feels this from time to time.

I wonder if it's something you bring on yourself.

That at times you forget about it, but then, it's starts happening again or you start feeling it again.

Is it just feelings or is it real?

Is it necessary that people respect you?

Could it be that most people are in a rush that they forget to asks you, or just don't think that what they're doing is in anyway effecting you.

Do I do this to others?

Is letting go of these emotions that I'm feeling a good thing?

[HopeHoops]

1. Well, unless you're walking around in a t-shirt that says "LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!", I'd say it is

normal. Most people are in just too much of a damn hurry to even say "thank you" when you hold the door for them. Manners are a lost series of concepts.

[warrior1]

2. I guess what bothers me the

most is when people try and take advantage of you. That really bugs the shit out of me. Like, just fucking asks me, and I can say yes or no. Is that so hard?

[seabeyond]

3. sigh....

i really didnt connect with what you were saying, but i do remember when younger i use to feel this often. i have now learned to say "what do you want" and i make the choice of do i want, or dont i, and give appropriate answer.

maybe you are taking things too personally. maybe you arent feeling so great about you and you are now picking up on things, whereas you dont notice other times all the times people connect with you.

but no, i dont generally feel people ignore me, or are rude to me, or whatever. i pretty much put myself out there and there is not a lot of opportunity to be ignored.

but i am not real sure what you are talking about

i didnt want to ignore you though... lol

[dawg]

4. I think we all feel that way from time to time.

Like we are ignored and taken for granted.

:hug:

[warrior1]

6. It just happened again

I was at Trader Joe's in line. I was next in line to the casher and was standing behind my cart when a older lady put her cart right next to mine. I'm not sure what she was trying to do, but I had to excuse myself so I could step around the side of the my cart. I don't know how she couldn't see me because I was right there.

Also, when I walk my dog, my dog gets more attention than I do. He is an ice breaker, but I feel if he wasn't with me, I would just be another person on the street.

I'm too sensitive, I think.

[raccoon]

5. I know the feeling--sometimes feeling like you're a ghost.

I agree with whoever posted that a lot of times people just don't think.

[warrior1]

7. I guess that's true

but it does get old when it keeps happening over and over. I don't want to make a scene in a crowd just to get noticed, because I don't want to assume I can read someone's mind. Maybe I should get a t-shirt that says, HEY, I'm right here!

[MiddleFingerMom]

8. What bothers me most is when I'm talking to someone and someone else comes up...

.
.
.
... and starts talking to the other person without acknowledging the fact
that they've interrupted OUR conversation.
.
.
What's WORSE is if the person I've been speaking with turns to them and
focuses on THAT conversation without saying, "Hey... we're talkin' here...
we're talkin' here!!!"
.
.
I mean... if I'm that fucking boring... the very LEAST they could have done
would have been to Y-A-W-N-N-N-N first.
.
.
.
And don't EVER expect to be the center of attention if you're walking a
dog. ANY dog... but you're fucking DOOMED if it's a LITTLE dog.
.
.
.

[seabeyond]

9. that is so fuckin rude. i am always shocked when someone does that.

not necessarily at the person that interupts, but the person that just ends what another is saying and doesnt get back. they are generally pretty consistent and really says something about them

[warrior1]

10. yup

that's happened to me too MFM.

But, the little dog is innocent.

[Bunny]

11. I wouldn't get too upset over being ignored by strangers in the market or on the street.

I'd be concerned if people close to me began disrespecting me, ignoring me, taking me for granted, etc. That's when you have a problem.

[warrior1]

12. That use to happen

at work before I retired.

Now, no body from work even tries to stay in contact. That is disappointing. I've stop sending them emails.

[pacalo]

14. When people retire they generally go their own way.

It's sad, but this happens to many people.

[astral]

13. This happened to me tonite. I really noticed bow it affected me,

and thought about it. Here's what happened, a gal I know stopped by where I was working that day and asked me what I was doing after, and wanted me to hang with her and go eat, and I said sure, that was fine, even though I had planned to something else, and as we were getting ready to leave she got a call from another galfriend who she was obviously glad to hear from and as the conversation went on she told her she would call her later as soon as she walked me ot my car. . . . and then she told me she was just going to go to the grocery store for some food and then go home. I got in my car and drove a ways down near where I was going to go in the first place and just sat there feeling rejected and pushed aside. Then I decided #1 I wasn't going to let that ruin my evening went back to what I was going to do in the first place, with on a half hour delay from when I was going to get ready. And #2 I was not going to let this gal treat me like this again, and the next time she asks me to do something the answer will be a polite 'no.'

Is an explanation necessary? Well, was it 'about her' or was it 'about me?' In the past I'd been treated kind of like that as a younger person, and I had to ask myself it a 'well-adjusted' person would let something like this hurt their feelings. Well, the answer to that is both 'yes' and 'no.'

But learning how to not be an emotional doormat is a good step in the right direction of breaking a pattern of behavior, or reactionary-behavior, which I don't know if yours is that, but I know mine was.

I hope this makes sense, but either way, I can totally relate to what you're saying. As an aside, I feel I don't have a strong, 'assertive-sounding' voice, and often feel my comments are ignored by others, but not necessarily deliberately, I just go 'un-noticed' when it matters to me NOT to be.