Got building/remodeling stories?

[frogmarch]

I suppose that everyone who ever built or remodeled a house by themselves felt overwhelmed at times while doing it. When we built our house in the boonies, Mr. froggy and I sure did. But we have some really ridiculous memories, and the Mrs. Astor’s pet horses of the world who’ve never crushed their thumbs with hammers, been smacked in the head by two-by-fours, or entertained wild critters in the bathroom can’t say that.

“Hey, Len, if you’re by the closet, would you toss me a roll of toilet paper? Oh, and the yardstick too, please. I think there’s a rattlesnake behind the john.”
“You think there is?”
“I glimpsed something moving. Sounds like a rattler, but I’m afraid to turn around and look.”
“Want me to crack open the door and see?”
“Yeah.”
“Salamander.”
“They rattle?”
“Probably a mouse scratching around in there.”
“Oh good. Not.”
“So forget the yardstick, right?”
“Right, but how about that toilet paper?”

That afternoon Mr. froggy left for work. I was sweeping up some wood shavings when our 4-year-old daughter suddenly cried out from the bathroom:

“Mommeeee! Snake!”

I ran to the bathroom, cracked open the door, and sure enough, there was a snake: a rattler. Rattling its tail buttons, it was coiled a couple of feet from the toilet, with its head pointing at my daughter.

I gave the snake a hard shove with the bristle end of the broom, then snatched up the bathroom wastebasket and covered the snake with it before he knew what was going on. I put a concrete block on top of the overturned wastebasket.

“Can we have cheese and noonles for supper?” my daughter asked, still on the john.

“Cheese and nooDles? Sure.”

“Do sallymanders like noonles?”

“I don’t think so.”

I phoned a neighbor of ours who collected rattlesnakes for a lab that made anti-venom. He came for the snake, and that was that.

Got building or remodeling stories to share? It would be fun to hear some.