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Edited on Sat Oct-29-11 03:21 PM by Tobin S.
I've got a pretty good gig now days. I just started with this company in March of this year and for the first six months I was strictly a local driver. I rarely strayed more than a few miles outside of town. But they gave me an opportunity a couple of months ago doing some work with some miles and distance on it. It was initially just going to be temporary, but I've done a really good job for them so they've kept me on it. There are a few drivers who aren't really happy about that, but they had their shot on the deal. So here I am on the road again 300 miles a day. I'm still home every night so this seems to be the best of both driving worlds to me.
When you have some miles to roll, the gears in your head will start to turn as well. That's the best part about driving for me, aside from making my living at it. It seems to be conducive to new ideas and new insights. It can also work against you as well, I guess, and I've written a few stories about the demons finding me out there on the road. But those demonic conflicts will never be resolved if you try to ignore them. They will forever haunt you at the edge of your consciousness and in your dreams until you finally do battle with them. So, prepare for battle. The prize is priceless and the only person who can stand in your way from attaining it is you.
Okay, that might have been a little melodramatic, but you can allow me a little artistic embellishment, can't you? Besides, it's true, dammit! :D
Those demons of mine came to get me about this time last year and they would not be denied the battle that they so desired. They were telling me that if I could not break the chains that held them to me they would break my brain. There was no medication or therapy that could save me unless I validated them and brought them fully into my consciousness. And on a cool, dark night in the middle of the Utah desert we did battle.
I emerged victorious, but wounded. But it was well worth it. After about a month I began to recover. I felt truly whole for the first time since I was a child, and, incidentally, it was around that time that I met my fiance. We talked for the first time online 10/21/10, had our first date on 11/5, and were engaged on 1/17/11. I've wondered several times if the appearance of Jen wasn't so incidental. I'd been dating for 2 years before I met her and most of them were good women, but I was never able to really hit it off with anyone until I met Jen. Maybe those other women could sense those demons of mine lurking and waiting to emerge. Jen says that we were just meant to be together but couldn't until we had dealt with some issues on our own. She has told me that maybe she had to deal with some demons, too. Who knows?
I've had a lot of good times out on the road; many experiences that make me who I am today and so many pleasant memories. I also have many good stories to share with my friends, like you guys, and I wouldn't trade them for anything. But at the end of the day I was always alone. If you are a loner and are okay with that, I've got nothing against you. I thought I was okay with that lifestyle, and I guess I really could be, but life is so much better for me now that I've found someone.
Maybe some day after we are old and the kids are gone, Jen and I will hit the road and I'll be able to show her the many sights and joys I discovered out there when I was young. It would be the best of both worlds: my love going on adventures with me.
I hope this Saturday finds you well and I wish you happiness in the future. :)
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