In preparation for deep frying my Thanksgiving turkey, I have it soaking in bleach. Is it too late?

[Rabrrrrrr]

I fear that I should have begun the soaking a few weeks ago.

Am I okay if I don't take it out at all, and to avoid exposing it to air just pour the turkey and the bleach together into the deep fryer?

Add some ammonia?

I'm just so scared that I'm taking a risk that I could have avoided by starting earlier.

[Incitatus]

1. No worries.

I'm sure everything will be fine.

:thumbsup:

[ScreamingMeemie]

2. Where is corarose when we need her?

:(

[krispos42]

3. You must love white meat

[ohiosmith]

4. I'm surprised the turkey was so compliant. Thought it would've fought like hell.

:shrug:

[Rabrrrrrr]

5. It took a while, but I won!! Took a lot of tampax down his gullet before he settled down, but I won!

[surrealAmerican]

10. So apparently you've already got the stuffing in too.

Good job!

[SOteric]

24. ..deleting here.

[MilesColtrane]

6. Get rid of the deep fryer.

I suggest you grill the bird.

You'll need the grill slightly hotter than normal though to make sure it is done all the way through.

3 to 5 pounds of liquid oxygen over smoldering coals should bring it up to the necessary cooking temperature.

This technique is displayed below:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjPxDOEdsX8

[Old Troop]

7. You win!! Best comment ever.

[Rabrrrrrr]

8. I remember in the first glorious months of the Web, a professor at Purdue posting such videos

of their engineering barbeques. He tried different combinations of amounts of oxygen, grills, and flame source over the years.

Always fun and hilarious to watch, especially the year they realized that one of those cheapy disposable ones would be entirely vaporized (like in the video you posted). Too funny!

[hunter]

32. Thermite works well too...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SU8iRYbnAb0

[Rabrrrrrr]

34. "And don't burng down your house. Let us do it!" - lol

That's awesome!!!!!!!

It looked a little raw still in the middle, but was otherwise surprisingly evenly cooked through.

[trof]

9. OK, Bunky.. How much bleach? Just add a equal amount of...

rice wine vinegar.
No problem.
Pour the whole thing into the fryer.
For extra crispy, throw in a pound of sliced bacon.
Bon appetit!
:-)

[dimbear]

11. Only the most resistant mutant strains of e coli. can stand up to deep frying.

Your health concerns may be exaggerated some. At any rate, be sure to use a nondetergent bleach, others may leave an unpleasant tang.

[Rabrrrrrr]

17. Ooh - I didn't even think of that, but thankfully I happened to use a non-detergent one.

That was close!

Almost ruined Thanksgiving.

[Kali]

12. don't forget to stuff a bottle of beer up its ass before you drop it in the hot oil!

:9

[BlueJazz]

13. Unlike you peasants, I have my Turkey Dinner prepared by the finest chefs.

[RedCloud]

14. Now play it "jive talking"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_W42rMjYWlk

Then sit on it for two hours.

Then you will have a jive ass turkey!

[Tyrs WolfDaemon]

15. Here is what you need to do:

First, paint your face with some BBQ sauce. Then use the following to bring the Turkey back to life:


Shove your stuffing up the a$$ of your un-dead Turkey.

Now, tie a line to the Turkey's feet. Make sure you do it good and tight, since it will likely be thrashing around wildly.

Now use the line to dunk the un-dead bird, head first, into a large pot of bacon flavored vodka.

Once the un-dead Turkey has drowned in vodka, grill it over an open fire and serve with garlic mashed potatoes.


I hope this helps

[Rabrrrrrr]

16. Mmmm... that would be tasty.

By "open fire" I assume you mean a fire of used tires, styrofoam, and medical waste?

[Tyrs WolfDaemon]

18. Of course!

Now if you had the time, you could do some really fun cooking.

You could dig a small pit and load it with shredded bits of tires and other assorted junk. Light the material and let it burn for a few days.

Now wrap your drowned un-dead turkey in old used fiberglass strips (the pink stuff works the best).

Gently spike the soon-to-be meal in the middle of the burning hell...I mean pit, and then cover it with more shredded junk bits.

Let it slow roast like that for at least five days before digging it up. The fiberglass should now be well melted into a cocoon and intermeshed with the outer layer of bird gristle.

Serve on a bed of shredded asbestos.

[Rabrrrrrr]

19. Oh, Lordy, I think we're having Thanksgiving early - I can't wait four weeks to eat that!!

scrumptious!

[Orrex]

20. Pour some ammonia on it.

Lots of ammonia.

[Rabrrrrrr]

21. Mmm..... loves me some ammonia. nt

[TK421]

22. ..

I've missed you! :D

[Rabrrrrrr]

23. And me, you!

Good to see you again, sir!

[SOteric]

25. I believe the correct Escoffier procedure at this point

is to coat the turkey inside and out in liberal amounts of 150 proof alcohol just before placing in a deep fryer preheated to 475º F. Make sure you've got an eyebrow pencil ready, in case of emergency.


:hi:

[Rabrrrrrr]

27. 475 degrees? I thought it was supposed to be around 2200.

or do you like to slow cook yours?

I also thought of filling the cavity with some gasoline and about a quarter cup of beurre manié, then tying it tightly shut - that ought to thicken into a nice gravy, right? And visually it ought to really impress the guests who keep asking "Where's the gravy?" and then I carve into that bird and it comes out in a river of sinfully delicious goodness to many "oohs" and "ahhs".

[SOteric]

28. Oh Rabrrrrrr, --that sounds decadently delicious!

And I'm certain you'll have no shortage of "oohs" and "ahhs!" Tongues perhaps, but not "oohs" and "ahhs".

[leeroysphitz]

26. The bleach should give it that tangy, zesty, 'kick' that everyone loves at thanksgiving. n/t

[meegbear]

29. Why are you bleaching your turkey?

[Rabrrrrrr]

33. Because fowl are filled with all sorts of diseases and stuff. I want it good and clean and healthy.

[hifiguy]

30. It's combining the bleach and the ammonia

that's the key step. Don't forget your gas mask. ;)

[texanwitch]

31. I am frying a turkey this weekend, a early Thanksgiving.

You will have a very interesting turkey.

I just wonder, will it explode.

Have 911 handy.

[Major Nikon]

35. It's not too late, but you can't use regular vegetable oil

Even peanut oil doesn't have a high enough smoke point. You'll have to use a white mineral oil that's good to about 600 degrees F and you should be OK.

[Rabrrrrrr]

36. Okay, I took out of the bleech and have it resting in phosphorous pentoxide to dry it out

so that the skin can get all crispy.

[Incitatus]

37. NO! THROW IT AWAY.

You must drop your turkey in the fryer when it is completely frozen.

[ellisonz]

38. Toss the deep fryer - soak it in gasoline and light that bird up on a stick!

:9