How do you know if you raised your kids properly?

[Old Troop]

For me it was when my 25yo daughter informed my wife and me that she was taking her vacation in Haiti to help build houses with some people from our church. She's a social worker and this is the only vacation time she will get this year.

[MiddleFingerMom]

1. Sorry -- I had meant this to be an original post. n/t

[rainbow4321]

2. When the first thing my daughter wanted to do when she turned 17 was

go and donate blood. We both went there on her birthday, only to be told that state law says that someone has to wait til the day AFTER their 17th birthday. She still donated, she just somewhat bummed because she wanted to do it on the day of her birthday.

The other moment: her first tattoo when she turned 18--that I didn't know that she got til after the fact---a lit chalice...the symbol of our UU religion. Ditto for my youngest daughter when she turned 18--same symbol that she chose on her own.

[Brickbat]

3. When my kid was 3 and he cried listening to Woody Guthrie because it was sad that some people didn't

have jobs.

[grasswire]

4. oh...........that brings tears to my eyes

Small children have such a fresh sense of justice.

[Brickbat]

5. He was really something at that age. He also asked me if Santa's elves were union.

That's my boy!

[Odin2005]

7. !!!!!!!!!!!!

:cry:

[txwhitedove]

6. Good job, Old Troop! I realize it when thinking of youngest daughter about

to get her Registered Dietician's license after interning in hospitals and community assistance groups. Oldest daughter is a wonderful Nurse Aide to the elderly, although her personal life is a mess. And my son, well he wants to help everyone and started a non-profit to aide charitable organizations around the world. See link below.

[HopeHoops]

8. When they don't stand up in church, cock one leg and rip off a 10-point fart.

You've raised them even better if they don't add a arm pull and yell "WOOOOOO-HOOO - What a good one"

Now that's just for girls.

With guys it is more difficult to find the demarcation point.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

9. set the bar pretty low

you think.

[HopeHoops]

10. Have you been out in public lately?

[Tuesday Afternoon]

11. what church is this that you attend?

there is public and then there is select group of people attending a function of like-mindedness. and sorry, I do not witness said behavior on a regular (if any) basis. Perhaps, my area of the world has advanced past this type of behavior.

actually, I was hoping you were joking . . .

and I was replying in the same vein.

evidently, not?

[HopeHoops]

12. I attend no church on a regular basis, but on the occasions I'm there, I'm horrified.

Usually it is either a wedding or a funeral. Kids running up and down the aisle, playing hand-held games, and loudly munching on snacks were NEVER things that occurred in churches I attended as a child. Parents seem to be afraid to discipline children in public now. Don't even get me started on restaurants.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

14. but, this is the bar YOU set. or I do misunderstand the intent of the thread?

:shrug:

[Old Troop]

19. Believe it or not, it's a Catholic church. We sponsor a completely

nonreligious support to Haiti that involves construction, medical care and the usual material support that crushingly poor people need. We tithe too; just not in the way that it is usually understood. 10% of our weekly collection is donated to charity or other good works - a committee of lay people decide each week where the money will go and nothing is off the table although it usually goes to help organizations that serve the less fortunate.

[pacalo]

13. Your daughter has given you a beautiful gift: tangible proof that you've done a good job.

But for those parents who have done everything within their power to lead their kids in the right direction but were subverted by their kids' outside environmental/peer pressure influences, don't beat yourself up by thinking you could have done a better job.

I've got a well-rounded 27-year-old son who does everything right & has a great job in which he's been promoted 3 times due to his likeability & computer skills as a draftsman. He's being groomed as management material.

My younger 26-year-old son concentrated on being the class clown from kindergarten through high school. Every single year I got notes or phone calls from his teachers. He was the one that resisted parenting from a very early age & he was as stubborn as a mule.

One example: In kingergarten my son apparently misunderstood the pronunciation or spelling of "April" & insisted that it was "A-cril". Nothing we could say would convince him otherwise; "his teacher said" it was "Acril" & that's that.

His love for being comical & stepping outside the box for a laugh was a big factor in his taking the wrong turn in life. I could write a full page on all that we've done to prevent his self-destruction. It just didn't work on him.

To all the parents who've done their best but feel like they've "failed": :grouphug:

[Old Troop]

20. Oh, very well said. My thought was to try to get an idea of the

spectrum that is out there.

[pacalo]

23. Aw, thanks, Old Troop!

I surely didn't want to come across as the weed in the garden, but I know too well how it feels to have overwhelming concerns despite one's best efforts, while feeling surrounded by parents who have been rewarded for their hard work. I thought I'd add my comment for any other parent with challenges of their own.


:hi:

[Remmah2]

15. BRAVO!

It's one thing to give money to a cause, another to give time.

[WillParkinson]

16. How do you know?

When they do something you can be proud of.

One day I hope to know that joy.

[madmom]

17. When my daughter, after the second date with a very attractive, intelligent

guy with a very good job, found out he was a bigot, told him to drop dead. He made a nasty comment about a "gay looking" guy at the restaurant they went too.

[noamnety]

18. Instead of going to prom

my daughter went with her gf to Chicago for the weekend. When she came back, she was talking about a homeless looking guy who was standing on a street corner begging - not for money, but for information on how to take a bus across town to see his brother in the hospital. Not one person would stop and talk to him, or even make eye contact. My daughter and her friend stopped, found out what he needed, and pulled out their map to try to figure out how he could get there by subway.

Once the two of them were there with a map, and dressed decently, lots of people stopped to help them with directions. She was pretty angry about that.

Round two was when she had spring break from college and decided that instead of staying home and watching tv, she wanted to go on the 300 mile walk from Mobile to New Orleans with Iraq vets and hurricane survivors (and me). We shared a tent, and a couple nights when it was raining hard we slept in my car together.

(I think I raised a good one.)

[trof]

21. It may have been the sleepover.

A close friend of hers in high school still had a problem with 'nighttime urination' and was afraid to come to a sleepover at our house.

My daughter told her she had an extra sleeping bag and would help her and cover for her if she had an 'accident'.
AND told her "My parents are cool. They'll make sure you're not embarrassed."

When she told us that, I just looked at her for a long moment and then hugged her.
And told her how proud of her I was.

It was a small thing, but it told me a lot about her and what her 'family values' were.

She's 40 now, and still the same caring woman that she was as a girl.
:-)

[bigwillq]

22. Good for her!

Nice job, Old Troop! :bounce:

[applegrove]

24. Now that is a good egg. A brave one too: social work.

[krispos42]

25. When it's time to go off to the nursing home.

If it's nice, your kids love you and they've made enough money to put you there.


If it's a shithole, you're kids hate you and are spending their inherentence on something besides YOU because they have no money of their own.