Please continue this story . . .

[LawDem]

Here's my proposed "fun" late Friday afternoon activity. I've started a story and I encourage follow up posters to continue the story line:

There are only three rules:

(1) Nothing in the "plot development" can involve physical harm or threat of physical harm to the George character; and

(2) I disclaim all responsibility for any portions of the story I do not write myself; and

(3) Please go for funny, not gross.

(If no one wants to play, then just let the thread die. Thanks.)



THE CASE OF THE OILY AFFAIR

It was a dark a rainy night. Suddenly the sound of a shot rang out.

"Was that a shot from a gun" George sleepily inquired of his ever so patient wife.

"No dear," she replied. "That was just the clang from the oil derrick. You remember, you let your father drill for oil on the White House south lawn."

"Oh dear," said George, pacing back and forth worriedly. "That could be a problem. It may cause a fuss when . . ."

"Don't worry dear," his wife replied in the calmest voice she could muster. "True, those environmentalists may complain, but you know how to handle them."

"No. No. No. They're not who I'm worried about. What's worrying me is that I just remembered that I promised the White House drilling rights to . . ."

"Oh no, not to . . . !"

". . . UNCLE DICK! ! !

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh . . . they both screamed as they ran down the hall.

Just then there was a knock at the door.

"Mr. President," said the voice of a Secret Service agent. "The Vice President is on his way up. The agent at the gate says that he looks mad. I thought I should warn you."

"Oh no, oh no -- what ever will I do?"

"Quick, hide in here," his wife exclaimed, directing him to the closet. Just as she closed the closet door a man walked into the Oval Office.

"Why Dick," said the wife. "How lovely to see you."

(Please continue)

[KCDem]

1. "Why, Laura", flushed Dick, "you're naked".

"And I think I've just found those Weapons of Mass Destruction!" Dick reached out to touch Laura's glistening mounds of flesh, when he suddenly reached for his heart and fell over.

"Good going, Laura," called George, as he came back into the room. "You killed two birds with one rock: I don't need to worry about those drilling rights, and I don't need to worry about how mad he'll be when I decide to make my daddy my running mate in the '04 elections!"

[ForrestGump]

2. But Laura wasn't so sure

She didn't know how long it would be possible to hold out without Dick.

A frown crossed her brow - or attempted to cross her brow, in the process being beaten into submission by the chemical cocktail she'd imbibed just hours previous.

George opened a fresh package of pretzels. Somewhere, in the distance, a disenfranchised Florida voter howled....


EDIT: no such word as 'ackage'

[KCDem]

3. Hey--no pretzels!! No physical threats to the Res, got it?!

;)

[ForrestGump]

5. Oops....guess we'd better move the furniture, pull up the carpet, and

get Pickles out of there, then. But I have the feeling that even an empty room would still present an imminent hazard....

:P

[THUNDER HANDS]

4. just then Karl Rove

burst in through the the door with a $5.99 Radio Shack garage door openener, pressed the top button and Cheney magically sprung back to life.

The Vice President straightened his tie, rubed his finger along his combover and made a twisting motion with his foot.

"Aw shucks Laura, sorry about that."

Laura and George just looked at eachother. Then George asked, "what's wrong Dick?"

[liberalpress]

6. "Apparently," said Dick," some interlopers...

....are plunging their giant derricks into the soft warm turf below the private area"

[ForrestGump]

7. Just as George reached out to plant a kiss on Dick's smooth head

(he can't help it - it's been his kick lately), as the pure crude began to surge upward to spurt abundantly from the derricks' lofty tops, there came a knock at the door.

It was a yak. But not an ordinary yak. This yak was....

[LawDem]

8. Dick! Dick!

"Dick! Dick!" George cried to his recently reincarnated mentor. "About those oil derricks . . ."

"There's no time for that now George," Dick interrupted breathlessly. "They've found the missing ballets in Florida. When they count them they'll know we lost."

"But Jeb was supposed to . . ."

"I'm sorry to have to tell you this son, but he's turned against us now too."

"But how? Why?"

"He's been secretly dating Jananne Garafalo. She's turned him back from the dark side . . ."

[liberalpress]

9. "There's only one thing to do," said George...

...as he reached into a secret drwer in the Presidential nightstand. He pushed a button and a hidden door opened in the wall behind his wife. Slithering into the room, naked, with her perky fun bags pointing toward the sky, ws the robot responsible for George's win in Florida. The evil, tireless, sexual machine that no man or woman could resist. The automaton who slept with five of nine of the Supreme court justices to secure their vote....Katherine Harris!

[Aristus]

10. "Y'know, Kath'rine, yer makeup wuz better when a robot

wuz doin' it" Georgie said to the gleaming android.

Katherine's voice synthesizer buzzed as she replied:

[liberalpress]

11. "Are ya drillin' for oil or are ya just happy to see me!"

[LynneSin]

12. Katherine, about those Yaks we killed, have you hidden the evidence?

:D

[LawDem]

13. Dick waived his arms in anger . . .

"You're both idiots," he screamed. "My God, whatever gave you the crazy idea of hiding Florida ballets inside a Yak, anyway?"

[ronnykmarshall]

14. Dick once again clutched his chest

and fell to the ground.

"God lard, what are gonna do now?" George shouted to Kathrine.

Suddenly Laura entered the room covered in Yak blood!

"I told you, I killed once and I could kill again!" Laura shouted with a crazed look in her medicated eyes.

[LawDem]

16. A hero comes!

Just then, John Ashcroft burst into the room. "Don't worry, he shouted. I've got things covered." Then quickly he pasted a top secret stamp on each of the dead Yaks. "This will never see the light of day, people. That much I promise you. . ."

[LynneSin]

17. Because God said Yaks and Humans coexisting together is horribly wrong

The bible says so in Leviticus 47:47 Any man who lies down next to Yaks will be considered unclean and unholy in the eyes of the Lord.

[ronnykmarshall]

18. Suddenly a large crash

is heard outside!

George, Laura, Robo-Kathrine, John, Dead-Dick and one still kicking yat rush to the window. To the horror of George and Laura they witness their daughter, Jenna racing off down the driveway in a stolen limo.

Laura picks up a near by lamp and smashes it through the window. Sticking her head out of the window, with tear stained eyes she cries out, "Don't take the car! You'll kill yourself!"

"Silence!" bellowed a voice from the hallway.

The group turned towards the voice and gasped when they saw ......

[LynneSin]

19. The Terminator himself, Arnold Schwarzenegger.....

wearing nothing but a loincloth and all glistening with body oil carrying a semiautomatic grenade launcher and a copy of his "Last Action Hero" DVD

[carols]

20. Karl Rove slithered up behind him and said

"Wait!" Don't touch that yak! I have a better idea...we can say that it was an Al Queda yak that ate those ballots. Then we'll have an excuse to go and bomb Iran or Germany or Canada or the Rainbow Warrior or something.

And then he...

[liberalpress]

21. Once again used the garage door opener

to waken the now not so dead-dick,

[LynneSin]

22. "Damn that Yak heart I got during my heart transplant"

said Dick, "Is going to soon need to be replaced again"

[liberalpress]

23. MEanwhile Robo-Katherine

was making the moves on Laura. "Are you drilling for oil, or are you happy to see me." Her mechanical voice buzzed like honey in Laura's ears. She too, found herself unable to resist the andoid's evil charms. "O-o-oh Baby," the robot droned, "you're the best I ever..."

Rove pushed anothe button on the remote to de-activate the robot. Rove, George and Laura hauled Robo-Kate and Twice-Dead Dick onto the back of the yak, then hauled themselves aboard.

[liberalpress]

26. Chapter Two...

"...even a yak has to eat." Rove continued talking as those who could dismounted.

[Vitruvius]

27. As Kenny Boy walked in the door with a big bag of cash -- loot that

Enron had plundered from California.

Rove and the Terminator both grabbed for it greedily. While struggling with the Terminator for the loot, Rove dropped the garage door opener on the floor and the Terminator stepped on it. It was pointed at Robo-Katherine, who came back to life and clanked towards the Terminator, who cowered in fear. Her mechanical voice crooned "Ooh, Ahhnuld -- we evil Republican robots were made for each other -- Laura is good, but you are the best -- come darling, and...

[ronnykmarshall]

15. Kick

:kick:

Keep 'em comming, kids!

[liberalpress]

24. Kick for the night crew

[liberalpress]

25. Kick ...are we done?

[Vitruvius]

28. Kick for Sunday

:kick: