My LTTE. Help, I need an editor!!

[me b zola]

My writing is awful, I've always had an issue with run on sentances and inappropriate commas. And then there is of course, the issue of writing something that others can make sense of :D



I am outraged that the Bush Administration continues to employ, with full security clearance, Karl Rove who has by his own attorney's admission disclosed the identity of a covert CIA operative. Valerie Plame's ran a clandestine worldwide network of assets, tracking weapons of mass destruction and keeping them out of the hands of terrorists.

Mr. Rove has compromised Ms. Plame, her contacts, and most importantly, national security.
Our men and women in uniform overseas and we here at home are much less safe because of the actions of Karl Rove and anyone else in the Bush Administration who participated in the Valerie Plame affair. The fact that Mr. Rove continues to have security clearance is highly suspect and not the action--or inaction--of a responsible Administration.

My father is a WWII veteran and I grew up hearing the phrase, "loose lips sink ships". Most of us will never know just how much damage Karl Rove has done to the efforts to stop the proliferation of nuclear material, other weapons of mass destruction, and our national security, but he has demonstrated that he cannot be trusted with confidential information or secrets of the State.

Karl Rove must be stripped of his security clearance & removed from the White House. If President Bush is unwilling to put national security before partisan politics, then Congress should remove him as well.


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[proud2BlibKansan]

1. Great letter - just a few minor fixes.

I am outraged that the Bush Administration continues to employ, with full security clearance, Karl Rove, who has by his own attorney's admission disclosed the identity of a covert CIA operative. Valerie Plame ran a clandestine worldwide network of assets, tracking weapons of mass destruction and keeping them out of the hands of terrorists.

Mr. Rove has compromised Ms. Plame, her contacts, and most importantly, national security. Our men and women in uniform overseas and we here at home are much less safe because of the actions of Karl Rove and anyone else in the Bush Administration who participated in the Valerie Plame affair. The fact that Mr. Rove continues to have security clearance is highly suspect and not the action--or inaction--of a responsible administration.

My father is a WWII veteran and I grew up hearing the phrase, "loose lips sink ships". Most of us will never know just how much damage Karl Rove has done to the efforts to stop the proliferation of nuclear material, other weapons of mass destruction, and our national security, but he has demonstrated that he cannot be trusted with confidential information or secrets of the State.

Karl Rove must be stripped of his security clearance & removed from the White House. If President Bush is unwilling to put national security before partisan politics, then Congress should remove him as well.

[Patchuli]

4. Hey! You are a good editor too!

:toast:

[longship]

6. no "and" splice. no &

Actually, the letter is fairly tight.

Two minor corrections:

My father is a WWII veteran. I grew up hearing the phrase,
"loose lips sink ships".

"clearance & removed" should be "clearance and removed"

[me b zola]

10. Thank you. It sounds much better as two sentences

Come to think of it, that was another "issue" I was told that I had.

[proud2BlibKansan]

12. One of the best pieces of advice I ever got

from a writing teacher was to always use two short sentences instead of one long one. You need to focus on keeping the reader's attention.

[longship]

13. It's a run-on sentence with the "and"

My Jr High School English teacher, Ms. Ora Wood, would be proud of me. :-)

[me b zola]

7. Thank you!!!! n/t

[proud2BlibKansan]

9. no problem

I am a better proofreader than a writer.

[Patchuli]

2. Allow an old legal secretary...

I am outraged that the Bush Administration continues to employ Karl Rove with full security clearance. Karl Rove has by his own attorney's admission, disclosed the identity of a covert CIA operative. Valerie Plame ran a clandestine worldwide network of assets, tracking weapons of mass destruction and keeping them out of the hands of terrorists.

Mr. Rove has compromised Ms. Plame's safety, her contacts, and most importantly, national security.

Our men and women in uniform overseas and we here at home are much less safe because of the actions of Karl Rove and everyone else in the Bush Administration who participated in the Valerie Plame affair. The fact that Mr. Rove continues to have security clearance is highly suspect. This is not the action of a responsible Administration.

My father is a WWII veteran and I grew up hearing the phrase "loose lips sink ships". Most of us will never know just how much damage Karl Rove has done to the efforts to stop the proliferation of nuclear material, other weapons of mass destruction, and our national security. He has demonstrated that he cannot be trusted with confidential information or secrets of the State.

Karl Rove must be stripped of his security clearance and removed from the White House. If President Bush is unwilling to put national security before partisan politics, then Congress should remove him as well.

[proud2BlibKansan]

5. The last word in the 4th paragraph

Should 'state' be capitalized? And 'administration' in the paragraph above that?

[Patchuli]

8. I think State should be capitalized

but 'administration' in that particular use doesn't need to be.

[proud2BlibKansan]

11. Those capitalization rules are tough

I teach elementary school and we keep it pretty simple at that level. I am way out of practice on the advanced rules.

[Patchuli]

14. You know what?

If it looks right, go for it! LOL ;)

[Dragonfli]

3. I need similar help

I wont have much time to work on edits tomorrow so If I don't get any proof readings soon, It will have to go as is.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=106&topic_id=18347