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Saturday was a rough day in the Blogging Business.. Congressional Members and Staffers were on Overtime, and in Over-Drive. News organizations and financial news networks had ears or drinking glass pressed up against the doors of meeting rooms, Henry Paulson was getting all of the respect previously accorded to the Late Pat Paulson, and other than commenting on non-stories relating to who could spin the best seven second sound bite out of the Presidential Debate...it was for all practical purposes, the slowest news day of the entire election cycle.
No battleground states changed their tentative allegiances, and it didn’t matter what you had previously predicted to be the future of Wachovia, Downey Savings & Loan or National City Corporation. All of that would be changing, anyway...based upon what the reporters were hearing coming through the glasses they had pressed up against the walls of the Congress.
One of the few minor stories even worth any note, was why Johnny McNuisance felt the need to hang out in his Arlington, VA campaign office, calling Senators and Congressman, almost all of whom had suggested that perhaps he form his own Commission, and hold its inaugural meeting...somewhere else.
Then the NY Times main story hit the wire for its Sunday Edition...and at least one of Johnny Snake Eyes’ deep dark non-secrets was revealed.
“Johnny gets wood when you hand him the bones.”
And, this is news? Johnny McMyWayOrTheHighway has been driven by a contrarian, passive-aggressive, sociopathic and borderline demonic personality disorder since even before he crashed his third piece of Military Hardware.
Okay, so the Times used the story of how Johnny McMuckenfess combined his willingness to sell the power and authority of his Office to Jack Abranoff, Rick Davis, and the other 170 Lobbyists who now dominate his Campaign...with the fact that Little Johnny LetItRide has a Reserved Space at every Crap Table from the MGM Grand to the the Principality of Monaco.
And, this is news?
Sure, there were some interesting life parallels I found in the story, between Johnny TwoDogsScrewing and my own life. My first two legal clients were the Sac & Fox Tribes of Oklahoma and Nebraska, and the Pottawatomie Nation. And, I can assure you...that story would be far more interesting, and revealing, than the fact that Johnny Boxcars has a “Gambling Problem.”
If the selection of Sarah TundraTrash didn’t already scream out the need to have Johnny Foxwoods tattoo the word “1-800-Gambler” on either his forehead, or the seriously sagging cheeks inside of his Fruit of the Loom clad holding cell where his brain resides...well, somehow I don’t think anything the New York Times could add to that subject was going to change your vote.
In the meantime...The White House Press Machine was bound and determined to make sure that Asian Markets would not open without being completely assured that a bailout deal was finalized...whether it was finalized or not.
House republicans, all of which are up for re-election, and most of which are behind in the polls, would be willing to spout off, at least to each other, knowing that they could not stop their own President from cramming the deal up their collective back door...if for no other reason that to manufacture the only issue which may keep their own elections close.
Meanwhile...the rest of us begged our wives (or husbands) to move to Utah, so we could all marry Tina Fey in a mass ceremony just outside of Provo.
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