Eating Tips For John Kerry

[DrFunkenstein]

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"Put down the fork, corndogs are eaten off a stick.

"Put down the knife, sweet corn is eaten off the cob (don't drip the butter on your Hermes tie!).

"The food is fried - cheese, funnel cakes, everything! - so, don't ask for anything poached.

"The answer to "Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon?" is no. We eat our hot dogs with yellow mustard.

"Jeans, overalls, and gingham shirts are all appropriate things to wear. Leave your $250 Turnbull & Asser shirts in Georgetown.

"There is no valet parking. It's a hike from where you'll park to the front gates; Gucci loafers without socks will be uncomfortable and not advisable.

"Imagine you are in Nantucket, but instead of yachts and sailboats there will be combines, hay balers and planters on display.

"Resist all urges to speak French!"

-Republican Party Chairman Chuck Larson

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http://www.amestrib.com/site/news.cfm?BRD=2035&dept_id=238098&newsid=10009884&PAG=461&rfi=9

[wtmusic]

1. Wish I could be that woman with the shovel

now where can I put this dirt?

[ryharrin]

2. lol, I didn't see her at first and I thought you were talking about shrub.

He's been called many things, but a woman isn't one. That would be quite an insult to women everywhere. He already makes me ashamed to be a white male (not that there aren't plenty of other reasons)

[ryharrin]

3. good rules. They'll help him look much more like a regular guy.

Kerry is one person who I do think has quite the "limosine liberal" feel to him. Where is he in that picture there? Is that his infamous cheessteak?

[wtmusic]

4. All this eating and dressing stuff is overrated

so the guy's rich. So he "doesn't know how" to eat a cheesesteak. So the fuck what!

He can either relate to people and convey he's going to make their life and the country better, or he can't. Nobody changes their vote when a candidate puts on a plaid shirt.

[George_Bonanza]

5. I don't think Kerry was "rich"

In his radio interview, the host states that Kerry was part of a privileged society, but wasn't super wealthy, just "comfortable," probably meaning upper middle class without going bonanza with the millions.

[wtmusic]

6. He married the Heinz heiress

yeah, he's going bonanza with the millions

[DrFunkenstein]

8. He Grew Up As "Landless Aristocracy"

Meaning his parents had little money, but they had lots of rich relatives. Kind of like The Family Guy.

But he married a Fortune 500 woman, and he doesn't have to shine shoes for nickels anymore.

[ryharrin]

14. John Kerry = Peter Griffin?

Not sure if I see it :) Though if his wife is as hot as lois.....

[DrFunkenstein]

16. Ever see the episode

when they visit Lois's super-rich family?

[Feanorcurufinwe]

7. C'est vrai.

C'est vrai. Absolument. Et John Kerry parle la langue du peuple.

[DrFunkenstein]

9. Voulez-vous couchez avec moi, cet soir?

Mocha chocolatta ya ya.

[DrFunkenstein]

10. Kerry On The Value of Being Bizarrely Rich

Candidate: John Kerry
Category: General Likeability
Grade: A

One of the most grating elements of American politics is the impulse for rich candidates to affect the symbolism of the middle class. (Witness the dauphin George W. Bush at his hardscrabble Texas ranch, jus' clearin' brush.)

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Cultural experience is of course not the sum total of anyone's character, but the impulse to obscure a privileged background for political gain is a glaring character flaw.

And in a primary where John Edwards pushes his millworker pedigree with Tourette's-like frequency, and Dick Gephardt counters that neither of his parents finished high school, the pressure for the better heeled candidates to play down their not-so-humble beginnings must be intense.

So give John Kerry credit for bucking this condescending campaign ritual. At a Mason City, Iowa, bowling alley, he framed his background in the noblest political tradition: "George Bush went to a nice, fancy high school like I did, but I came out of my fancy high school asking the question, 'Why can't everybody have a school like this?'"

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That hits all the right notes--candor about inherited wealth, noblesse oblige, and a concern for the broader national interest. The media frequently invoke Kerry's Brahmin heritage to suggest that he's culturally isolated from the electorate, but the honesty and civic-mindedness Kerry displayed yesterday are quintessentially American cultural virtues.

[JI7]

11. bush face is scary

that pic of bush in the blue shirt and the look on his face is totally creepy.

[DrFunkenstein]

12. Freddy Vs. Jason Vs. Bush

Find Your Happy Place.

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[Fleshdancer]

13. The most stupid photo op ever!

who in the hell goes digging a hole in slacks and a button down shirt unless he's planning on burying a dead body? Come on george...a blue shirt does not equal a blue collar. Idiot.

[GalleryGod]

15. like Tricky Dick on the Beach in wingtips!

Didja' See Shrub Asswipe's new,free, "field jacket" in Cali speech,:puke:

It was embrodered with "Commander In Chief":mad:

[DrFunkenstein]

17. Ever See The One Where The Mothership Lands On Him?

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[sandnsea]

18. Ranching tip to W.

Must folks wear Levis and a pair of Redwings. (noted by MrsGrumpy and GloriaSmith)

At least Kerry isn't pretending to be a longshoreman or something.