Barbara Bradley Hagerty: Why She Sucks (NPR right-wing Christian bias)

[Pab Sungenis]

On February 22nd, 2009, NPR.com’s Story Of The Day was a piece entitled “Christian Filmmakers Creating An Industry Of Faith.” Sure, it sounds like an innocuous story about the Christian film industry, but there was something wrong with it.

Don’t get me wrong. I have no problem with Christians making movies. I even exhibited them back when I owned a movie theater. But if Christian filmmaking were supposedly the all-fire gung-ho world changing phenomenon that NPR spokesbimbo Barbara Bradley Hagerty wants to make it out to be, you could do it without, oh, breaking the Ninth Fucking Commandment.

I went back and replayed the story just to make sure I got her words exactly right, to avoid charges of putting words in her electronic mouth.

Okay, here’s a quiz. What was the biggest grossing independent film in 2008? No, not Slumdog Millionaire, not Milk. It was a movie you’ve probably never heard of…

Barbara insists that it was a movie called Fireproof, starring former Growing Pains pseudo-hottie Kirk Cameron. Respectable little film, yes, but there’s one major problem with Barbara’s claim.

It’s total bullshit.

Here’s an excerpt from a screenshot from IMDBPro, which is (as its name implies) a version of the Internet Movie Database targeting professionals in the movie and exhibition industry. Even after leaving the theater business I still pay to subscribe to it because you get so much more information. Information that Barbara might have used to avoid some egg on her face if she had bothered to look at it.

This is the gross, to date, for Slumdog Millionaire:



This is the gross, to date, for Milk:



And this is the gross, to date, for Fireproof:



Last time I checked, Barbara, 37 is more than 33. And since Milk is still in exhibition and Fireproof was pulled from its last screens on January 30th, that number’s just going to keep getting up. And there is no way you can claim that 33 is more than 157. You lied, Barbara!

Now, the Conservo-bot weasels are going to try and come out of the woodwork and change qualify Barbara’s claim. Yes, Fireproof outgrossed both Slumdog and Milk if you only count grosses accrued during the calendar year 2008. That’s because it was released in the summer while the other two were released around Christmas time. It grossed more than Slumdog did in four weeks, and Milk did in two, but it took 14 weeks to reach that point.

Of course, if you want to move the goalposts to not mean “movies released in 2008″ to “movies grossing during 2008″ (which Barbara’s statement could conceivably mean) that brings a whole new slew of films into the picture. Here are a few “independent films” that grossed in 2008. Let’s see how they stack up. (Source for all numbers: IMDB Pro)

Juno grossed a total of $112,022,829 during the calendar year 2008.

Atonement grossed $37,920,676 during calendar year 2008.

There Will Be Blood grossed $39,791,880 during calendar year 2008.

And what did Fireproof gross during calendar year 2008?

$33,149,106.

Again, unless my math has really gone downhill in the past few years:

33,149,106 < 37,920,676
33,149,106 < 39,791,880
33,149,106 < 112,022,829

Ask a mathematician if you don’t believe me.

As a result, neither possible interpretation of Barbara Bradley Hagerty’s opening to her report was accurate. Fireproof was not the top grossing independent film of 2008, nor was it the top grossing independent film in 2008!

You lied, Barbara!

If the Christian film industry, like any other independent film industry, is going to survive it needs to do it through quality of product. Your puffing it up and making it seem bigger than it is only does it a great disservice, Barbara.

There. You were wrong. Now why don’t you go crawl under a rock and let someone else at NPR do your reporting. Maybe someone who doesn’t have such a painfully obvious right-wing bias. Or, maybe, just someone who knows how to fucking count.

Reprinted with permission from WhyTheySuck.com. ©2009 2,000 Monkeys With Typewriters, LLC, All Rights Reserved. May not be reproduced or redistributed without permission.

[Taverner]

1. I am already seeing Fireproof in the DVD-for-a-dollar bin

:rofl:

[marew]

2. So what else is new?

Rove was a talking head this morning. Lies, fabrications, and distortions are all those people can come up with. Cantor was also blubbering, refusing to answer questions but who has yet to disclose he voted for a major bailout at a bank where his wife is a big shot. They want truth and transparency?!? Not really, I would say.

[tanyev]

3. Maybe she was referring to USA gross?

Which isn't listed for the first two. Not defending her, or the movie you couldn't pay me to see, but the RWers do have a knack for actively searching out obscure statistics that seem to support their positions and turning them into ad nauseam talking points.

[Pab Sungenis]

4. Domestic grosses:

Milk: $28M, still in release.
Slumdog: $115M.

Fireproof not released outside US, so those numbers are already domestic.

Slumdog still smashes Fireproof.

Oh, and the other films I listed with 2008 releases? All US only.

[tanyev]

5. OK, thanks!

I imagine Fireproof doesn't have much of a market outside the U.S.

[sakabatou]

6. B. B. Hagerty: Your pants have exploded.