Hate Mailbag #26: DU Makes Conservative Literally Shit Self

[hatemail]

I'm sorry to say that since George W. Bush's political fortunes have started taking a turn for the worse, there's been a noticeable decline in coherent hate mail.

Yes, it seems that most of the folks who could defend Dubya without drooling on their keyboards have gone awfully quiet lately. Instead we've been inundated with some of the dumbest drivel I've ever had the misfortune to read.

And now you too can have that same misfortune!

As usual, these emails have not been edited in ANY WAY, except to preserve the anonymity of the senders. Trust me, they probably couldn't read what you sent them anyway.


DU Makes Conservative Literally Shit Self
From: Al -------- <[e-mail]>
Date: Thu, 1 Sep 2005 14:47:33 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: losing my mudd

Democratic Underground,

Ever dang time I look at your website, I go code brown in my pants. You people just burn me up. I hope it makes you feel good to know that I will not vote for G.W. in the next election. I just can't take four more years of your smart-aleck comments. I will, however, continue to visit your website. I like to laugh as much as the next person.You are a bunch of silly homos.

Thanks,

Scrotillus Maximus
bean farmer and part time activator

DU RESPONDS: Dude, you totally pooped in your pants and then wrote to tell me about it.


Balls

That's Right. Dripping Balls.
From: [e-mail]
Sent: Wednesday, October 19, 2005 3:45 PM
Subject: Donate

I wouldn't give you open minded, free thinking, uninformed morons the sweat off my balls.

Any time anyone questions your lack of facts to support your ideas on ANY subject, you ban them from the forums. So much for open mindedness and tolerance.

You people are too stupid to debate. You think that yelling and cursing is the same as debating.

Your party is going down hill. The deeper the hole gets, the faster you shovel. What's up with that?

DU RESPONDS: Oh woe is me. Is there nobody out there selfless enough to give me the sweat off their balls?


Perhaps I Can Be Of Assistance
From: Ralph -------- <[e-mail]>
Sent: Friday, August 19, 2005 5:49 PM
Subject: Contact information for Amazon donor

I will donate the sweat off my balls to you idiots.

DU RESPONDS: Someone give that man a cigar!


Oder? Oh Dear
From: [e-mail]
Sent: Friday, October 21, 2005 1:02 AM
Subject: (no subject)

so you guys have gone underground eh? Yea, that's where you belong. hahahhah

what a pathetic site, you are now officially competing with ERR(or) America as the most pathetic psuedo news outlet.

What hate filled hypocrite tirades all of you and your other liberal messengers put out, the so called "compassionate" ones, bwahahhahahahhahahahhaha

Progressives now eh? Hmmm, ashamed of your former label? Liberal? Well, you can change your coat, but your body oder remains the same, a bunch of anti american money stealing via taxes idiots.

DU RESPONDS: Body odor? It seems we liberals aren't the ones with the embarrasing sweaty balls problem.


Was The Putrid Smell In Your Underwear By Any Chance?
From: Bill ------- <[e-mail]>
Date: Saturday, September 17, 2005 1:57 PM
Subject: Your site stinks

Have just found your site after tracking down a putrid smell. You're a loser skinner and all who faithfully come to this site everyday are disaffected idiots. I don't care what you're politics are, this is America and you are FREE to do as you please within the realms of the constitution and I would be willing to fight and die to protect those rights for you and your ilk. But the minute you guys cross the line, you will become my enemy and my enemies tend not to hang around for very long. You guys are sorry excuses for human beings. Very sad.

DU RESPONDS: Well at least I now know why you conservatives all have sweaty balls - you can't stop beating off to pictures of your mother.


Shouting is Fun

Jerry Has A News Flash
From: Jerry [e-mail]
Date: 10/12/2005 11:58 AM
Subject: EAT YOUR HEART OUT

GEORGE W. BUSH IS STILL PRESIDENT.
YOU GUYS DON'T HAVE A PLAN,AND NEVER WILL HAVE A CLUE.
YOUR FRIEND JERRY L. -----

DU RESPONDS: Yes Jerry, just a year into his second term, George W. Bush is still president. Well done.


Freedum Is On The March
From: [e-mail]
Sent: Thursday, September 08, 2005 9:21 PM
Subject: HAY

I DO NOT WISH TO REINSTATED TO YOUR DUM SHIT GROUP YOU ALL ARE A BUNCH OF DUM ASS LIARS THAT DO NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKKING ABOUT.

DU RESPONDS: Your wish is granted!


I May Not Like The War? Thanks!
From: Linda ---- <[e-mail]>
Date: Wed, 31 Aug 2005 11:00:37 -0500
Subject: LIAR

YOU ARE THE LIARS. YOU MAY NOT LIKE THE WAR OR WHAT THE PRESIDENT HAS TO SAY BUT HE IS NOT LYING.

DU RESPONDS: Then why are his pants on fire?


BLAH BLAH BLAH
From: [e-mail]
Sent: Wednesday, September 07, 2005 6:07 PM
Subject: YOUR RULES

I GOT IT, I UNDERSTAND ONLY PEOPLE YOU CAN "DIS" ARE REPUBLICANS AND GEORGE BUSH. WHAT A BUNCH OF CRYBABIES AND LOSERS YOU ARE. NOW I KNOW WHY YOU DUMBASCRAPS WILL BE A LOOOONG TIME SITTING ON THE SIDELINES WHILE THE CONSERVATIVES RUN THE COUNTRY. YOU ARE EVIL AND DESPICABLE PEOPLE AND THE DECENT PEOPLE OF THIS COUNTRY HAVE FIGURED YOU OUT. SAD THAT YOU HAVE RUINED THIS COUNTRY'S CHOICE OF A MULTI PARTY SYSTEM OF GOVERNMENT, EVERYONE KNOWS THAT YOU ARE A BUNCH OF LUNATICS.

DU RESPONDS: Jesus, what is this? Caps Lock Wednesday?


Land of the Banned

Let's Just Get One Thing Straight
From: S M <[e-mail]>
Date: Wed, 28 Sep 2005 17:02:24 +0100 (BST)
Subject: Suspension

Its bullshit that you (1) suspended my privileges and (2) didn't respond to my post asking why they were suspended. If you are going to suspend someone for disagreeing with other users on certain issues then go ahead and post a big "NO FREE SPEECH HERE" logo on the web site.

DU RESPONDS:

NO FREE SPEECH HERE

Uh... Wuh... Mmmm... Uhhhh...
From: Eric ---- <[e-mail]>
Date: Sun, 2 Oct 2005 00:30:28 -0500
Subject: Banned

Truth hurts I see. The though Nazi's are busy. Joseph Gobbels would be proud. Break your leg.

DU RESPONDS: Hush everyone, the freeper is making sounds! Why, if I didn't know any better I'd think he was trying to speak English!


The Sixty-Four Thousand Dollar Question
From: [e-mail]
Sent: Thursday, June 30, 2005 6:13 PM
Subject: (no subject)

how do I get to post on your stupid anti american site.

DU RESPONDS: Ummmmmmmm... you don't.


Corporate America Is Really Scraping The Bottom Of The Barrel
From: ---- --------- <[e-mail]>
Sent: Monday, May 23, 2005 8:43 AM
Subject: Opinions

You banned me within ten minutes and for what? I said hillara had thick ankles. I saw far far worse stuff on there. I guess you r are such intellectual cowards that it makes sence for you to behave this way. Anyway I just wanted to have some fun with your regulars and stir the waters but I see you cant take it. Too bad.

VP Sales & Marketing

Educational Media Group

DU RESPONDS: Vice President of Sales & Marketing? The Educational Media Group should ask for their money back.


Oh The Irony
From: Homer <[e-mail]>
Date: Thu, 16 Jun 2005 22:39:49 -0400 (EDT)
Subject: Two posts and banned?

I guess you don't want a discussion, maybe you all just get off on parroting each other. Pathetic.

DU RESPONDS: Megadittoes!


Wise Words For A Change
From: Robin ----- <[e-mail]>
Date: Thu, 4 Aug 2005 22:48:04 -0400
Subject: dem underground

If only the democrats would be a bit more positive towards America and it's future, then maybe more Americans would actually stop and listen to what they have to say. But when their first words are ALWAYS so full of hatred....it's hard for people to not become automatically defensive, and therefore not really listen to what they say.

It's really a shame they can't seem to get past the 2000 election. Move on, and have a better plan. maybe the red states will listen.

DU RESPONDS: You know Robin, you're absolutely right. We really should try harder to improve the level of discourse. Which brings us nicely on to our brand new mailbag segment...


The Swearing Section

Is That The Best You Got?
From: Ralph ------- <[e-mail]>
Date: Sat, 27 Aug 2005 21:58:54 -0500
Subject: (no subject)

You fucking idiots get dumber every day. your nfucking brains are in your ass. anybody that disagrees with you is supposed to be stupid.the only stupid people are the fucking democrats. what fucking idiots.

DU RESPONDS: Fucking shit fuck ass pussy nuts fuck.


Ooh, I'm Offended!
From: [e-mail]
Date: Tue, 9 Aug 2005 16:58:31 EDT
Subject: WHA WHA WHA

What a bunch of whinning little cunts you all are.

DU RESPONDS: Balls and cock. Tits.


Bring It On!
From: j d <[e-mail]>
Date: Fri, 12 Aug 2005 07:27:21 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: Donations?


You're all a bunch of communist, America-hating assholes. Fuck you all. The Founding Founders are turning in their graves when it comes to you pussy-assed pieces of shit nut jobs. Oh, and just to make it clear, fuck you.

DU RESPONDS: Motherfucking fuck shit dick fuck fuck asshole. Okay, I'm bored now.


World's Worst Writers

Why Not Start With My Nuts?
From: [e-mail]
Sent: Wednesday, September 07, 2005 8:36 PM
Subject: Why all the complaining and whining?

Well where should I start, your nut's"!!!!!! and need to get a real job!!!, if you Commies had it your way, we would all be working for the Goverment just like in your old country th USSR, you need to get over the Cold War being over you bunch of losers!. What's funny you tricked the country in the 60's and again this year with this anti war stuff, if the public ever found out you have been financing these clowns then it would be time to deport you back to Cuba along with the Hollywood crowd. I can tell you Howard Dean should keep on spouting his spew cause it's working just great, hard working Americans are starting to see past your Stalinist tactics and are rejecting your doom and gloom messages, you make me sick!. Best of luck in 2006/2008 cause your going to lose BIG!.
Best wishes
Scott

DU RESPONDS: Are you flirting with me?


Comma Comma Comma Comma Comma Chameleon
From: ron ------ <[e-mail]>
Sent: Thursday, September 08, 2005 11:09 PM
Subject: hey fake..!!!

you are such phoneys !!! I signed up,,and was going to be polite and offer my opinions like so many of your mindless drones do,,,you couldnt handle the truth,or at least my version of it....seems your friend the gov. of louisianna,,,and the fabulous mary landrau,,,let that great state down,,,funny you dont hear it on cnn. or msnbc...or any of these great unbiased news outlets...did you investigate me to see if I was of the same political persuasion as you.? I think you are cowards,,,you certainly know you are. dont think it will be much longer before the whole liberal agenda crumbles,,and you are all exposed for what you are....you little private club really sucks.....thank you for taking me off of it,,,,,you dont deserve my views.............

DU RESPONDS: Don't tell me: you're the PRESIDENT of the Educational Media Group.


OMG this is hugh!!!!1111
From: Mark ------- <[e-mail]>
Date: Tue, 20 Sep 2005 20:59:32 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: the truth

II lived in New Orleans all my life.Everyone here in this state knows the truth.This state has been run by liberal corrupt democrats for fifty years and now the whole country can see the failure.Everyone here wants Landrieu and Blanco,and I mean 99%,GONE!GONE!GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!So take your lies and shove them up your liberal _ss!!!!!! If you don't like this country,France would probably suit you people well.Better yet,just get of the planet or go to HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DU RESPONDS: Don't worry Mark, reading your email makes me feel like I'm in hell already.


Best of the Rest

Pedantastic
From: Brandon ------ <[e-mail]>
Date: Mon, 26 Sep 2005 16:54:42 -0500
Subject: conservative idiot

To whom it may concern regarding the "Top 10 Conservative Idiots" list:

The link I followed to get here requested that I submit "a conservative idiot" for next weeks list. "A conservative idiot," that is singular.

This week's "top ten" list named 63 individuals (GWB was listed 3 times, Coni and BO'R together, and *all* Senate Republicans). Something's amiss!

Maybe this list actually ranks something besides conservative idiots /(e.g. /top ten dumb things Republicans did this week)/. /Maybe the people who create this list are fuzzy-thinking innumerates. Maybe it's both.

Brandon ------

DU RESPONDS: Maybe you're reading too much into this. Maybe you've got too much time on your hands. Maybe I don't give a shit.


Guess The Word
From: [e-mail]
Sent: Monday, May 23, 2005 8:43 AM
Subject: Opinions

Your "opinions" are stickily lies! You people are Socialistic/Communist pigs!

DU RESPONDS: I like it! And I'm going to start using it more often in conversation.


Hit The Undue Button
From: [e-mail]
Sent: Monday, July 04, 2005 10:56 AM
Subject: Judge appointments

You dems really amaze me . Not one person has even been brought up yet you have already made up your little minds that you will be against whom ever PRESIDENT BUSH nominates will not be the right person for the job, you have the mentality of a ameba .The only possible judge will be one that agrees with murdering un born children , one that will allow queers to undue thousands of years of what GOD has set fourth as the back ground for family.he/she will have to be willing to bow to groups such as the ACLU and other anti American and anti GOD, other groups like Amnesty International and the International Red cross ( just another branch of Alquidea) . People like Ted the murder Kennedy ,Howard the Mouth Dean and others will continue to spout lies about how the killers are so mistreated in places the have never been to. I never once Heard these low life assholes complain about how we were treated in NAM , all they did was support shit like Hanoi Jane and Ho Chi Kerry and others of their ilk. To bad they stopped getting rid of Kennedy's before the got to teddy boy
Skip ----

DU RESPONDS: Your "opinions" are STICKILY LIES!


Drowning In The Mainstream
From: John ------- <[e-mail]>
Date: Thu, 9 Jun 2005 14:04:08 -0400
Subject: Web -Site


You really are a bunch of sick puppies. Try going out in the mainstream, you will find out just how out of touch you really are.

DU RESPONDS: Hmm, the mainstream you say? Let's take a look:

Presidential approval ratings in all 50 states

Is the country headed in the right direction?

Sorry John - the mainstream says your boy sucks.


So, How'd That Pan Out?
From: [e-mail]
Sent: Sunday, July 03, 2005 1:17 AM
Subject: Rove

Hey nutballs.... Wilson will be indicted for outing his way and undermining the USA. Cooper and Miller will be nailed on conspiracy to frame Rove.........

Liberals = Traitors................

Keep talking.... Conservatives are pulsing, growing, and taking
over........

DU RESPONDS: You make conservatives sound like a bunch of rogue erections.