How The War On Terror Might End

[Boojatta]

1. Osama bin Laden announces that high profile same-sex marriage advocates in the USA will be assassinated. He creates a deck of cards that describes them.

2. The Republican President announces that he will direct law enforcement to make efforts to protect same-sex marriage advocates in the USA. However, the Republican President reduces the budget for AIDS research to cover the cost of special law enforcement protection for same-sex marriage advocates.

3. Within nine months, each of forty high profile same-sex marriage advocates in the USA has either been definitely murdered or died under suspicious circumstances.

4. The Republican President announces that the murders and suspicious deaths are unacceptable, but also says that security is everybody's concern and that the government working alone cannot ensure everybody's security. The Republican President mentions that many emergency services personnel died on 9/11 and that many people die on the roads and highways of America every year.

5. The Republican President announces that, despite the continuing terror campaign against same-sex marriage advocates in the USA, the war on terror is no longer a high priority.

6. The Republican President announces a war on disloyalty. The Republican President says that ordinary Americans cannot be expected to feel loyalty to something as abstract as the US Constitution. The Republican President announces that just as the devil can quote scripture to his purposes, "some anti-American organizations such as the ACLU" can quote the Constitution for their purposes. The Republican President says that in future all government employees will swear a personal oath of loyalty to their agency or department head rather than to the Constitution. Whistle-blowers will be prosecuted regardless of any alleged dedication they feel to the rule of law. Whistle-blowers will be considered to be engaged in a kind of work-to-rule campaign and subject to penalties currently available for government employees who strike illegally.

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

1. Only way I see it ending is...

well, two ways

1. An angry mob of thousands storm the white house, capitol and supreme court, drag out every one in there and summarily executes everyone involved in this insane wot.

2. Washington is sacked by foreign troops, and backpack nukes are placed in all ex-government buildings.

[bs1]

2. Or if we don't get competent leadership soon...

...it might be ended by someone else.


http://www.pollyticks.com

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

3. Nice one. Welcome to DU

[Boojatta]

4. Perhaps point one is unrealistic.

Perhaps Osama bin Laden doesn't care whether or not prominent same-sex marriage advocates in the USA live or die.

However, there are people who care so much about published fiction written in the Japanese language that they aim to murder to have influence over that matter. Maybe some of those people also care about whether or not prominent same-sex marriage advocates in the USA live or die.

[jdmollan]

5. How Victory Might Be Achieved

Victory
President Bush and his political clones expound about “victory” in Iraq and Afghanistan.
In past wars, seizing the enemy’s capital usually meant victory. With the muddled situation, how can we tell that “victory” has been achieved?

1. Sunnis and Shiites meet together, hold hands and sing Kumbaya.
2. Osama Bin Laden confesses, moves to the USA and runs for congress to replace Tom DeLay.
3. Resistance ceases when all Iraqis are killed.
4. All Muslims see the light and become Southern Baptists.
5. All Democrats are defeated for election, including dogcatcher.
6. Taxes are eliminated for all Republicans.
7. Election day is moved to September 11.
8. All countries starting with the letter I are nuked.
9. Jeb Bush is declared King George III when Dubya abdicates.
10. That pesky Bill of Rights is repealed and replaced with a ban on abortion, flag burning, gay marriage. Fox News is declared the only legal news outlet.
11. Voters will annual incomes of less than $2 million will have to pay an annual poll tax of $1.9 million to register to vote.
12. Iraq is privatized and renamed Haliburton.

posted by John Mollan