Will John McCain change his name?

[Boojatta]

It's possible that, before he changes his name, he will begin smoking cigarettes at his campaign appearances. Such a move could yield for him some of the Humphrey-Bogart-fan vote, some of the rebellious-young-adult vote, and also some tobacco company campaign donations.

Now, suppose that the cigarettes have little gold-colored dollar signs on them. Also, suppose that John McCain changes his name to John Galt. He might then soak up much of the Ayn-Rand-fan vote. Perhaps he could increase his appeal to Ayn Rand fans by saying something like the following:

Financially unsuccessful parents should stop expecting the government to educate their children by penalizing successful Americans. As for the children, they should stop and think before they choose who they will have as parents. Children who choose poorly in this matter are displaying little volitional consciousness, and that's a sign that they aren't really human anyway.

[saltpoint]

1. The quotation you have forged for McCain on children's choice of parents

would be especially resonant in the case of John McCain, who is an adoptive parent of I believe a Bangladeshi child.

I think McCain should indeed change his name. I feel he should choose a fictional character and use that character's name from this point forward in the campaign. "Captain Ahab" would be a consideration.

The notion of McCain lighting up a smoke for all campaign appearances appears indicated and I endorse the idea. There are any number of acute Humphrey Bogart fans in the American electorate and no one has really made much effort to appeal to them; a gesture of this sort by McCain would likely revive his campaign overnight.

Perhaps a punk band could appear at McCain campaign events to warm up the crowd before the Senator actually comes out and speaks on issues such as bombing the holy crap out of Iran, etc.

[Quantess]

2. It's his only hope.

Hilarious OP!

[Boojatta]

3. Correction

I think that should be "looting from" rather than "penalizing."

Thus, the first sentence in the short speech would read:

Financially unsuccessful parents should stop expecting the government to educate their children by looting from successful Americans.

[Boojatta]

4. Kick because Senator McCain needs all the help he can get.

[thincaboutit]

5. Just call him a hot head!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_Dhxu-6l98