George W. Bush's Resume

[Galraedia]

RESUME

GEORGE W. BUSH
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20520

EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE

LAW ENFORCEMENT
I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving while
intoxicated. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license
suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not
available.

MILITARY
I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a
drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas
Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.

COLLEGE
I graduated from Yale University with a low-C average. I was a cheerleader.

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE
I ran for U.S. Congress and lost. I began my career in the oil business in
Midland, Texas, in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil
in Texas. The company went bankrupt right after I sold my stock. I bought
the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using
taxpayer money. With the help of my father and our friends in the oil
industry, including Enron CEO Ken Lay, I was elected governor of Texas.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS
I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making
Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure, Houston
replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America. I cut taxes
and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money.
I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American
history. With help from my Governor-of-Florida-brother, and my father's
appointments to the Supreme Court I became President after losing by over
500,000 votes.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT
I'm the first U.S. President in history to enter office with a criminal
record. I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over a
billion dollars per week. I spent a U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted
the U.S. Treasury. I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in
U.S. history. I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed
in any 12-month period. I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a
12-month period. I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the
history of the U.S. stock market. In my first year in office, over 2 million
Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues every month.

I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any
administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice,
had a Chevron oil tanker named after her. I set the record for most campaign
fund-raising trips by a U.S. President. I am the all-time U.S. and world
record-holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations. My
largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth
Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud (Enron) in U.S.
History. My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to
assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.
I've protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or
prosecution. More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky
affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate
rip-offs in U.S. history.

I presided over the biggest energy crisis in history, refusing intervention
when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed. I presided over the
highest gasoline prices in U.S. history. I changed U.S. policy to allow
convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts. I appointed more
convicted criminals to administration than any President in U.S. history. I
created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the
history of the United States government.

I've broken more international treaties than any U.S. President. I am the
first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S.
from the Human Rights Commission I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court
of Law. I refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. "prisoner of war"
detainees and thereby refused to abide by the Geneva Convention. I'm the
first President in history to refuse U.N. election inspectors (during the
2002 U.S. election). I set the record for fewest numbers of press
conferences of any President since the advent of television. I set an
all-time record for most vacation days in any one-year period. After taking
off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure
in my nation's history. I garnered unprecedented sympathy for the U.S. after
the World Trade Center attacks, and less than a year later made the U.S the
most hated country in the world, possibly the largest failure of diplomacy
in world history. I also set the all-time record for most people worldwide to
simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million), shattering the
record for protests against any person in the history of mankind.

I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, pre-emptive
attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against
the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. citizens, and the world
community. I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a
cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families-in-wartime.
In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking
Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends. I am the first
President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my
presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security. I am
supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD. I have
so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES
All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's
library, sealed and unavailable for public view. All records of SEC
investigations into my insider-trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed
in secrecy and unavailable for public view. All records or minutes from
meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy
policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review. I am a
member of the Republican Party.

[grasswire]

1. wow -- who authored this?

bookmarked!

[Sonoman]

2. Where did that come from? knr

[Newest Reality]

3. When he applies for a

Decider position, that should get him in. Not that he would ever have to, or be able to really work at anything without someone doing the job for him.

And we wonder why it is so difficult right now for liberals/progressives/democrats. When you realize just how this clown become President, (and who is offered to us each time around in elections) it becomes clear that something is drastically wrong with the system we are struggling within. That's daunting and, the more you learn, very overwhelming. Yet, the stakes are getting higher and higher with each step towards a total, corporatist society, nay, world.

We are living life out of balance in so very many ways. I don't mean that as an ethical or moral indictment based on my own ideals, nor would I push any solution or ism here. Balance is a matter of perspective and might just represent a sense of place, order, harmony and relationship to what is going on around us. When you consider it that way, there are many, many factors that are adding chaos and strife to our collective experience. Some are natural, yet many are devious, contrived and solely profit-motivated.

So, no matter how you define chaos, there seems to be plenty to go around and even more brewing in a big pot on the stove. You can smell it. Chaos can be useful, in my opinion, when we can recognize it and the potential it has to lead us to what is called a bifurcation point. There either the chaos continues and worsens, or a new form of order can be found.

Will we be able to see that and recognize points where a different way of living will be possible? Will we be prepared to adapt and live that way? Or, will we continue to contribute, (consciously and unconsciously) to a way of life that is swinging wildly, like a washing machine with an unbalanced load, out of comfort and order and sanity and reasonableness for the sake of a few who are capitalizing on the shock and awe being visited on so many people?

Carpe Diem? Do we really have a choice about this?

[grasswire]

4. also sealed are the records of his community service ..

...in Houston, I believe it was. Oh, and the abortion he paid for -- some girlfriend who subsequently married an FBI agent and clammed up then.

[Scuba]

5. Too bad Obama can't run against him again in 2012. n/t