President criticizes self while emulating Dennis Kucinich

[The Sushi Bandit]

August 4, 2003

Dennis Kucinich’s growing support leads Bush-Cheney team to try new strategy.

Crawford, Texas — In light of Democratic Presidential candidate Dennis Kucinich’s growing popularity, spurred in large part by his willingness to critique the President on a variety of issues, President Bush is introducing a new tactic in his campaign. The President has begun to criticize himself in an effort to reach undecided and independent voters.

“I’m taking the entire month off here at my ranch, and at the same time I’m trying to cut overtime pay for millions of Americans,” the President said outside his Crawford, Texas ranch. “Why, that’s just crazy!”

Political adviser Karl Rove said that despite warnings from media strategists and the DLC (Democratic Leadership Council) that Kucinich’s attacks on the President would backfire, the strategy “isn’t hurting them at all. I now feel that the best way to counter Kucinich’s message is to emulate it ourselves as best we can.”

Meanwhile, President Bush continued to attack himself during an impromptu press conference at his ranch.

“I promised to recover the momentum of our economy… What have I done? Nothing! I pledged to reward the effort and enterprise of working Americans. What have I done? Nothing!” the President said.

“It’s time somebody stood up to me. And what better person than me?”

[MUAD_DIB]

1. Satire right?

Kind of laughing as I type this. This sounds too much like a
Kent Brachman commercial.

Still laughing....

[rock]

2. I can no longer tell made-up rubbish from the real thing.

True rubbish.

[Ilsa]

3. * is too full of himself

to be that self-deprecating. He still thinks he's Jesus reincarnated.

[zbdent]

4. He'd better be careful, he might just end up sending himself to Gitmo

where he will be guarded from harming himself for the duration of the never-ending war on terrorism.