Laid off twice in 2 years... running out of options.. trying to not lose all hope

[9thkvius]

Honestly, I am not sure what to do anymore. My savings have been depleted and I don't know what to do. I don't feel like anyone in a position to actually help people like me cares anymore. I don't feel like I am even on their radar. I feel invisible. Does anyone in government care? Do they? I mean, really? Because it sure as hell doesn't feel like it from where I am sitting.

Some quick background on me: I am an IT professional with a variety of certifications and certificates. I have a college degree. My fiancee also has a college degree and also works in IT. I was laid off the first time in August 2009. She was laid off in September 2010. I managed to find another job in March 2011, only to be laid off again after three months. Neither of us currently has any real prospects, and only a couple of minor part-time jobs and unemployment insurance as income. I cashed out my 401(k) last year, and that helped us stay afloat a while, but now that money is gone. Our savings has gone from five figures to (barely) three. We don't own a home, we rent. We have no children, only dogs and cats (whom we consider our kids, honestly). We do not live extravagantly.

Both of us are concerned about what is going to happen in the next few months. We are now paying COBRA for both of us, which is almost the same as paying two rents, honestly. It might as well be. The cost of health care would be hard even if both of us were still working, but it is truly ironic that being unemployed is actually increasing our expenses in such a dramatic way. We are now in the process of figuring out what possessions we can sell to try to raise some more money.

We have both been applying to all sorts of jobs. We each typically apply to between 5 and 10 jobs a week, including custom cover letters and resumes that we try to tailor to the job. She at least has gotten some interviews. I have not had any since the ones last fall that led to my last job. They took 5 months to hire me for a job that lasted 3 months. My boss decided after my 90 day probationary period to let me go, and I am not sure why, only that he never seemed to warm to me. The general consensus seems to be that it was some sort of personality clash. Whatever the reason, I was quickly disposed of, with less than two hours passing from the time I was notified that I was being let go to the point where I had all of my stuff in boxes in my car and was driving home, stunned. I had no idea. That was a month ago.

I am exhausted. It is hard enough keeping my chin up, when my future wife has literally cried herself to sleep on several occasions. Our wedding is this fall, in November. At this point we have already wiped out all the money we had set aside for a honeymoon, and so we have put off any plans for anything at all after the wedding. Now we are wondering if the wedding itself will be affected, since we may have to borrow money from our parents that would have been used for the wedding. The upcoming wedding seems to be one of the few things that has sustained us, especially her. If we end up scaling that back too, I know she will probably be affected more than me, probably heartbroken to put it mildly.

And it is made worse by the attitudes of so many people, even some people who know us, who seem to think that all of this is some sort of reflection on our character. They think we are unemployed because we have no ambition and "just haven't tried hard enough" or something. It's one thing to hear this from Republicans and the like on TV or talk radio. It's quite another to hear it from actual people all around you, in grocery stores, meetings, career centers (!?!) and even in our church (thankfully not from our Pastor at least). This is after I borrowed even more money in student loans to get "retrained" and make myself more employable. We have applied for literally hundreds of jobs - each. We have tried all sorts of websites, career centers, and employment agencies. We have tried personal networking, professional networking, and cold calls to places with large IT departments. All to no avail. There are times I applied for a job and got a rejection e-mail the same day. I am 40 years old, and she is in her early 30's. We are supposed to have some of the best years of our lives ahead of us, especially together after the wedding. We are not supposed to feel like we are plummeting off a cliff and things are only going to continue to get worse.

Please tell me we are not alone. Please tell me that things will get better, and that someone out there with power and influence actually cares about helping people like us. I desperately want to believe it. But honestly, I have not seen a whole hell of a lot being done for people like us lately. The government seems intent on giving the wealthy whatever they want to their little hearts' desire, and the rest of us are just out of luck. Even the President, whom we both voted for, seems to have bought into the idea that there isn't really that much the government can do for those of us who are scraping the bottom of the barrel. At least that is what it feels like.

So convince me I am wrong. Please. Or better yet, convince the President and Congress that there are a lot of people like us out there, we are getting desperate, and we need help. The President has certainly shown the ability to be eloquent and persuasive on occasion. Is he on our side? I want to believe that he is. But I need deeds, not words, to convince me. Words are not going to pay my COBRA costs, or put gas in my car to take me to the next interview or job fair.

Anyway, I have no idea how many of you will read this, or whether or not any of it will make a difference in the end. But for those of you who do, thanks for listening, and thanks for caring even a little bit.

Sincerely,

9thkvius

[gateley]

1. There are DUers who have found jobs after a year or more

of looking, don't give up!

I know how you feel. I'm kind of there, too. Only work two days a week and if I weren't living with my brother, I'd be out on the street. Before I got here I actually looked up how to live in your car, but you need money to buy gas to drive from place to place, and I had none.

My cat eats the best food available (which is expensive), I eat Top Ramen, so I know what you mean about pets being our kids. :)

:hug:

ETA: Here's a DU forum which might be helpful. Or help you from feeling alonel.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topics&forum=362

[aquart]

2. I wasn't going to reply because I've dropped out completely

But I'm very familiar with the despair. What you have going for you is someone who loves you, hard as it is, you are way ahead of the game, both of you.

Can you do me a favor and print out this statement as a letter to every fucking one of your elected representatives? Every one. State, federal, local. Stick your resumes in the letters, too.

Snail mail has an odd effect on them. My mom taught me Silence is consent. Never suffer in silence. And NEVER suffer alone.

You voted for them (or they want your vote next time) but you have been abandoned. Maybe they need to feel as frightened for their jobs as you were for yours.

If you make the person stuck with opening the mail cry, that's okay.

You've told us the truth. Now tell the ones who can change what's true.

(And occasionally a can of cheap house brand tuna is okay with any cat.)

[OKDem08]

3. I can relate ... I was unemployed for longer than expected

have you thought about moving elsewhere? There are areas of the country less affected by the economic depression. I wish I could be of more help. Best of luck to you.

[Vinnie From Indy]

4. Think about getting in the business of serving peoples vice

No matter the economy, people will always feed their impulses. Liquor, drugs and sex! Recession proof businesses.

Cheers!

[brewens]

5. Our whole IT department got shut down. We became an

affiliate of a large group of blood centers which for most of us has been a good thing. While the IT department itself doesn't exist anymore we still have a couple IT people. They actually work for the affiliate now but we have to have some computer whizzbangs on site.

The rest of the IT people were able to transfer to other departments. Seems their software expertise is still needed. Only one actually left to take another job.

We now have a system where instead of calling one of our buddies at HQ, we call the "help" desk. They determine the priority and who to contact to solve the problem and then they email or call the guy I would have already talked to and likely had the problem fixed before they even answered the phone. Pretty slick alright!

That kind of thing going on everywhere makes it tough on you guys. I know a guy with some kind of computer science degree that graduated a couple years ago. He works the night desk at a Red Lion. He may never get a job in his field.

[WingDinger]

6. Expand your job search to include process engineer.

You have the degree, and the troubleshooting skills.

[ejpoeta]

7. I agree with the other poster. Print it and send this to the papers.

All of them. I will bet you there are a fair amount of folks in a similar situation as you right now. You aren't alone as you think you are. Many people have gone through their savings as they try to find work. And the fact that this is your second time makes it even worse because your savings had already been depleted from the last time . I bet there are PLENTY who are in THAT boat right there. Please Please Please send this to every paper you can think of to send it to. It has that message that a lot of folks might need to hear right now who are in the same place as you. And maybe those who think that things are so great because they've got theirs.

[grasswire]

8. I'm sure you've thought long and hard...

....and I know that nothing feels worse than someone giving you advice that you've already heard a dozen times and discarded.

But.

Have you considered creating your own job? Maybe working for someone else isn't going to happen. Maybe you could work as consultants in your profession.

Or maybe you could do another thing altogether -- something based on a hobby or interest.

Raise llamas. Be an antique picker. Start a food cart. Get into woodworking or another artisanal skill and do art shows. Make something to sell at farmers market. Sew custom pillows. Learn a really obscure trade, such as shoe making.

I've seen a man make a new career for himself by positioning as a social media consultant for his previous profession.

So I hope and think there are some opportunities to change direction and give up the frustrating search.

My best wishes to you and each of us. I respect you and honor your wish to work.

[Ruby the Liberal]

9. You are not wrong, and you are not alone.

I will tell you that things will get better, noting that things may get worse before they improve. I cannot tell you that anyone in Washington DC cares, because they fucking don't. If they did, they would be listening to the Reichs and Krugmans and Warrens of the world and not the Geithners and Summers and Rubins.

My job was eliminated in June of 2009 and I found work December of 2009. I was just laid off from that last position 2 weeks ago. Trust me - I hear you. My insurance went from $64 a month to $562. I have no idea how I am going to swing that.

I hope you and your fiancee (or at least one of you) finds something very soon. Best wishes on your upcoming marriage ceremony! If you need to scale it back, do so. Me? I would rather scale back the ceremony and take the spectacular honeymoon vacation for the memories (as one lasts an hour and the other, days), but that is just me. Thought I would throw it out there. Determine what is priority to you both and stick to the game plan.

You probably know about www.dice.com but in the offchance you don't, check it out. I don't have IT skills, but a lot of folks here were able to get by in 2009/10 due to contract work they were able to pick up from there. My former company (that laid me off in '09) used the site extensively for contract work as well as technical recruiting.

Just know that you two aren't alone.

:grouphug:

[roody]

10. It sucks, for sure.

Your love and family are what really matters. Rethink everything. Maybe another country. Teach for America is hiring scab teachers. Those who look down on you are just scared---it could be them tomorrow. I believe we are all in for hard times. Plant edible perennials. Enjoy today. Enjoy your love. Today is all we really have. Breathe.

[jtuck004]

11. Two things

1 - You are not alone. There are literally millions of people in this position.

2 - As far as "And it is made worse by the attitudes of so many people," - FUCK Them.
This wasn't caused by you, and you (and your fiance) are doing everything you can. Know that, and also know that the urge to be self-righteous and judgemental is incredibly strong in people who have their basic needs met. (Makes me think Maslow missed a step in his pyramid).

Just to be realistic, it may not get better, and don't make the mistake of thinking TPTB are going to help us. I posted something about a year or two ago which indicated that the unemployment problem that started in 2008/9 may well continue for 20 years, and culminate in far lower living conditions for tens of millions of people. So far we seem to be right on track for that, or worse. A look at the jobs created each year for the past 30-40 indicate that we can't possibly create enough to forestall that. To top that off millions upon millions of people who are newly re-employed have seen their income halved, or worse.

I hope you can keep your cobra, but don't keep paying until your money is gone. Take stock of what is around you and see if you need to move to a cheaper place, or even another state if unemployment is particularly bad where you are. Conserve your resources where you can.

I (like many others here) worked in IT for a long time, working on networks ranging in size from a few people to 26,000 users. But those opportunities, like the businesses that held them, are gone now. My record with resumes and jobs has been similar to yours, and being past 55 I would be fooling myself to think I am on equal footing with people 20 or 30 years younger.

So I took a tax class, worked a season with one of those soul-sucking advance loan tax places (was able to funnel a few people to taxaide for free asssistance, helps the karma), and may be able to turn this into something I can do for myself at a more reasonable rate. Since the national info tells us there is only 1 job for every 7 applicants now, I am spending at least half or more of the time looking into small business ideas. Don't let the small amount you might make throw you off - in another 10 years that might get you a at least minimal food and shelter - housing is continuing its downward slide.

Don't give up. As bad as it is there are more resources than ever, including dumpsters, in the U.S. It is unfortunate that much of it is withheld until people are in major trouble, but that is the reality.

Just don't let your prior thinking and knowledge get in the way of recognizing opportunities.

Good Luck!

[Peter1x9]

12. You fell for the same lie that several million people (including myself) fell for

Yes, I was also an IT major. I learned the hard way that choosing something you like and going to college for it no longer guarantees you the American dream (unless you happen to be lucky enough to be born into wealth and privilege).

It doesn't matter anymore what you like to do. What matters is whether or not what you choose to do can be done over a wire or on an assembly line somewhere else. We've all been sold out so the rich can have five mansions instead of one, and a few extra numbers on their bank balances.

To top it all off for myself, I was declared fully disabled at the age of 29 due to a rare type of arthritis that I've had since I was a kid. It is so rare that I went undiagnosed for 14 years, during which it fused my back together and destroyed my left ankle.

[Mad Machinist]

13. Stand Tall

Keep your head up. I've been where u are. How would you feel about starting your own business if you could? This was once and still the backbone of this country. There is a small group of us, hard right, hard left, and everyone in between trying to change things so it is easier to start your own business.

[soryang]

14. Trucking firms are begging for Class A drivers every day

This job sucks, but it pays the mortgage and comes with fair health insurance and other benefits.

Its a hardship but if you are really desperate.... Most people criticize me for mentioning it, but trucking only stops during the worst crises and some companies have a no layoff policy no matter what happens because employees are too valuable to sacrifice for a temporary cash pinch. It costs about $5000.00 to get trained but some companies will either train you themselves or help you pay for outside training.

You can find companies hiring easily by looking on google. Find companies with a terminal in your area or that you think you might like. You can live just about wherever you like and still find employment (without moving). Downside, you never get home. It's like being a grunt in the service.

[European Socialist]

18. Sweatshop on wheels--that is why there are openings.

[ipaint]

15. You are not alone.

My husband is 58, I am 55. He has been unemployed for 2.5 years. I was a self employed artist when the depression hit and now I clean toilets for the haves as an "independent contractor" i.e wage slave with no benefits, workman's comp or health ins.

This may be as good as it gets.

The rich, their greed and gluttony have stolen my savings in each of the last six recessions I have worked through and ruined my life with this current, totally unnecessary depression. With no recovery in sight it's now a daily battle for both my husband and I to hang on for dear life. Oh and no health ins.

Now they are coming for our social security.

There isn't a politician in Washington that is going to do a thing for us. We are just so much excess human garbage to them, their corporate criminal cohorts and wall street scum.
Any change will begin outside of Washington and the battle will be long and difficult.

I wish you luck.

[Mad Machinist]

16. I ask you to

stand with me then. What I am trying to do will PERMANENTLY reshape everything. It will not only solve alot of unemployment problems, it will give us a major step towards eco-sustainability. I need to have some posts before I can start a thread, but once I can I WILL show the problems we currently have and the way forward. Nobody wants this to get out whether they are big business or the eco groups. IF this does catch on among the "little" people, we will then have the power to change whatever we wish.

[golfguru]

17. Numerical control programmers are in high demand

Granted it is not computer programming. It requires familiarity with manufacturing processes. But it does parallel IT in that it requires attention to detail, familiarity with using computers, and ability to focus. I was deeply involved in that field for many years and good workers were always in short supply.

[blue97keet]

19. The perpetual lie about the forever impending "skills shortage" is at least 40 years old

I graduated (physical science) into the 1970 job depression. Fell into the non-internet aviation and defense hi reliability non-IT software sector in the 1980's, after a series of lab tech jobs. After a mass layoff from a major corporation in 1989 came a series of temp contract jobs in safety-critical software test and development. Everything has trended toward "permatemp" employment and away from direct employment since the 1980's. My last contract lasted 3 1/2 years but ended in 2002 when a major defense contract was canceled after 911 and at the time even the "IT" market was already dead as a doornail. Today I am basically dropped out and retired and 65. When all the political propaganda artists proclaim how we gotta get more kids interested in science and math and engineering, I just gotta say that's OK for 1950's Sci-Fi movie making but that's about all. With the economics miserable science profession so proficient at screwing everything up with systemic risk and "free trade" who needs safety critical engineering anyway?

[golfguru]

20. First of all, do not give up. Second,

learn numerical control programming. There is more
demand than supply of qualified programmers.

Third, best luck to you.

[Yavin4]

21. I Don't Know Where You Live, But My Suggestion Is Move to a Better Part of the Country

The DC metro area is always a good place for jobs because of the presence of the federal government and the many contractors that service them.

Once there, work on getting your national security clearance. Once you have that, then you have full job security.