I was just invited to a Promise Keepers Meeting

[chemp]

**How dod this get into Economy? Mods- Please relocate.**

A friend of mine, with whom I play poker as well as freelance work, is a proud Christian. I've had to talk him into toning it down on his business web site. Subtle works.
Christians will understand and you won't scare off those who are not. When ever the topic is brought up, i would tell him that I am not religious. Then topic ends.

Sidebar: I am separated from my wife, and I just met a nice woman, with whom I am spending some time. My wife knows about this and gives her blessing. We want the other to be happy.

Well, this morning, my friend calls me, and asks me if I want to travel with him to Akron, a good 10 hour drive. He said it was a meet up that I would enjoy/ benefit from. Upon probing he reveals it is Promise Keepers.
He starts telling me that some poker players have found God, and gambling isn't a sin and bla bla bla. I have to come clean and tell him that I am an Atheist. I lead a good life, Rarely drink , honest man. He brings up "cheating" on my wife. I tell him that We are separated and it isn't cheating. "in the eyes of the lord, it is."
We weren't married "in the eyes of the lord"
"It doesn't matter"

Now I'm stewing. I told my friend that I wouldn't mind the ride, then visit Ohio, but I would not enjoy the meeting, and cold get into trouble with my big mouth.
No no. Why don't come for the first day, and then decide for the second. TWO DAYS!

This is really testing my friendship. I don't want to hurt my friend. how do I let him down, without insulting him? He is my friend and this is the first real religious discussion we have had.

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

1. If he respects you as a friend, he will respect you saying no.

[Bunny]

2. Exactly.

If he's really a friend, he'll have no problem with a polite decline of the invitation.

Speaking of Promise Keepers, I was in a meeting last week, and the man announced three times that he'd be attending the Promise Keepers convention this week. Three times. Since the purpose of our meeting had nothing to do with religion, I thought that was odd, especially the repeated announcement. I didn't know where he was going with it, so I ignored that part and continued with the meeting. Weird.

[get the red out]

3. You are being very tolerant of him

Considering he is accusing you of wrong-doing, you are being very tolerant of him and not wanting to hurt him, though he didn't seem to mind possibly hurting you by accusing you of cheating on your wife (by his religious standards rather than any standards you and she have set for yourselves).

You have every right to kindly decline. I don't accept every invitation I get from friends and it doesn't offend them, they don't accept all my invitations and it doesn't offend me either.

If someone asked me to attend a wonderful meeting with them about the joys of wifely submission and told me that it was quite obvious that I wasn't right with GAWD in this area, I would decline. But it wouldn't be all that polite.

[Booster]

4. If he chooses not to be your friend because you don't go to

this stupid meeting, then he wasn't much of a friend to begin with. Just explain to him that you are not interested.

[bemildred]

5. He will brainwash you, waste your time, and take your money.

If you let him. Real friends stay friends even when you don't obey.

[demigoddess]

6. sometimes it is a knee jerk reaction from the religious bunch

they feel it is a requirement that they make these offers. To save your soul etc. They think someday you will see the light and accept and they must never miss that chance or they will be letting you down. I would just keep refusing and don't take it personally.

[Autumn Colors]

7. This probably won't end well

From personal experience here, you've now become a "project" to this person. The goal being to "save" you. The offers, accusations of cheating, and general annoying persistance isn't going to stop, even after this meeting date has passed (no matter what your answer).

I'm guessing this will end up how my friendship with a fundie did. It ended. At some point, it will probably become so annoying that you'll have to give this person an ultimatum ... and the friendship will end, because the proselytizing won't.

The person who had been my friend was a friend for more than 20 years, but after she "got saved", the last 5 years of the friendship were "hell" ... it hurt to cut off a friendship with that much history, but the annoyance had outweighed the benefit for a long time before I made that decision.

Sorry, but this looks like how it's going to go in this story, too.

[Jim__]

8. If you can't turn him down without insulting him, he doesn't respect your opinion.

I'm an atheist with many Christian friends. We discuss religion and politics all the time. None of them would ever extend an invitation to me that I couldn't refuse just based on my general beliefs. I also would never expect them to attend an atheist or secular meeting just to satisfy me.

[Warpy]

9. Uh, because no means no?

I'm always astonished by the lack of personal boundaries some believers have when they try to bully friends and family into anything religious.

My suggestion is that if he won't stop bothering you, come down with a case of the strategic flu (koff koff, SNNNIFFFLE).

[dbackjon]

10. Tell him you will go if he first spends two days at an athiest meeting

:)