Proposed Ban on Pillows... Comedy? Gun control analogy

[waylon]

Due to a recent increase in domestic violence, a proposed ban on pillows is being drafted.

After an extensive 3 hour study, it has been determined that the rise in sibling squabbles is directly connected to the presence of pillows in the home. We here at the Stop Law Abiding Citizens Kooperative! (SLACK) are very concerned with the prevalence of unlicensed, unregulated pillow ownership and use.

We believe pillow owners are, by nature, not capable of responsibly owning a pillow without having first been thoroughly qualified by a federal qualification test, muliple fees, and ongoing harrassment by those who do not own pillows. Although the current pillow legislation in regards to adolecsent indiscretions is not being enforced, we believe more legislation will fix the problem. We also believe future legislation will be needed to enforce current legislation, but that legislation requires further study by our self appointed council on pillow safety staffed by non pillow owners. Again, we are not certain as to why adolescent aggression continues in spite of our current legislation, but we are certain that law abiding citizens are responsible for it.

We are committed to taking pillows out of the home in an effort to make the public safer and more civil. We feel that pillows are dangerous, unnecessary, and lead to further violence on siblings like, wrestling, slap fights and wedgies! We are proposing legislation to restrict size, weight, and density of materials used in current pillow manufacturing. Further, we will propose mandatory background checks on all individuals who wish to purchase a pillow. This full body cavity search/background check will be performed by John Ashcroft himself.

Failure to comply with the new regulations will result in fines and prison time. (Note: the offending siblings will not suffer any discipline but, we believe they will be magically inspired to behave appropriately because they no longer have the tools to act out on their aggressive behavior. After all, we really cannot control criminals or adolescents, but we can punish law abiding citizens and parents.)

All individuals wishing to purchase a pillow will be assumed irresponsible until proven otherwise. Remember, although you have a constitutional right to own pillows, we can, and will re-write the Consitution at any time should we feel "threatened" in any way.

Thank you for your mandated cooperation

[slackmaster]

1. Existing laws aren't being enforced

How many people have actually been prosecuted for removing the "Do not remove this tag under penalty of law" tags?

:freak:

[waylon]

2. I mentioned that...

I like your sig line lol

[MrBenchley]

3. Looks like Dennis Miller and Donald Rumsfeld have competition

in that "Least Funny American" contest....

[waylon]

4. oh come on....

Im not sure whether to take that as an insult, or not! I would assume it was intended that way though.


No marks for humor, at all?

[MrSandman]

5. I think that the humor illustrates the futility of prohibitionists...

Good marks.

[CO Liberal]

6. How Many Die Each Year From Drive-By Pillow Fights......

...as opposed to drive-by shootings???

:-)

Your basic premise is flawed. While it's true that pillows are present in homes where domestic violence occurs, the pillows are generally not used to commit the violence. But where a gun is present in a home where domestic violence occurs, chances are much higher that the gun played a part in the violence. And many times with fatal results.

[waylon]

7. My premise was

that throwing legislation at inanimate objects while ignoring the actual behavior is laughable. I think you may have taken the pillow analogy too seriously. I simply used that to point out the correlation between behavior, and the "insturments" of violence. I was not establishing a link between pillows and all domestic violence as you suggest. I was specifically highlighting "pillow fights" between kids. I think its a fair analogy, if not a cheesy attempt at humor

[CO Liberal]

8. I Don't Believe It's a Fair Analogy At All

Pillows are rarely used to injure or kill another person - circumstances like the finale of "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" being the exception rather than the rule. But guns are used in violent acts each and every day.

[waylon]

10. Cause?

What is the cause of the violent acts, the guns or the people? That was the analogy I made. I can take pillows out of the house, but my kids will still fight. More gun legislation or banning guns altogether will not decrease the violent behavior.

Guns do not cause crime, people do. Any correlation between US violent crime and guns that attempts to attribute causation, has been refuted countless times. You cant make guns responsible for crime, it doesnt work.

[CO Liberal]

11. No One Is Saying The Gun is "Responsible"

As the pro-gunners have said ad nauseum, a gun it only a tool. Those of us who advocate reasonable gun control are looking for effective ways to control distribution of the tool.

And personally, I don't see the causes of violence changing much until the damn Republicans are vored out of power in thsi country. Which won't happen as long as the Nuts Ruining America keep funnelling money to them.

[waylon]

12. You said it brother!

That is exactly my point, the tool is not the problem. The problem is the behavior, ie the culture that permits, enables, encourages but does not punish the offender.

I dont know if Id go so far as to say removing bush et al will have any impact on violent crime but I do sympathize with your intentions.

[dace]

13. So punish the innocent?

So your premise is to eliminate the possibility of the use of a gun in domestic violence by taking all guns. Then what happens when more violence is done on spouses with knives? Do you take the knives? Then what do you take? When does it end? You can't punish the innocent and think it will affect the guilty.....it just doesn't happen that way.

[alwynsw]

14. I like your style!

Welcome to DU. Grow a thick skin if you're planning to inhabit the Gungeon.

Grow it fast, we need the playmates!

[-..__...]

9. Bravo!

It's about time someone stood up to the corrupt pillow industry and hold them accountable for the suffering and misery they create.

I should also call everyones attention to the equally dangerous and irresponsible tool industry.




http://www.allmax.com/MILT/

Unbeknownst to most Americans, a Danger lurks in our homes. As common as a clothespin but as deadly as a snake, many look directly at it without realizing the menace in their midst.

Yes, friends, we are talking about Full Auto Assault Tools. Studies have shown that the MAJORITY of American homes have at least ONE of these devices in them already, with more being added all the time, thanks to efforts by the Tool Lobby to promote their ownership. Power tools- in the hands of unskilled and unlicensed users- kill a tremendous number of people each year- maiming most, electrocuting the remainder. Many of the victims are children.


Please, I urge you; next time you're in Home Depot and admiring that DeWalt orbital sander or impact drill, please reconsider and think of the children.