War-Torn Marriages

[Been Fishing]

Army Seeks to Save War-Torn Marriages
Wed Dec 29, 6:04 PM ET
With studies showing divorce rates as high as 21 percent among couples where one spouse has been sent off to war, the Army is spending $2 million on a variety of marriage programs, including vouchers for romantic getaways to places like the Opryland Hotel in Nashville, Tenn.
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Now cuz-sin, I wants to know if’n I got this rite.
Ther’s this mary’ed, hetero couple, ya’see.
One tere the other, or both, is in the mill-I-terry,
National Guard, or Reserves.

One tere the other goes to War in Irack.
They stays there,
Dueing there extended ture of duty.

When they gets back home,
This here War and service caused a stress
On there marriage.
Don’t ya know.

So, this here mill-I-terry off and gets
Discount tickets to Oppriland U. S. of A.
So, they sends this couple there to sing
Patriotic songs, dance a hodown two step,
Attend a home B-B-Q.
They may even have prayed over
This here married couple.

Now, the mill-I-terry don’t want no stressed marriages,
Don’t ya know,
Cause they might have ta go ‘n send these here same soldiers
Off to War again in Iran, North Kerrea,
Or back to Irack or Afgrannystand.

Now, cuz-sin,
Have I got it straight.
Is this here how Fox News would have says it?