Patti Davis takes a whirl at writing Bush's Inaugural speech: "Draft #9"

[Bush_Eats_Beef]

Draft No. 9
What George W. Bush might have said—at least as our columnist jokingly imagines it
WEB EXCLUSIVE
By Patti Davis
Newsweek
Updated: 6:21 p.m. ET Jan. 20, 2005

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6849820/site/newsweek/

“My fellow Americans, I stand before you now as the proud winner of another four years. I have a mandate. In plain English, I can do whatever I darn well please.” (Note to Prez: a bit hostile, I think. Can we get the word freedom in as soon as possible?)

“It is the policy of the United States, as long as I’m in charge, to seek and support the growth of democratic movements and institutions in every nation and culture. If those places don’t want democracy, we will move in and do it for them. They don’t know what’s good for them. I do.” (Note to the president: Definitely use the word freedom here. Freedom’s like ice-cream—can’t go wrong with it. Might even be able to get away with the moving in on them part then.)

“We will persistently clarify the choice before every ruler and every nation: it’s my way or the highway. I am eternally right. Fifty-nine million people said so. We will succeed in imposing our own style of government on the unwilling. I’m from Texas. I don’t give up. I’m a confident guy—everyone knows that. I talk with a twang, I walk with a swagger and I carry a big stick. (Note to Leader of the Free World: Lose this graph … please.)

“We have known divisions in this country. Matter of fact, we still know them. We are a divided nation. Just look at those folks with the blue wrist bands way back there behind the barricades (Note to fact-checker: we are having barricades, aren’t we? Don’t want rabble-rousers too close to me.) Let me be clear. All you people in the so-called Blue States? I don’t care about you. I’m a Red State guy and there are plenty of us out there. We will prevail. Gosh darn it, we have four years in which to do it. Should be enough time if we work hard.” (Note to GWB: Your confidence is impressive, sir, but could we tone it down? Once again, more use of the word freedom. Will check on the barricade situation.)

Davis, the daughter of Nancy and Ronald Reagan, is a writer based in Los Angeles

[hang a left]

1. Thanks for the laugh> eom