"I've snookered people my entire life...."

[kentuck]

I always got what I wanted when I was a kid. Even when I grew up and went to college, I was able to get other people to do my work or let me slide with my grades. Even during the Vietnam War, I was able to get some strings pulled and get into the National Guard. And I was able to go AWOL from the Guard and get away with it.

Then I started drinking and doing drugs. Mostly after all my business ventures failed financially - but I was able to make a killing off them. I guess I was just born under a lucky star. My biggest break came when I got the taxpayers down in Texas to pay for a new stadium - then I sold it and made a killing.

But the luckiest day of my life was the day I found Jesus. I found that if you said your were "born again", nobody held anything against you - no matter what you might have done in the past. Even Laura was ready to take me back when I told her I had taken Christ as my Savior and that I had given up drinking. She still doesn't know I drink like a fucking fish.

Now, I'm able to pull the same scam on the American people - mostly Republicans. I just tell them I'm a "born again" Christian and that I believe in "family values" and they would roll in cactus and eat cow shit for me. Yeah, I really appreciate those people. Yep, life is good.

[glarius]

1. He can't work his "charm" on the rest of the world though!

I watched his "conciliatory" speech in Europe today and it was evident he didn't fool any of them....The applause was rather sparse and unenthusiastic....I watched a report on CBC tonight and Don Murray said pretty much the same thing....He likened the speech to a school teacher scolding and lecturing....

[MO_Dem]

2. And his rich buddies and he

are gonna have so much fun when they've snookered us out of our social security and stick us with the burden of a huge national debt that he's had so much fun running up. What a great country this is for rich folks!

[DemoTex]

3. "She still doesn't know I drank like a fucking fish."

Sorry Kentuck, you are way off the mark with your verb. Change the past tense "drank" to the present tense "drink", and the sentence will correctly read: She still doesn't know I drink like a fucking fish. Know what I mean, Vern?

[kentuck]

4. I fixed it, Vern !

:)

[BeFree]

5. I can always tell a lie

And they'll believe me every time!

Is this a great b*** country, or what?

Oh, and by the wy kids, don't do what I did: Smoked pot and went aWol, most of you would never get away with it, 'cause you ain't me.