Write Your Projected January 28 Headline and Lead Here!

[DoveTurnedHawk]

Clark Shocks Kerry as New Hampshire Voters Boost War Heroes

Associated Press (Manchester, NH): Riding a wave of support from Independent voters, General (Ret.) Wesley K. Clark edged out fellow war hero Senator John Kerry 30% to 28% in New Hampshire yesterday, in a shocking upset that defied the polls and is sure to ignite Clark's candidacy. Former Vermont Governor Howard Dean came in third at 19% and Senator John Edwards took fourth with 14%. No other candidate garnered more than single-digit support.

Exit polls attribute Clark's upset victory to Independent voters, who are allowed to vote in either the Republican or Democratic primary in New Hampshire. Statewide, Independents outnumbered registered Democrats last night, 54% to 46%. Among Democrats, Kerry had a clear advantage over Clark, 40% to 23%, but Clark prevailed over Kerry among Independents by a margin of 2 to 1.

A jubilant Clark declared, "Gert and I are grateful for all the time we had to get to know the people of New Hampshire, and we are grateful for their support. This is a great win, and I can't wait for February 3rd." Polls have indicated Clark has significant support in states voting on February 3, and his unexpected victory in New Hampshire will likely further increase his support.

Kerry was gracious in his remarks, but vowed to fight on. "General Clark ran a great campaign, and I have nothing but good things to say about him. But I think it's also clear based on the numbers that our message is resonating among Democrats, and I think we're going to do great among Democrats next week." Nearly all of the states holding elections on February 3 are "closed primary" states, where only registered Democrats can vote in their own contests.

In stark contrast to his fiery concession speech in Iowa, Dean was subdued last night, but he too vowed to continue his campaign for the Democratic nomination. "Of course I'm disappointed, but we got delegates in New Hampshire, and we're running a national campaign. We've got the money and the message to do well next week, and we will do well."

Edwards, who narrowly missed the 15% threshold to earn delegates, nevertheless pointed to his recent rise in the polls here and the upcoming contests in the South. "We moved up from single digits just last week to a great finish here in New Hampshire, and we've been raising lots of money, and next week is South Carolina. We're going to win in South Carolina and we're going to do well all throughout the South, so this campaign is really just getting started."

<...>

DTH

[FreeperSlayer]

1. Democrats Unite, Vow to Defeat Bush

ABB!

Bush Out!

[BurtWorm]

2. New Witness Surfaces Against Jacko!

A parrot pop singer Michael Jackson keeps in his bedroom may be trying to tell police about Jackson's possibly criminal behavior with young visitors. A spokesman for the DA's office quoted the bird as repeating, "Who's a pretty boy?" and "Want a cracker!"

[Nazgul35]

3. Dem President taking up 1600 residence delayed....

Bush throws tempertantrum, coaxed out of Oval office with offers of candy.....

Ohh....you meant this January 28th.....

:evilgrin:

[Renew Deal]

4. Dean bites the head off a bat during concession speech.

More on page 40

[mikehiggins]

5. Clark Wins New Hampshire Primary: Recalled to Active Duty

At the height of the celebration of his upset victory in the New Hampshire primary, General Clark was approached by two Army officers who delivered official orders recalling the high ranking officer to active duty in Iraq.

White House sources report that the Democratic front-runner will be in charge of landmine removal and toxic waste cleanup efforts in the Sunni triangle. He will head up a new command, known as the Bullseye Brigade. As is customary, the new unit will have its own logo, a large bullseye embroidered on the back of each shirt.

Due to budget shortfalls, the unit, made up entirely of Democrats, will be issued new Mark-IV papier-mache body armor from France.

Upon learning of General Clark's receipt of the orders President Bush was heard to remark, "Mission Accomplished."

[boxster]

12. Good one!

[JohnLocke]

23. Oh, that was great!

:toast: :yourock: :toast: :yourock: :toast:

[robsul82]

6. Dean Wins New Hampshire, Kerry Reveals Himself as T-1000

AP (Manchester, NH) - Call it Redeanption.

Howard Dean, former governor of Vermont, seemed to be on a sinking ship as little as five days ago. A 20-point lead dried up into nothing, the Dean campaign was struggling badly and the resurgent John Kerry seemed to be increasing a lock on the Democratic presidential nomination.

However, none of that mattered Tuesday night, as an extremely positive media blitz by Dean coupled with massive turnout lead to a 31%-27% victory over the Massachusetts senator. What happened next may rank as the surprise of the century.

As Dean, surrounded by jubilant supporters, beckoned to them with a, "Gimme a YEARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! if we're gonna take our country back!," the front doors burst open and in walked John Kerry. Perhaps the new John Kerry, maybe the one he was all along, but it doesn't matter. This one was half-machine and had an Austrian accent with a bazooka left arm to match.

Screaming, "Gov-or-nator, you are TERMINATED!," Kerry pushed a large red button on his left arm and began to cackle. However, a small puff of smoke was the only item to escape from his arm. Dean let out a triumphant, "YEARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!", as a weeping Kerry was taken away from the ballroom by local Manchester police.

When asked to comment, the Reverend Al Sharpton patted down his hair and whistled nervously. More on this story as it develops.

Later.

RJS

[mojo2004]

7. Kerry Wins, Dean a strong Second...

Projection:

Kerry - 37
Dean - 28
Clark - 19

[PAMod]

8. You mean: DEAN ROARS BACK TO 2ND PLACE FINISH...

Kerry hangs on for win.

[On the Road]

15. Yep, That's My Prediction

Kerry first, Dean second, Clark third, Edwards fourth.

Then on to SC and the other states.

[WI_DEM]

9. ok, I'll play

THE COMEBACK KID

Just five days ago the polls showed Howard Dean sliding to third place in a state he led so long in the polls. Then came his televised appearance with his wife, Judy, on Thursday night which seemed to turn the candidate and his slide around. Not enough to win the primary. John Kerry still won but Dean closed the gap impressively in the final weekend losing to Kerry by a 30-26 percent margin. General Wesley Clark came in third with 18 percent. Senator John Edwards came in with 12 percent. Sen. Joe Lieberman attracted 10 percent. Rep. Dennis Kucinich 3 percent and Rev. Al Sharpton approximately 1%.

Dean was gracious in his "concession" speech without any of the high-pitched arm waving which marred his Iowa concession a week ago. He congratulated Sen. Kerry and promised his throng of supporters that this strong showing gave his campaign "a well-needed shot in the arm". He devoted much of his concession speech taking aim at President Bush rather than his Democratic rivals. While he didn't call himself "the comeback kid" a title devised for Bill Clinton after he lost New Hampshire by a closer than expected margin in 1992, his campaign manager, Joe Trippi, was clearly throwing the title around.

Trippi said that Dean has more than enough resources to compete and that the televised interview with the candidate and his wife was an additional fund-raising bonanza. When asked where they expect to win? Trippi said, "Soon, very soon" but was actually looking past the Feb. 3 primaries to caucuses in Washington state, Michigan, and Maine as well as the Feb. 17 Wisconsin primary. But Trippi also stated that he expects Dean to do well on Feb 3rd, particularly in New Mexico and Arizona.

[patricia92243]

10. DEAN IS FRONT RUNNER - AGAIN! 45/15 WIN

[Zomby Woof]

24. he asked for a prediction

Not a wish. ;-)

[Anaxamander]

11. Sharpton Carries Wyoming

...oops, that was from The Daily Show.

[John_H]

13. No Dixie for Dean. Clark, Kerry Take the Fight South.

[Cuban_Liberal]

14. Edwards Upsets Fellow Southerner

Sen. John Edwards (NC) capped a late surge of support to deny a third-place finish to Gen. Wesley Clark (AR) 17%-14%. At the top of the Democratic race for President was Sen. John Kerry (MA) with 33% and former Vermont Gov. Howard Dean in a strong second place finish with 26%.

Clark, who had been previously gaining on Dean, the former front runner until his third-place finish in the Iowa caucuses, showed weakness among registered Democrats, almost 90% of whom chose to support Kerry, Dean or Edwards, exit polling showed....

[Walt Starr]

16. J-Lo now dating Matt Damon

AP - Hollywood - In a surprise, Jennifer Lopez was seen in the company of Matt Damon just days after the announcement her engagement to Ben Affleck was over.

Hollywood insiders wonder if this will be considered a betrayal of long time friend, Ben Affleck, by Matt Damon. Affleck was unavailable for comment.

[blm]

18. HAHAH...probably.

.

[waldenx]

17. DLC destroys uppity liberals' dreams of changing America

with a picture of Clinton laughing.

[WildForKerry]

19. Clark Drops Out after Kerry Win, Realizes He's a little Boy Scout

n/t

[DoveTurnedHawk]

20. LOL, Lots of You Guys Are WAY Funnier Than Me, Certainly!

Bravo! :-)

DTH

[leyton]

21. Panthers still going to Super Bowl

It's all over my local newspaper (being from Charlotte, of course). Not that I'm not glad. But it sure is taking a major portion of the front page every day.

[DjTj]

22. Kerry wins, Lieberman bows out...

...and some other candidates get votes too...

[Endangered Specie]

25. W* coronated King, democratic primary delayed indefinetly

[Bucky]

26. ALIEN MOTHER SHIP DESTROYS MARS PROBE: JLo and Ben back on

Um, you should have specified which paper

[Zomby Woof]

27. Kerry Wins NH by 14 points, 2nd place Dean vows to take south

Dean will falter in the south, as gains there by Clark and Edwards will make it a three-way race with frontrunner Kerry.

[VolcanoJen]

28. President Clark and Vice President Edwards Inaugurated; World Rejoices!

OH... I thought you meant January 2005.

;-)