Advice for Dr. Dean....

[chiburb]

From August J. Pollak:http://www.xoverboard.com/2004_01.html#000402

On how to overcome "the scream"...


So, since such a gaffe is a clear indicator that Dean is truly unfit to be the leader of the free world, here’s a helpful list of things Dean can do to remove the image that he is a bumbling, inexperienced, lackluster example of leadership:

Announce proudly that no president has ever done as much as him for human rights.

Dress up in a crotch-accentuating flight suit and land a jet on an aircraft carrier.

Brag repeatedly about a sub-standard college grade point average.
Get arrested for public rowdiness at a football game.

Attempt to recite a cliché adage at a press conference and promptly forget how it goes in the middle of saying it.

Mount, and promptly fall off, an unpowered Segway scooter.

Drop his dog in front of cameras.

Consistently mispronounce the word "nuclear."

Condescendingly mock the upcoming execution of a death row inmate.

Trade away Sammy Sosa.

Choke on pretzel bits to the point of losing balance and bruising his head.

Attend a public event in which Stevie Wonder is performing and wave to him from the balcony.

Hopefully, Dr. Dean can get a few of these confidence-gaining moves in before the New Hampshire primary. After all, image is everything.

[AntiCoup2K4]

1. That is fucking classic!

:evilgrin:

[patricia92243]

2. Just proves what I've said all along - if he was a pub, everything he did

would be wonderful.

[beaconess]

3. ROFL!

[LibDemAlways]

4. Excellent advice.

And might I add, be sure to mangle the English language at every opportunity and make pronouncements like "Man and fish can co-exist."

It also might be helpful to put an R next to your name in order to gain the teflon coating necessary to immunize you from suffering fallout from any of the above.

[Ripley]

5. You forgot "get arrested for DUI,"

and call a NYTimes reporter "a major league asshole" while campaigning
and pick your nose for a very long time when you in the stadium of the baseball team you own.

I could go on, but I'm disgusted already. :puke:

[are_we_united_yet]

6. Don't forget

Pay off the lying sleazy lowlife media whores to make a big deal out of a trivial event after one tries to energize their troops from a substantial political setback such as the Iowa caucus.

After all, this story is MUCH more important than the loss of civil liberties, jobs being outsourced for Corporate and Wall street profiteering, lying us into a war and systematically selling off the country.

United we stand? Yeah right.

[Polemonium]

7. why I think your on to something

kicking it on

[nomaco-10]

8. YEEEEEEOUGHHAAAAA LMAO

[janx]

9. YEEEAAAGHHH!

http://annatopia.com/pics/dean/iowa/caucus/remixed/reloaded.mp3

[Guaranteed]

10. LOL "Fool me once...shame on you....

Fool me twice...fool me twice....andwewon'tgetfooledagain!"

Best Bush line ever.

[lurk_no_more]

11. From Letterman 01/22/04 by howard dean himself

Top Ten Ways I, Howard Dean, Can Turn Things Around


10. "Switch to decaf"

9. "Unveil new slogan: 'Vote for Dean and get one dollar off you next purchase at Blimpie'"

8. "Marry Rachel on final episode of 'Friends'"

7. "Don't change a thing -- it's going great"

6. "Show a little more skin"

5. "Go on 'American Idol' and give 'em a taste of these pipes"

4. "Start working out and speaking with Austrian accent"

3. "I can't give specifics yet, but it involves Ted Danson"

2. "Fire the staffer who suggested we do this lousy Top Ten list instead of actually campaigning"

1. "Oh, I don't know -- maybe fewer crazy, redfaced rants"


And then there were none!
” JAFO”

[cthrumatrix]

12. we do need a good laugh...thank you

[Armstead]

13. That deserves to be on the cover of DU and circulated widely

Great post.

Whether or not one is a supporter of Dean, the point applies. We have Republicans, including at least one occupying the White House, who commit "gaffes" all the time but are never called on it.

And, whether or not it's biased, the media is dhamefully ruining politics by their endless focus on trivia and ignoring the big picture.

[chiburb]

14. A kick for those just waking up... n/t

.

[chiburb]

15. For the night crew... n/t

.