Disgusting e-mail I received today

[Carolab]

This in my inbox from my supposedly "Democratic" acquaintance (she keeps saying she's a Dem but keeps sending this crap to me...)


L.A.R.K. Program

A person wrote a letter to the White House complaining about the treatment of a captive taken during the Afghanistan war. Below is a copy of the response.

Dear Concerned Citizen:

Thank you for your recent letter criticizing our treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda detainees currently held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. The administration takes these matters seriously, and your opinion was heard loud and clear here in Washington. You'll be pleased to learn that thanks to the concerns of citizens like you we are creating the Terrorist Retraining Program, to be called the "Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers" program, or LARK for short. In accordance with the guidelines of this new program we have decided to place one terrorist under your personal care.

Your detainee has been selected and scheduled for transportation to your residence next Monday. Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of admonishment. We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that yourstandards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with those you so strongly recommended in your letter.

Although Ahmed is sociopathic and extremely violent, we hope that your sensitivity to what you described as his "attitudinal problem" will help him overcome this character flaw. Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences.

Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers. He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up, unless you feel that this might offend him.

Ahmed will not wish to interact with your wife or daughters since he views females as a subhuman form of property. This is a particularly sensitive subject for him. He has been known to show violent tendencies around women who fail to comply with the dress code that he considers appropriate, but I'm sure that over time they will come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the bhurka. Just remind them that it is all part of respecting his culture and his religious beliefs.

Thanks again for your letter. We truly appreciate it when folks like you inform us of the proper way to do our job. Take good care of Ahmed and good luck!

Cordially,
Don Rumsfeld

[deadparrot]

1. from Snopes...

http://www.snopes.com/politics/war/lark.asp

[Carolab]

3. Thanks, knew it was a fake of course but the article is good!

I'll send it on.

[Hissyspit]

9. Snopes refers to it as an example of clever satire. I disagree.

It only works on that level if one ignores the likelihood that one, 20, or hundreds of the detainees are innocent of that which they've been accused.

Or if one ignores the significance of the detention center as a very un-American symbol of legal Constitutional "loophole-ing."

You 'Dem' friend is not very bright.

[jeff30997]

2. Hey! I'm eating right n...Baaaarf !

:puke:

[still_one]

4. I assume it is scarcasm

if not, reply to her that if we don't follow the Geneva Convention, then what do we stand for?

[smartvoter]

5. I know right wingers that would LOVE to read this. I won't send it. nt

[Hello_Kitty]

6. Sure, I'll be happy to sign up for that

As soon as RWers sign up for the "Adopt The Babies You So Desperately Want To Save From Abortion" program.

[chalky]

12. Or better yet, give birth to them.

We'll call it "Operation Snowflake".

Oh, and while the women are home birthin' them babies,
let's make sure those armchair warriors finally sign up for active duty, too.

[baron j]

7. Tell your friend about a few little somethings such as

the eighth amendment:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eighth_Amendment_to_the_United_States_Constitution

http://www.aclu.org/SafeandFree/SafeandFree.cfm?ID=17590&c=207

the Geneva Convention:

http://www.aiipowmia.com/legis/geneva1950.html

and the Universal Declaration of Human Rights

http://www.un.org/Overview/rights.html

http://www.un.org/rights/50/decla.htm

[Skittles]

8. I trust those prisoners far more than I trust any member of bush inc

yes INDEED

[dorktv]

10. Considering how badly they screw up everything else,

I am sure if they actually did this, all the liberals in America would get the college educated, decent young men who were just in the wrong place with the the wrong clothes at the wrong time. But the Republicans would get all the real psychos after all, not a few of them seem to be gluttons for punishment.

[Broken_Hero]

11. Yeah, it looks like a fakey to me...

So it must be one right? What a joke, i know its fake, cause Don Rumsflied can't type,write, or read...:P